Help!
 

Even though I'm a probation officer, and deal with family issues all the time, I am really hurting big time with my alcoholic sister.
She is disabled and unemployed. She's 54 and I'm 59. She sits at home and drinks 7 days a week. She is bitter and angry. She has attended to my alcoholic mother and finally told her off in a very abusive way and has left to me totally attend to her. My mother was, is very ill and, if it wasn't for the fact that she is my Mother, I wouldn't have anything to do with her. But, she's in a nursing home and needs my help. So, I do what I can. My sister, two years ago, in a drunken stuper told me off, my wife, my children and wished me dead. I coulnd't believe it. I have never talked that way to her in my entire life. I would never use that language to her or my Mother.
The other day, my mother fell, and I had to bring her to the hospital. I still felt that my sister's family should be aware of "our" mother's current status.
I told her son, my nephew. He was glad to her about grandma. Last evening, I received an email from my sister blasting me for using her son to tell her about our mother. I was in a no win situation. If I didn't inform...I would have heard about it, and by informing, I also got the email that I am my Mother's son and that she hated me and wished me dead again.
Honest to God, I am in such shock and hurt. I won't respond to this email. I was going to email her today, but when I got that response, I just realize that I am dealing with an ill person.
My oldest son just got married, my sister was his favorite Aunt, and she blew off his wedding. It hurt so bad. I just can't come to grips with this surreal behavior. Her enabling husband is so kind, but so weak...he just keeps his mouth shut. I am devistated.

Have you considered rehab? I have even heard good things about AA.

Have you also tried to talk to her when she is reasonable? Do you know why she is doing this? Getting some basic answers might help

I am sorry that you are going through this, and I am always amazed to hear about people who have loved ones going through these types of things, but they still love them. It must be tough, even if you are family. Especially if you are family :(

Hi there Jakatak!!!
I think that you would really benefit from Alanon meetings. They are for people just like you! You are not alone. Alanon is a wonderful place..I have been there myself and they really helped me! Alcoholism is a family disease...it effects everyone the alcoholic knows in some way. PLEASE..get to a meeting...they will be able to help you!!

Sorry to hear you are dealing with all of this. It's really too much burden for one person to carry. Have you checked out an Al-anon meeting? Go to 6 meetings and decide if it's the right place for you. You may be surprised at how parallel the stories run to your own.