Why should I stay here longer if I dont want to ?
 

Sorry, one of those days when I feel my life doesnt have any sense at all...

Why does God still want me to be here ? Why cant He show me which is my purpose in this life ?

Why do I need to stay ?

I dont want to be here anymore... I dont know why God doesnt understand that.

Hey there Majo,
I can't answer your questions about your faith, but I know that when I've been really down and thinking that it's all too hard and lonely to go on, I try to find something to do with myself.

Often I'll go dig in the garden or check out the ocean and realize that there's so much power and beauty out there. Think of all that you've achieved with your studies and your amazing job where you'll be able to do so much in the future to prevent illness or to find an answer to the mysteries of certain diseases.

I know you're sad and lonely and want a family of your own, but those things sometimes come at different times in our lives. We don't all find a partner when we're very young and have a family. The thing is that even after you do find your soul mate, it doesn't mean that is when a life of happiness begins. We need to feel happy and strong before we actually contemplate a family because it's a commitment for life. It's hard work but it is rewarding.

Think to the future if you can. Think of all the good things you can do in your life. One day you may like to travel. There's a whole huge wonderful world of opportunities out here. :hug:
Hope you feel happier very soon.
One step at a time.

I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it.

I want to have lived the width of it as well.

~Diane Ackerman~

One reason is that you are here for us!!!

You are the one there a few weeks ago when I needed help more than anytime in the last 20 years.And even though I didn't tell you how serious the situation was-I told you I needed encouragement and you gave it to me and kept writing back to check on me.

I am sure there are countless people who gain from your friendship-and I am sure you do not realize how much you mean to them-or how much you add to their lives.

(((Majo))):hug:

Blue
 

You are here for a reason. You are part in the eternal plan that God has in mind.

Even in times like this,when we feel confused,and fragmented,God has all of the broken pieces of our life. He is the potter,and we are the clay. Sometimes we are not going to know what is going on.

Like a seed planted in the ground,roots are growing,and the flower is about to bloom.

In all of our brokeness,God is creating us for good things to come.

He wants us to comfort the afflicted,and sooth the broken hearted. BF:hug::hug::hug:

There is a reason behind any trial Blue, whether small, or enormous. Many times we are not given the reason, nor should we think we should be. God knows the whole picture. We don’t. Even if we don't know the reason for trials until we reach Heaven, we can be certain that there is one.

I am not a person who sweetly accepts my trials. Any time major life changes are flung at me, I have an instinct to duck. Life has held such painful changes, that I don't want to try to catch a new one and be blind-sided. I fear change. So normally I withdraw, miss, and it falls at my feet, or hits me in the head.

Life has been an unpredictable experience. I have felt like I was climbing a mountain, and continually falling down a longer distance than I managed to climb. But I am still alive, because God wants me to be here. I am His beloved child, and I'll be here until it is His time for me to go. And so are you Blue. :hug:

Exhaustion is a trial to me. I have dreams and nightmares about the past, and even though I do take medicine, I often cannot sleep. I am not emotionally ready to face a new day with weariness.

I am only a human being. I understand that God is far, far above me, in knowledge, wisdom, and love. I am willing to let God be God. He knows the reasons, and that's enough for me. In Heaven, where there are no more trials, and no more tears, I will know a joy that is far above any possible on earth. The greatest joy of all I can imagine will be God's pleasure in me.
The way in which we endure trials, is certainly noticed and remembered by God.

For every grief, for every trial,
for every weary, lonely mile,
there is a reason.

For every pain that we must bear,
for every sorrow, every care,
there is a reason.

But if we trust God as we should,
all will work out yet for our good,
God knows the reason.

My mom taught me this poem, it says it all. The author is unknown.

(((Blue))) this too shall pass. It's hard to make it through these times. I guess I'm somewhat like dear ((BJ)) only I don't duck...I throw up a proverbial body shield. :hug:

Thank you a lot dear all for taking the time to read and more important, to reply and share with me beautiful thoughts :hug:

It is just extremely hard for me to live without a reason.... Every morning when I open my eyes, Am like, hum... what for ? I mean, I have no family.... I dont need money to take care of my family, as I dont need money, I dont need to "fight" for a job....

I work at the lab and Im like, hum, what for ? I dont have a reason.... that's it. I have like zero motivation.... :(

Also, I think I have a big problem... Im too obssesed with things... I mean, if I start to paint as a hobby, I end painting 100 different pictures so I dont eat or sleep in the whole day... If I get involved listening to music, I fall in love with the singer :rolleyes: and feel depressed because he doesnt even know Im in this planet... :( If I plan to travel, I get obssesed and want to make 10 trips in the same year, and when I cant, I feel sad and dont want to get out of bed....

How crazy and annoying is that !? At this point I dont know if it is better for me to have a hobby/motivation or not as I will get too much into it and that will give me trouble at the end... :( :mad:

WA !!! HELP PLEASE....

Blue
 

I deeply understand what you are saying. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,among other mental health conditions. Hang in there. BF:hug::hug::hug: