So, now it is Christmas.....
 

This year, whether it is the first, the second, the third, or the tenth since our loved one died, WE, those who are or have grieved, have gifts to give to ourselves and to one another. Perhaps it is a hug or a hand on a shoulder. Perhaps it is listening without judgment or advice . Perhaps it is not expecting as much from ourselves or from others. Perhaps it is a message of hope or a word of encouragement. Perhaps it is letting yourself say or hear the words: "I love you" or "You did the best you could."

Let our gift this season be the willingness to give to others and allow others to give to you those things that money cannot buy. Perhaps your gift is allowing others to see your brokenness and to come alongside of you in your pain. Perhaps your gift is to come alongside of someone in their brokenness and pain. Perhaps....it is both.


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The Compassionate Friends November newsletter. The Healing Garden

How beautifully written Alffe. It is so true. We need to reach out to our fellowman and lend a hand or words of comfort, just as much as we need to receive these special gifts.
May you have a Blessed Holiday Season.
Linda :)

I'm slow getting here~
 

I just noticed this post tonight. Yes Alffe, I agree with what you saying. If we are giving, our minds are busy and it does help. Gods word tells us that. We are to put God first, others second, and self third. Sometimes it is hard tho. Old memories died hard. We will never forget them. Every holiday, birthday or Wedding Anniversary. I have discovered, that others don't necessory want to hear about the loved one, even in the family. I can't figure out why!
Fancylady

I agree Fancylady when you say that sometimes others don't want to hear, even in the family. My sisters don't want to be sad and sometimes I just need to.

It's been hard on me to go back to the church we belonged to as a family. This Christmas is going to be especially hard. My mother was a beautiful mezzo soprano and the choir there is so talented. Everytime they sing a beautiful hymn and the sopranos do the descant...major sniff time for me. My mom so loved hymns and Christmas carols. I'm so excited about Christmas Eve, but know I'll be a blubbering mess becaue my mom isn't there to sing and my dad to beam at her as she would walk down the aisle with the choir.

billie , i don't really understand it either. my folks had a hard time talking about my brother after he died.

for me, not a day goes by when i don't think of him. i talk about it often. even grandmonkey who has my brothers middle name knows lots of fun stories about him.

yes i miss him. yes i cry. but the memeories and sharing them bring me joy and have helped me heal. i feel like part of him keeps living in those who get to know him..even tho he is gone...but not forgotten.

and julie..bring plenty of hankies. waterproof mascara. and listen for her voice. it sings often....i hear it when you post about your sons.

Curious~
Well said! I think it is important to grieve and remember.
Billie

hey you..whatcha doing up?
(((billie)))

Curious~
 

I went to bed at midnight and got up at 4:30. I do this all the time. For one thing my dog wanted out to potty! I only sheep 4 hrs. or so all the time. I did go back to bed tho, & got a little more sleep. What was you doing up?

Billie:)

insomnia...as usual.
sorry i didn't see this. i went offline to read a book.
hope you got more rest. :)

.

But how do you grieve? Is there a "proper" way? And along with remembering comes many, many tears. Who wants to be around someone that's a blubbering mess all the time? It's the holidays and you're supposed to be happy shopping, decorating and going to parties. Why is there such sadness? Why is this the time of year when so many on the edge go over? It's a mystery to me.