Suicide Touches Everyone
 

It really does.

You may have lost a family member, friend, neighbor, old school classmate, tried youself, a relative of a friend or co-worker...a celebrity you idolized, a ball player....

What about sitting down and watching the news? A 7 yr old walks in the room as the reporter annouces that a man commited suicide after killing his family? You then have to explain suicide to a child. That suicide touches everyone who watched.

The elephant is in the room. I am glad it is.

My elephant is one who never forgets. Has the memory of an elephant.

Not some big thing in the room that no one sees.

No, this elephant learned at a young age what suicide is.

This elephant learned that if you give it just a weee bit of time, the rainbow will appear. The kitty will purr and the birds will sing. Yes, the rain and the clouds will come, but they replenish the earth and our souls. Life begins again. A new day.

I know some have not been sure they belonged on this forum. If they should even post. They read and read.

Suicide touches everyone. We all belong. I wish we didn't.

We post and let the hope of a new tomorrow be known, to let it be known that we are here, that we will listen, that we care, that love is real and the pain will ease.

:grouphug:

I threatened to kidd curious about everyone being touched by suicide but I know what she means. Completed suicide has ramifications that are so far reaching that I don't want to kidd about them.

All of us has a story...we can share it or not..but we learn from each other..we learn what not to do and what to do when we are touched by it. I'm still learning after all these years and some of it suprises me.

It really does touch everyone. My late sister's ex-husband committed suicide 26 years ago. She was devastated for herself and their three children who were teens at the time.

Then my sister died two weeks later from a ruptured aneurysm. Coincidence? I don't think so. And her oldest three kids lost both parents at once. I felt so bad for them that I felt guilty to grieve. Now finally, after all these years have passed and they're adults, I try to calm their memories. Telling them that I remember how much their Dad loved them although he'd been a mostly absentee father. I remember the love in his eyes when he'd see them, and the regret when acknowledging that he wasn't doing enough. He was flawed but he loved them. They didn't seem to remember the love.

They're all finding peace. Finally. I wish I'd had the maturity and wisdom to make it happen earlier for them.

Thank you for sharing that Wiz...I so agree with your thinking that her death was not a coincidence. :( What those kids had to deal with. So glad to read that they have found peace...sometimes it feels like peace with never come. Do they discuss suicide with you? :hug:

That's beautiful, Curious.

Yes, my oldest niece was sharing that she was close to suicide following her parents' death. :( The kids were teens (13, 15 & 17) and I was a new mom with babies in my early twenties. They didn't like hanging out at my house, wanted instead to spend time with friends.

If I knew then what I know now maybe I could have done more. I love those three so much. They all consider suicide to be a copout and would never do that to their own loved ones. We sometimes touch on the topic at family get togethers. They're very close to each other but really miss their Mom especially since she raised them.

I know the man was in pain but he could have sought help. I don't know what made him do it but it really did cause a lot of pain. He'd had gambling and drinking problems.

I'm so sorry for all of them..sorry he felt the need to end his life...sorry your sister had to live that nightmare before her own death and the kids have that awful legacy. It's painful to have to explain when people ask about their loss. I think you've been a wonderful Aunt to them for all these 26 years. :hug:

It is true Curious...My great grandfather took his own life when I was
12 years old. His son , my grandfather tried twice but was unsuccessful.:(

Sox I'm sorry. Did you know, at age 12, that he died by his own hand?
It's so common to hide this information from family members. :hug:

ugh..my modem is acting up, so replying is taking forever.

Sox, same type of family history with me. I found out the truth the summer that I was 12.

Wiz, those kids are blessed to have your mom and you, plus the family for support. No children should have to suffer such grief.

Alffe...you know you are going to tease. :wink:

Suicide may not touch everyone in the same way or as strong. But it does touch.

As I stated, some people haven't known if they fit in here if wasn't a direct family member. Suicide touches everyone.

Not everyone feels ok to share their personal story or stories. That is ok. There aren't rules about that. I don't for personal reasons. Not all of my family knows, some don't care to and other want to keep it hushed.

:grouphug:

No...I didnt know.........They told me at 18 when my dear grandfather
tried himself.:(

(((sox))) Hopefully in todays "market" it isn't such a huge secret! I'm so sorry....a gene thing maybe?...have you read Blue Genes?
The author Lucas discovered years later that his mother had completed suicide...it was kept from the family...and after he finished this book...his beloved brother completed the same. :hug:

I've shared some.

I shared with you all the fact that my first cousin took his own life with a gun. I shared that my own father attempted suicide and failed. That was the day he was told he had cancer.

In September my husband lost his 16 year old nephew to suicide.... his brother's only grandson, and this last week I shared with you what happened when a patient of mine took his own life at the hospital.

Suicide has touched me on more occassions than even the ones I've mentioned here, but I'm not ready to share any more yet. Every time I share a little bit more, it stirs up the memory, and every time it hurts that little bit more.

One day................ maybe.

Only when you're ready Anne...you don't need to be "stirred up". :grouphug:

soxy and wizzy, I am so glad to see you guys here sharing...not that you have to...(((BIG HUGS)))

Anne, (((BIG HUGS)))

you're right, ole curioso....suicide touches everyone....

I have often thought about how one day, who and how we'll have to explain to the grandmoisses about the suicide of their real Grand Father....

and HOW that will affect them......the only thing we can do for them is to give them tons of love and let them know that we're here for them.....

and Alpho, close to 10 years after you've started the suicide forum, I wonder how many lives you have touched....lurkers, non-lurkers...

I'll bet 100's if not 1000s....

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: for the room...

that's very nice of you to say moi. :hug: You told me once of the staggering number of lurkers you came upon here....mind boggling.

I still shaking my head over a small insert I clipped from yesterdays paper..about a new support group here in my town for "adults who have suffered the loss of a loved one, or who may be a survivor of a homicide victim." ?????

They will meet once a week...which is really really often for support groups...and I'm going to call and make a few inquireys once I collect my thoughts. :confused:

Its hard for us to realize sometimes what this forum can do. Its hard to see it, but, I know, that it does help many people. And, I am one of them. And have been going waaaayyy back. :grouphug:
It has a dominoe affect, you help one person, you help many more and so on.

old thread bumping up because there is another small insert in both yesterdays and todays paper about a research opportunity at our local college (IUSB). They are looking for volunteers who have lost a loved one to suicide and would be willing to fill out questionnaires for their study. Volunteers would be paid 15.00 per session and would be provided with helpful resources. I'm going to pass this time around. ~sigh

Just heard on the national news that Army suicides have doubled this last month and those asking for help are so numerous they can't handle them all. ~sigh~ Scream....tear hair out~

www.cbsnews.com http://www.cbsnews.com/1770-5_162-0....type=cbsSearch

I am bumping this old thread up yet again because I thought I "knew" everything there was to know about suicide after losing Michael in Jan of 1990. I have a library of books on it, I have "counseled" neighbors, fellow church members, started and attended support groups...etc. How wrong I was!

This is a generation decision. Unless you are willing to journey through the grieving process of losing a loved one to suicide, you will impact your own children, you will hand that horror down. Seeing this happen in my own family is a great sorrowful revelation to me and I seem to be helpless to intervene.

When someone refuses to discuss it, or read about it and claims that "works" for them, that is how they handle it than that is the end of the conversation.......except....what about my great grandchildren!!!

alffe
 

Yo can lead a horse to water....

you are right Barbo, sigh, tear hair out

Alfie, I think you want to tear your hair out because there is always going to be pain in this world and we can't help them all. Be comforted by mois kind words a few pages back of the 1000s of lurkers SOS has helped and continues to help. Suicide is continuous. Pain and mental Illness are treatable but not curable, same with some cancers. We can only do so much. One person at a time, one day at a time.

I may wear gray glasses, but I can still see a rainbow out there.

Let me tell you how suicide has touched me. When I lost my closest ally and best friend in this world, my mother, at age 13 from cancer--- I wanted to join her. I didn't want to suffer the loneliness and pain the world kept throwing at me. It was dark days and dark times 15 years ago. Then I stumbled upon this website. I met wonderful people on the other side of the fence. I empathized with their pain and connected the dots. I persevered and kept pushing. "Never surrender" I was told. "This too shall pass" I was encouraged it'd get better. Turn 18 and become an adult, reach for your dreams and look to the stars. Make a wish and dream big. And so I did. Soon my name will have Dr in it. I work daily with trauma survivors and I've made a mission to instill hope in those that are hopeless professionally. This forum did that for me. Social support did that. Effort and not giving up. Love, more love, and trust in others. Talking about loss is the key to healing. Sharing our stories with others, whether on this side of the fence or that encourages us to continue. Suicide touches everyone.

I hadn't looked back on these dark days until they resurfaced a couple years ago. The struggle was real, the darkness awful. Stress made it worse. Treatment and help is available, you just have to ask and not give up. I knew that so I did it, despite it being challenging anyways. I learned this summer my great aunt that I always heard wonderful things about but never met, committed suicide decades ago. She was also in a helping profession. Her death was and had always been kept a secret until now. This touched me even though I didn't personally meet her. I knew it influenced my grandmother and pained her. I know I have to keep going. There is no other option.

That is my story. Despite hearing stories over and over all day. No one hears mine. But that's ok, I know it and that's all that matters. And now you do too.

Thank you for sharing wish.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

No one hears mine. But that's ok, I know it and that's all that matters. And now you do too.


We have heard it now Wish loud and clear.........so powerfully put:hug:

David