DS lost his doggie. I had to be a bad guy
 

My DS has been living with his g/f since December, and when he left his rental house that he shared with several other bachelors he left behind his dog. The new landlord said NO! g/f has a dog, AND a cat, and they have a ONE animal policy. One of the guys at the pad said "leave him here, we will handle him." next month same guy moves on, and dog is left behind. I have been advising my son to adopt out that dog. He had only adopted him two months before he moved out. The BP guys (bachelor pad) said Dude, come get your dog! over and over. The dog spent most days alone, and while the guys did feed him, it wasnt the same as being owned by someone. The landlord of the BP gave the NO MORE PETS speach and told them to clear out all the nonsense. They had wild cats, stray dogs, a pot belly pig, and lizards, snakes and so on. I guess the neighbors complained, and the dog warden was called out. Either come get the dog by Monday or Tuesday you face us taking the dog to the pound. The dog was unregistered, no tags, and behind on his shots.

DS and teeny g/f went to get the dog with NO idea of where this dog was going to live. g/f is 80 pounds soaking wet. Dog is 110, and strong. While DS was begging for one of the guys to take on this dog, or a friend of theirs to take it, g/f clips on the leash to lead the dog out. Dog bolts into the road and smacked by a car. Vet said greater than 2k in surgery may or may not fix this animal, and g/f is crying because she was on the leash when the dog bolted. panic phone calls begging for money to save this animal were made. my questions were simple.

will this surgery save this dog?
will this dog have a home when its over?
Will anyone be able to stay home and rehab this dog?
Can they afford its medicine and continuing care for recovery?
Will they be evicted from current place if they bring this dog home?
Will current guys at BP take this dog?
Even if saved, they still need all its shots, and tags to be paid for.

ALL were no. I had the horrible task of explaining to my son that this animal needed to be put down. He sobbed like a 3 year old. If it was just a matter of money, I would have laid double the amount on him. I had to explain about the concept of tomorrow to these grieving kids that even if we saved this animal today, it was still homeless, badly injured, and probably wouldnt live through surgery, only to leave them with a huge vet bill, and an eviction notice. let alone someone losing a job when they keep calling out sick to stay home to care for this animal. My son lives 2 hours away, and the vet said without surgery it would surely die, and even with surgery if it lived, would be severely injured, and need many months of rehab, and probably more surgies in the future.

How do you tell a child even if he is a grown man that he must put his doggie to sleep? My heart simply cracked open, and exploded. Now I am playing the second guessing game.


Should I have paid for the animal and taken it in my home? DH says NO!
Should I have given him the money even though it was a lost cause?

I spoke to the vet, who offered to just put the doggie to sleep, and said if it was his son, he would advise the same thing.
Should I have given them the money to fix the dog AND a new apartment?
Could I have spared him one minute of heartbreak?

Bah, nothing was going to work. I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever had to do with him. I had to tell him no.

You did the right thing. You KNOW you did. Somebody has to be the grown up.

I'm so sorry you had to be put in this position and having to make that kind of a decision. You made the right decision. Even if the dog survives the initial surgery, he was in a for a long and painful recovery plus being homeless. I know that makes me sound heartless but sometimes letting them go is better for the animal.

You did the right thing. We can sit and think about could of, should of, would of but in the end that dog would have suffered due to the fact that no one could care for him.

You did the right thing Dej, you were the grown up and someone had to be as mentioned. :hug:

When my cat fell and broke his leg, they said 2 thousand and a vet specialist could fix him. I had 2 kids, one income, asked how much to put him down. Lady vet whispered to me "take him home. keep him quiet". I quit my job (which I wanted to anyway),. watched over him and he got better. But within a year he got hit by a car and died. Sometimes someone has to be the grownup.

You gave him the best advice, Dej. I know it had to be terribly hard, but you thought the whole situation through clearly and told him what you thought best. Please don't feel like the bad guy. I know it had to be heartbreaking for your DS, his gf and you. :hug: Sorry you all had to go through this.

Thank you! :)

I saw my DS and he was in a much better frame of mind. I pulled him and the g/f to the side, and asked if they understood why I said what I said, and why I asked them to do what I asked them to do. Both agreed, after a night of fitful sleep, and hours behind them of discussing it, that I was absolutely right. They were just too emotional to see it last night, and too afraid to make that hard choice. It is wonderful to go through the door screaming "do whatever you need to, and dont worry about the cost." but you have to be able to back that up. My DS hugged me and thanked me for being so strong for him, when he couldnt be. I took a tiny bite out of him, and told him that had he followed through and done the right thing for that doggie MONTHS ago, none of us would have lost sleep last night. He hung his head and agreed.

Thanks for the support. I am feeling much better about it now. :grouphug:

Four times, I spent small fortunes to fix and rehab my beloved poodle - who had a home and me to care for her.

The fifth time, it would not have cost but a few bucks, but she did not have a good prognosis. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, to put her down.

I did it FOR HER.

It was not about me, or money or a place for her to live, it was all about respect.

If You had nothing else to consider, would you have done the same thing, Deb? I think so. And I think it's because you give a damm not just about your son, but even about that other creature. Any creature. You're a good person.