desperate carer
 

ive cared for my husband with post concussion syndrome for 18mnths and all of a sudden out of the blue he has said that he wants to go into a carehome because he thinks im not coping with looking after him .Im upset that he even thinks that and my daughter of seven overheard what he said and now shes upset too .I dont know what to do i dont want him to leave has anyone got any ideas?

i'm so sorry you & family are dealing with this...

i've been carer and i also have PCS ....
this 'invisible' disabliity can be very complex, challenging & difficult, esp affects on family, loved ones...

Have you posted this at TBi/PCS forum here @NT??
i've not been active, so don't 'know' what's happening , there or other forums.
there have been some wonderful understanding folks offering support, suggestions who personally know how devastating TBi/PCS can be..
caregiver forum here sadly not too active...
but your post caught my attention & felt compelled to respond...

right now my puter is not working well. Lossing, lost replys.
hope this will post...while i try to compose a better response ... do have some questions...
will try to share more, & some of my 'experiences' , thoughts soon...
i went thru someting like this ... felt "need" to 'remove' self from parents home where i'd been living as caregiver for years ... when my 'stuff' felt out of control, and i could see how adversely was affecting my family

know can become " crises" .... do You have other support--systems ?? DR, professionals who are involved, & understand your hb conditions, issues?? people you, hb, daughter can talk to???
know its very painful, to watch witness... trying to understand & deal with things that we--those w/ Tbi/PCs are also struggling to understand, cope , make Peace with...
wish i could offer more...
feel free to PM me...
wishing u all the BEST...

Alisden,

I am very sorry. I can only imagine how painful this entire experience has been for you and your daughter. I have had a TBI, and have struggled with each personal relationship that I have (including my husband and daughters). My daughters have begun adjusting well to "me". It has taken 2 1/2 years for us to get this far - and that is with my family helping us. Thank goodness my family has helped so much with our young daughters!

I've always tried to get better - with occupational therapy, psychology, psychiatry, and social workers. Even still, it has been incredibly demanding on all of us. The more help you and your daughter have, the better. You need the personal support.

You're welcome to PM me. Best wishes to you all!
Shez

Alisden, hello and welcome. I take care of my husband with multiple sclerosis. I am so sorry I just now saw this. How are things going with your husband? I remember the hard times too and how my husband didn't want to burden us with his illness. We got through those times and I pray the same for you. Hold on to your love and faith to help you get through. :hug:

If you need anything please ask.

alisden,
I hate men. I'm a men so I know.

Sorry. Trying to open with a joke.:o

I think your hubby is trying to hold onto what pride and dignity he has left. (No, I can't speak for him, I'm just putting myself in his place.) I wouldn't see this as a slight against you or being unappreciative of your efforts and love and caring for him. Maybe he's starting to feel like a burden to those he loves. Or simply wants a "break" from the routine.

I once quit a decent job and went to a different carreeer altogether. It wasn't any better or worse, it was just different.

Compromise is often the best solutionto problems. Would a home-health nurse help?

Just hoping all turns out for the best for both of you.:hug: