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-   -   Letting Go of Emotional and Energy Ties (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/7434-letting-emotional-energy-ties.html)

BJ 11-28-2006 07:15 AM

Letting Go of Emotional and Energy Ties
 
Letting Go of Emotional and Energy Ties
by Karyn Greenstreet (life coach)

When we are close to another human being, whether it's our children or our spouses, we form energy bonds with them. For example, my mother always seems to know when I need her to call me, and I've been away from home for 20 years! (And doesn't every mother know when their kids are doing something wrong in the other room?)

There is a technique I learned to break the bonds of energy when the physical relationship is no longer there. It is a very difficult technique to do, because you have to WANT to disconnect from that person on all levels. Examine your heart and mind, and decide if you are really ready to break the bonds between yourself and someone who is not in your life any longer. Then, try this technique:

Imagine you and your (ex-spouse, ex-lover, ex-whatever) standing face-to-face. Imagine that there are "ropes of light" extending from his (her) chakras to your chakras. Now, imagine a HUGE pair of scissors coming from the sky and cutting each rope. You may have to do this part many, many times to make sure all the connections are broken.

Finally, imagine that you have a box in which you have kept every part of your ex that he/she gave you. Imagine giving this box back to him/her, with thanks and kindness, and imagine asking him/her to give you back your box as well. Imagine exchanging these boxes, then turning, and walking away from each other.

My pdoc just emailed this to me a short while ago. I’ve recently been pushed away by someone who I thought was my friend. We’ve shared every emotion possible over the last 2 ½ years and now it’s over. I’ve emailed her and phoned her and no replies until last night. She said there’s no time, she’s too busy. I’ve felt her distancing herself ever since I’ve been diagnosed. I thought it was just my insecurity or paranoia but it happened to be true. I haven’t replied to her email because I just don’t know how to say goodbye. :(

I thought of Nikko when I read this but I hope it helps anyone else that needs to "let go".

Nikko 11-28-2006 12:01 PM

Wow - sounds great......I assume I would have to practice this over and over as mentioned.

I'm going to try it though.

Thanks for sharing.

Hugs, Nikko

hamster 11-28-2006 12:15 PM

I think this sounds like a good idea, too. When I read about this technique I could sort of see myself doing it. I think I have slowly shut most everybody out of my life, except for my kids and one or two other people (not counting my doctors). I don't understand why. I don't like being around people and I don't think I'm good enough, or something like that. You know?

BP?, I think it's really crummy that your friend treated you this way. It's very hurtful.

I was thinking that it was really nice that your pdoc takes the time to email you things like this.

Hugs

Hamster

fiberowendy2000 11-28-2006 04:27 PM

I agree....I like the visualization idea. I also agree that the way your friend treated you was crappy, but unfortunately not unusual with people with chronic illnesses be it mental or physical. I think subconciously they think its catching or something. That it somehow affects their health by being around you. Strange huh?
I have had to say good-bye so many times its almost second hand now. I wish it wasn't so but I have accepted that people who are "normal" can't handle those who are ill.
I hope that you can eventually tell your friend good-bye in your heart soon.

bizi 11-28-2006 05:50 PM

wow your pdoc sent this to you!
 
Dear BJ,

That is a wonderful meditation of sorts as well.
It speaks so well of honoring the other person involved.
I really like how this makes me feel.
I am sorry that your friend hasn't the time for you....perhaps this will get better with alittle distance???

I know that I can be very intense and exhausting for others when I am hypomanic....
I also know what it feels like to be rejected...I wanted to be more then acquiantances with a woman...she did not .....it still hurts that she doesn't want to be more of a friend to me....i feel like I am too high maintenance for her.
I don't think it is over with you guys...maybe just taking a break?
(((HUGS))))
bizi

BJ 11-28-2006 09:01 PM

Yes it's very "crappy" what she's done to me. I've tried not to keep emailing and calling but I was worried when she didn't answer. We've been through so much together and spent many nights online on IM crying our hearts out to each other. I thought we would be friends for life and we had many dreams and goals and we striving to reach them. I've never told her about the BP diagnosis just for that reason. When I'm hypomanic I try to avoid everyone because I don't know how I'll react in certain situations. Of course, at the time I didn't know that's what was happening. I get confused and hurt very easily anymore with my crazy mixed up emotions and I try not to be a burden to anyone. So I hide, or retreat or whatever.

Quote:

I don't think it is over with you guys...maybe just taking a break?
I think it's over. I just found out a little while ago she has me blocked on IM. Before I could "see" her online almost 24 hours. Now it's been 7 days since she's been on and I wondered what was happening.

I have an email saying how I feel but I can't get the nerve to push that darn send button. Because when I do I'll know for sure it's over. :(

bizi 11-28-2006 11:14 PM

I am sorry BJ....
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

waves 12-01-2006 05:28 AM

Hello Me BP?
 
Hello BJ,

how sad your story was. i find that gradual avoidance is so painful.
the article / exercise was very interesting. it sounds helpful.
thank you for sharing. both.

~ waves ~ sends well wishes


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