Ultra Rapid Cycling Bi Polar
 

I have now been diagnosed as URCBP which I am alarmed at yet not surprised at all as I think I knew this all along. However, what I did not know was all the research that I have since done on this particular diagnosis whose prognosis is not to clever shall we say. From statics that I have read in some of the Pyschiatry books there is a 38% recovery rate for good maintenance level.

The rest leading to showing high levels of morbidity which I have and high mortality meaning in laymans terms high risk of suicide. Having failed four attempts one most recent with a post thread not to far from this I think you will find, we have joked at the psychiatric hospital that I am not very good at it, but this is no joke.

When I am well and everything is ticking along nicely suicide is the last thing on my mind but to be verging on the plummet to taking that overdose and then find yourself swallowing those tablets unable to do it quick enough holds a great fear for me. As I do know my enemy too well and it scares the hell out of me.

I have asked my pdoc if he is able to correct this imbalance or has confidence in being able to do so and he says that he has 100% - I am powerless as he has all the control which leaves me scared as hell if it doesn't work. I am in a very frightening place right now I guess would be my summation.

Boxer

Hi there
 

Dear Boxer,

it is good to know you are on the road to recovery. i don't have many words but can i send you some hugs? ((( Boxer ))). your fright is understandable but things can be all right. really.

i used to rapid cycle ... it started with Paxil. these past years my cycling has slowed... these patterns CAN change. next to the unexpected "free fall" dives in the space of hours, the toughest part of rapid cycling for me was not knowing were the heck i was gonna be in a few days. plans... hah!

But have hope my dear. r/c and ur/c is medically less manageable, but those are statistics. It CAN improve. Even if the cycles are still short, attenuating their depth will help a lot. the meds are a challenge ... what i started doing was really frequent tweaks. i still do that with my SSRI.

geez i only thought i'd drop a line but i guess i'm not happy till i get a scrollbar in the edit window. sigh.

take heart. it can be done. the wingy wangy slam dunk thing can be tamed.

~ waves ~ wishes you well

I am so glad to hear from you today boxer.
I was wondering how you were doing.
I think we all have had to just let go and trust our doctors...whether we like it or not...does that make sense?
I do believe that most people really do just want us to get better.
(((HUGS))))
thanks for checking in with us.
bizi

Boy - did I make a BOO BOO post!!!
 

Dear Boxer (and anyone else who may have read my post earlier this evening).

I read Mari's post about graduating from support boards like this one -- but then (somehow) ended up addressing my reply to tYOUR thread by accident. My error.

But I DO have the same diagnosis as you do --- and I would MUCH rather be a rapid cycler than not. I feel I am VERY lucky -- even if it makes me seem flakey or weird to otehrs... :D

Dear Boxer,
I know very little about your new dx.
I do know that it helps to have a new pdoc and a new plan. Keep the faith that he can help you.

I'm betting that you will get well.
mari