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-   -   Husband (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/94035-husband.html)

dogodlvr 07-17-2009 04:46 AM

Husband
 
Anyone else have insensitve pain in the butt spouses? Mine told me last night that just because I have a problem now, dosen't mean I should make his life miserable... wow, what does he think I am trying to do? He feels I am obcessing about being Bipolar...really? I am trying to understand it. He is angry that I have not done much housework... he really dosen't get it, and I don't think he wants to. When he's being such an *** I don't think I can get him to read anything, Ever consider being homeless and living in a box? Sounds good to me right now... except for no internet! Honestly if it were not for my grrandchildren I would be out of here. I know its hard, I just want someone to care and not treat me like I am TRYING to ruin their lives. I really just needed to vent. I need my docs and they have not called me back this week either, I feel abandoned.

waves 07-17-2009 06:51 AM

I do understand... no husband here, but family.
 
Dear Pam,

I am sorry you are suffering not only with your illness but because of lack of compassion and understanding around you. :hug:

I am glad you decided to check in here and tell us about what is happening. Hopefully your docs will call back too... if not... call them again. Docs have a way of having too much on their plates and getting absent minded (at least i know a few that way). It does make one feel abandoned, on top of the other stuff. That is the worst feeling!

LOL on your thought about living in a box... except no internet. You know i have thought the same thing at time. My housemates (relatives) sometimes dig into me at really bad times. They have tried to educate themselves, so I cannot fault them, but they have not gone the step further... literature suggests some therapy for family members, and mine - after trumpeting loudly about it at first - abjectly refuse whenever i bring it up. Unfortunately a lot of family members (spouses and other) just do not get bipolar. It is a tough thing to get. Of course, when someone refuses to read or in some way educate themselves about the illness, that is even worse.

You do mention your grandchildren. Enjoy them, and try to fill your mind and heart with their love. Sometimes we have to look at whatever good we have and try to focus on it real hard, to make it through the icky stuff.

I hope you can get in touch with your docs, and that you can get your husband to come around somehow. One thing i would do - perhaps ask your therapist about how to broach it with hubby - is perhaps suggest he come for a few joint sessions to help him understand. Then he can vent in a mediated setting, and your therapist will help him understand more actively. It is easier to put a book down. (But also, if you have never bought him a book, you might do that too. Trying won't hurt.)

How is work going?

Keep posting. We want to know how you are.

:grouphug:

~ waves ~

befuddled2 07-17-2009 08:42 AM

Spouses, we can't live with them and can't live without them. I hope that your spouse will turn around and be more understanding.

barbara

Pamster 07-17-2009 10:21 AM

I understand, it's darn difficult to manage BP and the stress from an insensitive spouse. Mine is not as bad as yours in some aspects, but he's on this kick thinking I should get off ALL meds and that's just NOT going to happen. :p

I'm glad you can post with us and get some support, it sounds like you need some. :grouphug:

bizi 07-17-2009 11:03 AM

I like what has been said to you. It is very difficult for family memebers to understand our illness, it is hard for me to understand my illness...and I have been diagnosed for over 10 years.
thank you for posting and please keep us in touch, we are here to listen.
(((((HUGS)))))
beth


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