Choose not to be a victim.....
 

I have been reading this book entitiled
Feel the fear and do it anyway.

I think it should be a must read for everyone who has issues.

Some truths about fear.
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. Sounds easy right!
Not only am I going to expereince fear when ever I am on unfamiliar territory, so is everyone else. I am not alone!
Pushing thru fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes along with the feeling of hopelessness.
There is security in our little cocoon, though we fear the day of reckoning.

I will have less fear knowing that I can handle whatever comes along.

Some ways to not be a victim:
take responsibility.
never blaming someone else or external forces.
I control my thinking and actions.
Don't make yourself a victimof yourself.
I am doing the best that I can.
I can only make myself happy.
Stop the chatter box in your head the obcessing negativity.
learn how to enjoy alone time to yourself.
It means being aware of the pay offs that keep you stuck.
Make choices, you choose to stay in a job that you don't like because it is easier than starting over. ...it is easy, comfortable, avoid possible rejection in interviews, don't have to question my competance, don't have to expend alot of energy. The job is secure.
If you don't like your job you have many choices, quit, stay and be miserable, stay and make the most of it and choose to enjoy it.
the later is powerful and not a victim.
figure out what I want in life and acting on it, set goals and then go out and work toward them.
It is all about choices. THere are a multitude of choices you have in any situation, you choose what you do and how you react to things.
It is your choice.

Thanks

I have fear when I do something new too.
I also have fear when I try to train each time
again. Its so hard knowing I might not have
a voice when I try this.

So I appreciate this thread.

Donna

living free of fear
 

Dear Bizi,
Thanks for posting this.
Some of the things here I can do. Some, I'm not as good at as other things.

Mari

thought this should go here as well...
 

Mental health for beginners

You are a person first!
.....Always remember that-
.....Everybody has problems.
Can you be yourself?
.....You happen to be the expert of you.
Learn from the past, acknowledging what
.....has happened.
.....This is not easy and comfortable.
Listen to your heart, slow down your pace
.....so you can stay in touch with yourself
.....and reality.
Think about your actions, wants and
.....needs, knowing that it is hard to focus
.....with racing thoughts....
.....SO STOP IT!
.....Deliberate thinking is the answer.
Decide you are important and
.....worthy of this effort.
.....You can make decisions intelligently.
To make this decision is a choice.
.....You may choose not to....
.....While knowing the consequences.
.....You know you need to finally
Live for your life everyday!
.....It is your choice.

You can Learn, Listen, Think, Decide to Live.

It is your choice.

well - I really believe that my completely insane childhood and adolescence completely screwed me up... I didn't ask for that and I didn't have any control over it. a clinician i know says that kids who have survived trauma tend to experience trauma over and over compared to kids that did not.

i used to think i had all this control lying under my skin that i could just tap into and magically fight off all the demons.

at 42, i'm disillusioned. i do my best to handle it all. i try very hard to figure it all out.

the best i can say is that i think i've managed to figure out how to make it STOP.

the problem is, i'm too old to go back and undo all the lost years spent in caustic relationships. i can't go back and pick up the things i failed or gave up on.

now, I'm old - and so many things I think would mean much to me are off limits to me because of my criminal record and psych history.

this is my enigma. what am i going to do with the rest of my life to make it mean something?

anything...

Tritone-Forgive yourself for the past and go on knowing you are a wonderful person. Easier said than done.....

Hugs, Doxie

Sorry for hijacking the post. I told my PDoc last week there are TWO things wrong with me:

1. I can't stand myself and want to be someone else.

2. I'm incredibly, horribly angry. Angry, angry, angry...

Bad combination.


ps - not angry because of this post!!! Angry going back waaay before this forum.

Tritone...I get angry..I just wanted to leave you a hug..:hug:

anger is good sometimes
 

Dear Tritone,
It sounds like you have done a lot of healing work and find it frustrating that you are not making more progress.
I'm with you on that.

In the meantime, I do not look for meaning in my life beyond what I get each day. The days do add up so I can see a picture of my life emerging (Not the life as I imagined it). I try to do my best to ensure that this picture of the individual days is a good picture.
That is my hope for myself.

The bipolar and other stuff take away my ability to do more that that.

I have what might be small goals for myself but are in fact big:
1. stay alive
2. do so with a degree of grace
3. be kind to self and others . . .

You get the idea.

You will find what works for you.

And maybe the anger is a stage you need to go through. Maybe on the other side of it, you will be rewarded with new insight.

M.

Again, I don't think I ever thought of it quite like that. I'm going to try and remember this. It seems really obvious. I guess that is nature of most good things...!