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Personality Changes
I am a much different person now than I was when I was diagnosed eleven years ago. I don't view it as a bad thing. I don't know whether to attribute it to PD or finally growing up, or both.
Probably the change I like the most is that I am no longer a busy-body. Previously I had to know the 411 on anybody and everybody. Now unless it is something that affects me or my spouse and children directly (and it never is), I don't care. I would religiously read the gossip websites (esp. Page Seven.) Recently I bought a People Magazine to read on a long flight and I found myself just skimming through the pages, not caring to read about these people whom I don't know. It just seemed silly. As for friends, relatives and acquaintances, I keep the gossip-mongers and crazy-makers at a distance now. I don't want to hear the dirt on anybody. I don't let myself get sucked into their chaos anymore either. And I learned how to say NO to those people who thoughtlessly took my time, attention and energy away from my life and my husband and children. I can't get that time back, but I can stop it from happening ever again. To be blunt, I wasted alot of time on people who didn't deserve it. My life is quiet and settled now, which is necessary because so much of my energy goes into dealing with the advancing pd. They don't understand. They say I've changed, that I'm not the same person I was. And they are right. |
Yam ... I can identify with
a lot of what you say. The great blessing of PD to myself is the time it has given me to spend with my family and I feel it has made me a nicer person. I too am less quick to anger, more patient and interested in others. On the other hand it is not all sweetness, I find myself intolerant of those I feel have brought suffering on themselves through their own actions, or those with drug addictions. My reasoning is that I did not bring PD on myself, and would give anything not to be dependent upon drugs so why should otherwise healthy people throw their good fortune away. I also find myself unable to accept religion (except Buddhism). I find it hard to believe if there is a God that he would have "invented" PD and bequeth such a suffering on us all.
Apologies to those who gain comfort from religion, no offense intended. This wasn't a point to debate merely a description of the changes PD has brought on myself. I can imagine for some PD has made religion more important. Nice post Yam. Neil. <Spread the word before the word spreads you> |
I didn't notice
My son (kindly) mentioned that I don't get angry much anymore, and when I do, I don't stay angry for very long. I didn't realize this about myself, but it is true. Partially because emotional upset, anger, stress, etc., burn through my available dopamine in a hurry. And I will do anything to avoid unnecessary offs. So I find myself trying to stay with a more even temperament than in my in my younger days of more plentiful dopamine. Along with a more even temperament came more patience.
PD cured me of being a people-pleaser. I can say no to people without feeling guilty. Even to those who specialize in guilt hand-outs. This was very liberating for me. I identify with the line from the movie, The Bucket List: "i resist all beliefs. We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round." |
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