Come on up on the porch...
 

Well I must say my vacation was one of the best in a long time. I actually felt pretty darned good. Why I even put on my dancin shoes and cut a jig or two with a couple of strange men. My DH and BIL didn't want to stay at the local pub after we ate so they left. My sister and I stayed and listened to the band. We danced together a couple of times and I danced with a couple of guys. I haven't danced in over 12 years because of the balance issues...I explained to my dance partners they couldn't spin me around like a toy top...

Unless they wanted to pick me up off the floor. They understood and they held my hand tight enough for me to keep my balance and were very gentlemanly.

The only problem was one just couldn't seem to comprehend that the big ole shiny ring on my left hand was a weddin ring given me by yer pa. Now, I know what yer thinking, but I told him straight up when he asked that I wuz taken, I wuz faithful to yer pa...he said he understood he wuz married hisself.

Well the ole coot sho nuff didn't act married when he came over and sot his old rustie down by me and my sister. First off, I didn't say he could touch me no where's on my body, second off, what made him think he had the right, I sho nuff wuzn't wearing no low cut party dress. I told him nice and polite as I showed him that nice shiny ring I was faithful, then he rubs my arm...I move my chair over...

He says I can leave...I look at him and with every look that reads disdain and like I care if hades freezes over state...that is up to you, but we have already had this conversation. He sits back down...then that fool his pore ole momma done raised reaches out and rubs my arm again.

Well, that wuz just more than this woman was willin to sit, stand or lie down for...I made a fist with my left hand with the big shiny ring and told him with fire in my eyes and deadly calm that makes the devil shake...

You put your hands on me one more time and this ring is going to knock your A%% right out of that chair and into that wall. Then I'm going to take these number seven shoes and kick the living sh@@ out of you and your wife will have one dead carcass to put in the ground.

He left so fast his you would thought she walked in...my sister leaned over and said...did he get the runs? lol I told I would tell her later, since she was talking to this guy, his friend. He didn't come back over, the guy she talked to bought her a drink and left... A dance is just that, a dance nothin more, nothin less...we ain't talkin bout rubbin bellies here. It ain't like if you dancin with ya main life's choice and gettin all warm and cozy...

It ain't easy to get warm and cozy to mustang sally and Hank why do you roll smoke. I did tell my DH about the incident, him and my BIL said, glad it wasn't them...this might explain why I've felt like crap, all that fun catchin up with me...ya just can't run fast enough from MS...lol

Moral of this story...girls, when you dance with a snake, make sure you can stomp his head. Guys, when you dance with a girl, don't be the snake.:)

Come on down for a rattlesnake dance. Now that your back home maybe I can get back to business on redecorating your porch, the duct tape way!!

I saw jmillers name and rushed over with my shotgun. It's only bird seed in my scatter rifle, won't kill him, but maybe needed. That boy is trouble!!!

Momma, since I'm sitting on your porch we can talk about snakes, I remember when.................

Well Momma, you've still got it. :) Glad you put him in his place, lol. He didn't know who he was messin' with did he? Maybe he'll think twice before trying that with the next gal he dances with. :D

Oh momma is a harmless one, time to wrap kicker in some duct tape and hang her from the tree. Let me throw a couplr rattlers under those rocking chairs up on that porch!

Oh Momma, that sho nuff reminds me of the time I danced with a snake so slithery he oozed nasty. He thought dancin' with me thought he could pull me down onto his lap as I went to the ladies room. Well, he shor did git a surprise when some other gentlemen saw what happened. I jumped up, shoved that snarly snake, said a few choice words that aint fittin' on this page and proceeded to join my girls on the dance floor.

Next thang I know a bar stool came flyin on the dance floor! :yikes: I turned around, still dancing of course *snicker* and saw those kind young gentlemen strong holding that sneaky snake all the way to the front door! I stepped back cuz another chair came flyin' but was laughing so hard I thought I'd have to make a run to the ladies room again!

Those fine young gentlemen looked my way, smiled and nodded for me and my girls to go on and keep dancing. I smiled back, said thanks and sent a round of drinks their way.

Yep, shor nuff there are snakes among us and sometimes they git bit. :D

That Sandy, she's a good girl. Not like some of those hussys nowadays.

Oooooh, wish I had an excitin story to share! Y'all are makin me think of Barry Manilow's "Copacabana" song! :D

I was still a sweet young thang when an older boy at a church dance held me so tight my back c r a c k e d ! :eek:


Hmmmm, wonder what these rolls of duct tape are fer? Guess I'll jess throw em out there fer the dogs to chew on.

JMiller, if you didn't live so far away I would blame my sweetpea vine gettin all burned up by YOU!! lol My H threw is nasty cigar in the dried vines and burned em up...:eek: That's ok...his favorite lil ole baseball cap has tire tracks on it...oops I did it again...forgot to look before I back up...

Twink...made yer back crack...any closer and you'd be on the other side...I betcha jest holdin out on us...:p Don't throw out my duct tape...not my new colored ones!

Sandy...I've always gone dancing with friends, this is a small place so everybody knows everybody. We live close to the nuclear Plant Hatch...so guys were always rotating shifts from other states. We just had a good time and stayed out of trouble...mostly.:)

Kicker...jest don't shot out his eyeballs cause we's goin fishin ifn I make it to Florida in a few weeks.:sunchair::Poke:

Wiz...since my DH and I have been married that is the 1st time in 18 years I've been dancing and him not be there. lol My DH does not dance, does not like to dance and never learned.