The rivers of our experience
 

"Often, as a survivor, we feel like the pain is so intense and so permanent that we will never laugh or have a good life again. This isn't true, so please hold on tight to your hope that things will get better for you. I was so sure thart I would never laugh again, or even smile a sincere smile again, after my son's death.

I can now tell you that I have reclaimed my life. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I had many days that I struggled with thoughts of joining my son because I knew I could not live with that unbearable pain for the rest of my life. I just didn't believe it would ever get better.

For those of you that are in that place now, please trust me when I say that it is not a permanent thing. You too, will come to a day, very slowly, where you will begin to feel a little of that "old you" come alive again, and hope will slowly begin to spring up. It's a slow process, for healing is just that - a process. We have so many issue to work through and come to peace with: the why's, that horrendous guilt that seems to have a choke hold on so many of us at first, and the many, many unanswered questions."

Finding Your Way after the Suicide of Someone you Love

Authors David Biebel, DMin, & Suzanne L. Foster, MA

Louise Wirick lost her 27 year old son to suicide in 1998 and she described all those feelings perfectly in this book. It takes a seemingless endless amount of time to get through it but you will. :grouphug: