I'm a failure...
 

On Friday, I was going to tell my therapist that I felt the need to end therapy with her and I ended up so nervous and so down over it that I couldn't talk at all. My therapist made me feel better that day which adds to my confusion that I am having. I know I need to end therapy with her but I don't know how I am going to do this. It is so hard. I feel like such a failure. Why do I keep disappointing myself? Why do I keep putting myself in these types of positions? :(

Wishful

Since she made you feel better on that day - that is a good thing.

I don't know how it works - Do you need to have a new therapist lined up before you quit the one you have?

I changed doctors {MD} by finding a new one and then just went to the office of the one I was leaving and requested my files.

((((((((((Wish))))))))))

I dont have answers but I do have lotsa hugs and prayers for you

Cheri

I did the same thing Jo did. I was sneakier though. I told them I needed my records to send to the university because of a medical withdrawal.

Hugs and more hugs,

Julie

I can quit at any time I want to. I don't have to have another therapist lined up or anything. I can just tell her that I don't want to do it any more and that would be it. Though, I just don't know if I can hold on that long without a therapist. I'm not sure how long the wait will be for a new one. I'm on the waiting list so hopefully it won't be too long, but it can be. There is a huge demand for therapists around here. It's so frustrating!

I just want to go home and sleep all of this away. I am tired of college and I am tired of doing homework all the time. I am tired of my therapist and I just want to cry. I just don't know what to do any more.:(
Wishful

Usually when we don't feel like doing something, we really NEED to do that. I sometimes try to push myself to do something I feel resistent to doing.

It might be that way because it is part of your school, perhaps (leaving therapy without talking about it or having another one lined up). The problem is if you want that "lifeline" again, you may not be able to get a convienent appointment after you stop. You might want to consider if this is something you really want. Is this something you won't need at a later date?

Therapy is like a lifeline that helps you to stay grounded, so you don't lose sight of your goals, objectives, priorities and the progress you have made so far. (I think without therapy you may slip further downhill, feeling more depressed than you do now.) If you stop therapy you might end up dropping out of your classes too. You might consider if you have someone you can talk to or check in with if you don't have a therapist anymore. Isolation is not a good thing but a lot of depressed people tend to isolate too much.

If you don't have anyone to talk to then you should carefully consider giving up therapy because you feel you don't want to do it anymore. You might feel so much better if you push yourself to do this because you will feel better for having gotten yourself out and done something about these feelings that you obviously have.

This is something you should really discuss at your next therapy session; why you feel so compelled to stop therapy.

You posted here on this topic for a reason. My guess is that you know on some level this is something that you need to talk to someone about or think about carefully. This site or other forums can not provide the same kind of one-on-one feedback that you get in a therapy session. You need to line up some substistute first before ending your sesssions.

Dear Wishful ....

If you are in college, there is an emergency student counseling hotline you can call, explain that your current therapist has repeatedly indicated that she considers you to have problems she cannot deal with in therapy

Tell them that your self-esteem has taken a real beating and your depression has worsened to the point to where you are afraid you may have to drop out of college....

And tell them that you ARE on a waiting list for another therapist... but you are still seeing this therapist because she keeps making new appointments and you don't know how to get out of therapy without hurting her feelings --- but at the same time, you are sure you HAVE to be having weekly contact with SOMEONE - that you can't go cold turkey, because then you WOULD crash and burn. And HAVE to drop out of college.

Ask them if there is any way they can bump you up on a waiting list or find someone who could take an extra, at least til a permanent therapist opens up.

This is what I would do or what I would advise my very best friend to do. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to reach out. And you call that hotline as much as you need to. Okay?

Teri