OT..Holiday weight loss tips
 

laura here. steve and i are going to post under one username at times just cuz its easier. im doing good today except for a huge bout of dyskenesia this morning which prompted the topic of this thread. in other words... we laughed. gotta do that some times, ya know? so, in dis thread we ah gonna ask yous guys to use ya imaginashin faw gettin da yayas outa ya system. Gut- bustin laughtah. ja know what im sayin ere?

take it away steve..

Whuteva Laura..You tawk like dis lady..Whudayacallit?..Margie from "Fargo"

Darn tootin..You betcha

I gonna post uh picha o' Margie, butt dis neurotical talk wont let yooze untill yooze have ten posts..%&^&^%$##@$%^^$##!!!!!

1) Try to wrap X-mas presents with dyskenesia

Approx weight loss - 2lbs per gift

2) Looking everywhere for your things..ie, glasses, meds, scissors, tape, wrapping paper..you end up going out and buying the stuff all over again..Den yooze find duh stuf on da closet shelf when yooze go to hang up yur jacket afta comin back frum Wally Maht..Appox weight loss - 5lbs

3) Cooking X-mas dinner with tremors and dyskenisia..Not to worry..By the time dinner is cooked there will be more food on the floor than in than in the pan..Approx weight gain - 0 lbs

4) eating christmas dinner. man created utensils, which can be a chore to use while trying to cut ham or turkey. they also become projectile missles that launch your food by the forkfulls across the room. but, God gave us hands, so depending on how hungery you are, and how much you care about the clothes you are wearing (we suggest something sprayed with alot of non stick stuff) you can still eat. approx weight gain depends on vanity or lack of it.

5) putting up the christmas tree. this does not include decorating it. just dragging the thing in the front door and fitting it in that holder that has screws on the sides, then trying to align it straight from ALL angles, is worth at least 1 pound per visual sighting and re-straightening. swear words are validated at 1/3 lb loss each.


6) Worried about eatin' too much turkey ovah da Holidaze?..Ham?..Fahgedaboudit!..Ahda take out Chinese, like uhh, General Tso's Chicken durin' off periods, and dont fergit da chop stix..Bon Apetit suckah!..Betchah ya cant eat jus' one..litterally

Appox weight gain - 0 lbs

Approx weight loss - 2 lbs

7) Sendin' X-mas cards..Howz yur han-writin?..Gut macroplilia, aw whuteva it iz?..You sends out da cards, and da writin' iz so small dat nobudy get da cahds, cuz da mailman cant read em, and you git snubbed by deez people when dey sees dem at da soopah-mahkit, an' cant undahstan' why?

Appox weight loss - Nun..I jus taught it soundid funny

steve, this is why ecards were invented... ahem...

ok...how bout cleaning the house before the onslaught of guests?

weight loss..

doing yourself..bravo! 10 pounds and a pat on the back

waiting for help from kids.. 4 lbs lost just from stress, 5 pounds for finishing the job

calling cleaning service.. 1 pound for picking up phone, 3 pounds for shelling out the cash they charge.

telling people you will not be home.. 0 pounds


cleaning up after christmas.. who cares? you have paid your dues. zero pounds.

Dis tread wuz insprid by Hahley, who wuz rappin X-mas prezints diastahnoon..She wuz dyskinetik, and was sittin down on da flaw..She wuz rockin' back an fort, spinnin aroun'..shoulda seen her tryin' ta tape da rappin' papah..Dey say a movin' tahgit is hahdah ta hit..Dat aint no lie..She looked like she wuz break dancin' er sumthin..Ya had ta be dare..I loss 10 lbs jus' watchin'..Honist-in-God..Ya had ta be dare!

Huh..70 peoples looks at dis here tread, an' nobudy replies..Well. a Merry Fat Christmas to all of yooze stiffs!!..:D

No respect I tell ya!

You two are a hoot. God bless you and thanks for the laugh.

Merry christmas!
 

you two are having fun? its funny when your American english dialects
differ...
I am from the midwest so I believe I may sound very southern to you...
most people in the New England area I once lived in - the town where Dartmouth is & the New England journal of Medicine lives...
:D ask me if I was from the deep south - my answer -"everyplace is the deep south from here!"
I cant get rid of it, so I will have my friend Betty Boop,
tell you twoo's -for me...
http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...uf3jmhmx7u.gif
http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/1...xmrh5sskmc.gif

my christmas present to youtoo love birds
 

one of my favorite old -love songs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbHAvBfmvFM
or perhaps you may like to watch the movie -spoiler ending?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMYzJ4CArXg


it's called "La vie en rose" - french translation - A Bed of Roses to you both -and watch out for the thorns... ;)

I was awestruck
 

I laughed till I cried. Then I tried to think of something clever to respond with. How could I possibly do that? It would never be that funny. All I can think of is the story of trying to take an elderly relative to lunch a few years ago. We drove all the way into DC in bad traffic to see the sights, but before his wife and I could walk around the Lincoln Memorial, the old guy started up with, "Weahs my beeah? Weahs my beeah?" as my husband drove him around and around the boulevards neatly lined with parked "cahs" in every parking place. After the ten minutes allotted, we rejoined the men, finding our driver nearly mad from the repetition of "Weahs my beeah?". It was ten-thirty in the morning. My beloved mate was totally stressed by the onslaught, so to save his sanity and mine, I took the wheel and we headed for Georgetown to find someplace to eat.

The change in direction brought us some respite, but the plea for beer was replaced by a monologue of grumbling criticism of the scene and the driver: "Weah ya goin fuh Gahdsake, duh neahest pahkin place is ten miles away. Dyuh know weah ya goin? Chr***! Woodja lookit dat hayuh? Now wy wood anywun wanna die er hayuh puuhpul?" and so forth. And to his wife, "No, ya naht gowin shahpin in Jawjtown!"

I'm not very familiar with Georgetown, but after a few blocks I spotted an empty parking place in front of a restaurant, pulled into it, and announced "We're here" in as breezy a manner as I could muster. To "Wut kynuvuh place iziss?" I replied that it was very highly rated by the Washington Post. Actually, I'd never heard of it in my life, but I kept that to myself. "Weahs my beeah?" recommenced.

Inside, I pulled a waitress aside as our party was being seated and asked her to bring the elderly gentleman a beer as quickly as possible. She did so and we all began to relax. We were in a beautifully paneled room in the elegant old tavern style, and the food was great, the service friendly and swift. It was an enjoyable meal, but the best part came as we were leaving, when the old man loudly proclaimed: "[Jaye] heeah shooah nose wut she's doin. Lookut da great place she braht us to. An she even had a pahkin place razooved ta put da caah in!"

Okay, Steve, now guess where the old man was originally from.

Bonus question: How many Rhode Islanders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Love you guys,
Jaye

Y'all knock maye ay-yot!
 

:D We-uns day-on hay-er ay-un tha say-oth jest wa-ush y'all c'ud larn to tawk lak nor-mul pay-pul. All y'all hay-uv ta do ay-us ay-ud ex-trah say-a-la-buls!;).

The only reason I look at this forum any more is to see how Laura is doing. I've been so worried and then today I saw this new moniker and it was a dead give away. I'm so glad to hear the laughter and warmth in your note and it's good to know Laura is ok or at least has someone there who cares & understands. When she needed help, Kevin was just too bad for me to step up.........and now he's gone. Stay warm you two!

OT of Christmas Weight Los
 

C'mon Steve, that story really happened, and the old man was from RI. How'd I do with the accent?

Laura, here's an interesting link for ya---
http://www.apdaparkinson.org/data/Bo.../APDASUP16.pdf
It's called "Why People with PD Should Not Go to the Emergency Room. Yeah, I know, NOW I tell ya, right?

Keep on hangin' in there.

Jaye

Well ahm tinkin, eihtah he'z frum Fall Riva, Mass, awe he'z frum Maine er' sumthin' er' udda