New Member - mom of adult daughter with bipolar and addicition problems
 

Hello,
I have a 31 yr. old daughter who is bipolar and has addiction problems. This started in HS and she had a son in her senior year. She moved to NC when her son was 3 to live with a man who she knew less than 3 months. Thank God, this guy turned out to be so good. She seemed to be doing well down there - getting married, holding a job, being a mother, but about 3 years ago things started to go down hill. Since then she has been a mess - on drugs, lying, stealing things to sell for drugs, left her husband, totally self absorbed. She checked her self into a psych center after getting a DUI, but then checked herself out after 3 days - I think all of this was for the benefit of the judge. She had a blow machine on her car, which she drove while drinking - again checked herself in and stayed 5 days this time. She moved back home to try and straighten herself out - her son stayed in NC. Seemed to be working on things, but would not get out of a relationship with a man who she did drugs with in NC. He moved to OH and she spent most of her time there, only coming back for doctor's appt. about her meds. One night after both of them got high on alcohol and drugs, he beat her and put her into the hospital. She came home because of the PFA order, but still kept in
touch. She was very unstable and the kicker came when I found out she was pregnant and stole a family member's unused credit card to have an abortion.
She said she couldn't come to me for money because I am so prolife.

I kicked her out of the house and believe it or not, her husband let her move back there - although just to give her a place to live, not to get back together. Now she's crying all upset about the abortion.

My reason for being here? I think what she needs more than anything right now is tough love. So far, everyone else in the family has gone out of their way to help her, but she doesn't put forth any real effort to help herself. Everything is too -o-o-o hard, she says. We keep on thinking that she's hit bottom, and then she ends up sinking even lower. Her son is so angry with her he can barely be in the same room with her. She keeps on saying she is always hurting those she loves.

Anyone else ever been there - on either of our sides - and how did you handle it?

It may help to know that her father is also bipolar and she had to grow up walking on egg shells and watching him tear the family apart.

I'm open to suggestions.
beejay

Hi, and welcome. Here is one of our forums where you might find some information:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum80.html

Not my area of "expertise" (as if I have one), but just wanted to welcome you. You'll find lots of support here!

Hello beejay and welcome to NeuroTalk! Sorry you have to be here but you’ve found a great place for support and understanding. Join in wherever you feel comfortable. We’re happy you’ve joined us!

http://i489.photobucket.com/albums/r...llotcmouse.jpg

Hello beejay, and welcome to NeuroTalk! This is such a great place with lots and lots of friendly and caring people.

I am sorry you are going through all of this with your daughter. I hope someday things with her will get better.

Please feel free to have a look around, and post wherever you feel most comfortable. Hugs to you for all you've gone through. :hug:

welcome

So sorry you and your family have had all these problems. May you all find peace...

Hi you are definately in a hard place. Personally I'm glad that her husband allowed her to come back to him. I'm of the opinion it maybe that he is the only one that can get through to her. It sounds so weird but when a person has bipolar at times its the person that has helped to make them stable that can work with them the best.

I realize how much you want to be there for her too. And how hard it is.

I have a grown son that had issues that were so close to bipolar but he has been on medication since 16 and is doing well. He is now 26 going on 27.

He is with a woman that has been his salvation at times. But also at times she gives him a hard time too. But he has a little boy that is 7 and he is good for both of them.

Keep hope for her, and look for a program or psychiatrist that can get through to her.

If you need to talk come to the bipolar forum. We are pretty active and we understand. And will listen.

Donna