My first Christmas without hubby!
 

As Christmas is almost upon us, I am concerned about how I am going to take Cristmas the first year, without him. I will be invited places, but if your thoughts are with your loved one, what do you do? Do you tell the world or suffer in silents? I mostly just talk about him on the boards. Mostly the family don't seem to know what to say, so they don't mention that much about him.
My husband was the youngest in his family and the first to go. Weeks go by and I don't see his family, nor do they call.

They are having a memorial service and his name will be called at 2 places, different towns. I can't possibly go to both and don't know what to do. A friend told me they are sad and that she cried the whole time she was there. Should I go and maybe cry and get it out? I did at Thanksgiving, the night before. I was ok that day. I guess I need to pray about it, and listen to my heart.

I don't think I could ever meet anyone like my husband. He was a designer and could make anything. Many have said, he was ahead of his time. So many are wanting something of his when I have an auction sale, Jan.1 st. I didn't realized it but he has made things for many people. The auctioneer said our sale will be a big one, because it was "his things". I am a little concerned that it could be bad weather. The auctioneer man said, it won't make a bit of difference. They will be there because he passed away. He did have a lot of friends.

People tell me the first year is the worst. Is this so?
Blessings,
Billie:)

Hi Billie,

First, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose my husband. So, I can't say that I know your grief. My heart goes out to you in finding a way to go on without him.
I lost my Mom five years ago, and I still miss her terribly. Yes, the first year was the worst to get through, as it's always the first birthday, or Thanksgiving or Christmas without them but as time goes on, it does get easier.
You are doing the right thing by talking to God and letting your heart find the way. I will say a special prayer for you.
It sounds like your husband was a very loved and skilled man. I know you were very proud of him. I hope the auction goes really good for you.
Talk about your husband as much as you can. It will help you the more you do. Also, I found that crying also helped, (helps). Whatever makes you feel better is what you should do.
I wish you the best.
Take care,
Linda :)

Hi Billie,

I'm so sorry about your husband. I read your story before and couldn't think what to say. This will be the first Christmas without my mom and the second without my dad. I can't even begin to understand what you are going through. My heart goes out to you and I hope you have people around you that will help you get through this.

I agree with what Linda said too. Talk about him as much as you can and if need me, let the tears flow. Reach out to your church and let them help you through this too.

Prayer is very powerful and I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers during this most difficult time.

God bless and keep you Billie.

Hi Linda~
 

Thanks for replying to my post. I have lost both my parents and don't have brothers or sisters. I am in touch with my first cousins as much as possible. Also have friends and they encourage me to talk about hubby.

At first, I couldn't imagine life wihout him. I am slowing getting use to it. We had lived on a farm for 42 years then I moved to a near by town. I do like town life and know some of the people here, as it is not so far away. The town seems to be a nice one. Life is differene here. The school being 1/2 block away, is a busy place for a while. Them they are the buede

Then there is a highway within a block from, here. It is a busy place, It would be nice if I could get a partime job also. Maybe in time. I have arthritis fairly bad in the winter due to all these operations on my back.
Blessings,
Billie:)

Special Hi to My new friend, Me BP~
 

I am sorry I haven't read your post yet. I have been moving for over a month now and getting read to close the farm up. It is sold to a nice family with two children. God does take good care of me. I first sold 101 acres, then the farm and found a place in town and now an auction coming up Jan. 1 st. Everything is moving on and working for my good too. It is hard each step of the way, but is a process I must go threw.

Thanks for replying and eveyone helps me to think I an on the right track. May God Bless You,
Billie:)

I know it must have been really hard closing the farm up. :( These things take time and I'm glad that things are moving along for you. It's a process, a long slow process, but I'm certain that God, and your DH, are guiding you each step of the way.

{{{{{{{{{{Billie}}}}}}}}}

just remember we are here for you billie. good times and bad.

i know you have posted about the auction how well loved your husband was. what a comfort to know that people who cared about him will also care about the posessions you are auctioning.

your strength and courage to start on this new path...it very inspiring.

Hi BJ
 

Yes, I am sure God & DH are guiding me, for sure. Everything I have done has been the right thing to do and it wasn't me. I first sold the farm ground, never advertised it or nothing. I had 2 bidding aganist each other til I sold it. Then I started looking for a place to live. I found a trailer and everybody said don't get one, that they don't hold up. Well I kept looking and came right back to this trailer again. I really like it.
Next I wanted to sell my farm home and the first ones to look at it I liked really well. Another couple looked, but I end up selling to the first couple. We first had some problemms with the price, but they came up and I went down and we made a deal.
Now I am ready for an auction sale. meet with them today. It's going to be Jan. 1 st. They are expecting a large sale. I hope so.
Thanks for responding. I appreciate it. Billie

Billie,
I pop in this website often, and was very happy to see your name, even though it is under these circumstances. I think of you often, and wondering,
HOW ARE YOU? Did you have your hernia surgery? If you did, how did it go?
I always think of you as being so brave, and admire your faith!
I do not know what you are going through, but I can keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And send you some big cyber
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))).
My mom's husband is in hospice now, and Thanksgiving was hard, but she got through it OK. It is hard to watch her go through this, knowing she is going to be alone soon.
I hope your church makes sure you are not too lonely through the holidays. You can come spend the holidays with my family (we will take you in with open arms) if you would like!
Carolyn

Hi Carolyn~
 

Thank You for the invite. I will be with my husbands family for Christmas. It won't be the same, but I have no choice. We spent the Holidays together for Thanksgiving, only here at my place. I don't mind having them all come here, only Christmas, I don't have a big enough place. I have a double wide, but the family is large. I readly like my new place. I don't like my yard full of tree's because of all the leaves. it has been a nightmare. I am worn out from all the raking today and I hired help.

I got over my hernia operation fine. No problems. It sure wasn't like having back surgery. I am not completely over it yet. I have an appointment Dec. 21.
It to see if I am fusing ok. They haven't check that yet.

Somehow I don't feel brave or full of faith. I do know God did help me threw the back surgery. For when I checked in I didn't have no fear and the same after surgery also. They just couldn't see how I could do so much so quick. It was God, not me. I knew I had a special touch and nothing anyone said made any difference. They even turned my bed alarm on, because I was getting up without any help. I told them I didn't need help. ha! They tried putting me in rehab and nobody had room or they said I wasn't sick enough. I just laughed at them. I really have done well.

I feel for your Mother. I will say a prayer for her that God will give her a special touch & strenght when she needs it.
Thanks for the invite Carolyn. You are so nice.
Blessings,
Billie:)