Feeling guilty. How would you cope with this terrible feeling !?
 

I really, really need your smart and kind words friends... :(

I feel so lost... I mean, I feel so guilty... the most terrible feeling Ive ever felt... I dont want anybody to feel this... is terrible... I cant focus, I cant solve my problems because, I feel guilty... :(

Let's put a hipotetic case...

Imagine you have acne... A mild case... but nobody likes your acne, of course, you want to get rid off it too... So, you decide to take those lovely medicines we have for acne... your acne disappear... but, now, your liver is not working properly... you will need special, expensive and uncorfortable treatment for the rest of your life, without knowing if the treatment for your liver will even work...

Wouldnt you feel guilty ?? wouldnt you be thinking all day long "why I took this medicine !?", "Why I didnt accept my acne ?", "why I didnt read more about this medicine ?", "why I didnt take care of my liver...?" "Why did I trust everybody when they said the results with this medicine were superb ?"

If you know how to stop feeling guilty, please, PLEASE, share with me your thoughts, books, docs, etc...

Im tired of this feeling... it has me sick in bed... it makes me look like dead all time...

I pray, I asked God to help me, but still... :(

Thanks !!!!! My heart is broken due to this feeling...

hey you,
i don't have much to offer on the topic as i deal with guilt too. but, you really are a beautiful person and we will help you through the hard times. i know i haven't been around much, but i'm still around to talk to. message me anytime.

the other thing is, the question of "what if" can go on FOREVER. and if you didn't do something, then something else in place could have happened...something better? maybe. something worse? maybe.

the chances of good and bad things happening are equally likely.

does that make sense? i'm not doing a very good job of explaining myself. sorry.

it's hard to cast judgment on choices you make because, no matter what the current outcome is, you don't know what the outcome would have been had you made a different choice.

all i know is that the choices you've made in the past have led you and I to meet eachother. so i feel pretty blessed. maybe if you didn't make those choices, that would never have happened.

try and get some sleep tonight

manda

In choosing treatment for the acne, you didn't do anything wrong. You were looking for a solution to a problem, and you made the best choice that you knew how to make. That it resulted in another problem doesn't mean that you did anything wrong.

Apparently, this guild is not helping you, right? Is it telling you anything valid that you wouldn't know without it? Is it motivating you to do something about the current problem?

You can't go back and choose to live with the acne in order to avoid the liver problems, right? If you could, maybe you would be second-guessing that or feeling guilty for not doing anything about it.

So what options are you left with now? Deal with the current situation as effectively as possible, or ignore it, or put your energy into guilt and worry. Anything I'm missing?

If you are not doing anything wrong, keep on doing what you are doing.

Guilt is a familiar friend to most if not all of us here in this forum. The what if's and why's are a companions that sit with us either silently or noisily most of the time.

I guess it is one of the endless quests - to accept life as it is and do the best with what we have - and to find joy in it regardless of the regrets or outcomes.

Life is a path full of choices. When we come to a fork in the road ,we must make the best choice at the time with what we know and then keep walking forward. The point is to keep walking and then look at the beautiful things along the road and find joy.

I am sorry that your are consumed with the "if only's" right now. Don't stop your journey, whatever the path and make the most of the beauty and the gifts that are in you while you walk.

Dear Manda (Twin !), dear Rapunzel and dear Spanish Moss....

Thank you so much, I mean, thank you so much with all my heart and soul for taking the time to reply my post :hug: You are very kind.

Thank you so much for the advices and all your support. I really, really appreciate your posts.

Thanks ! :hug:

i was wondering when you'd show your pretty face around here again :)

hi mayo..

"how to stop feeling guilty"

I often ask myself that myself...

when I was younger, it was all about hurting myself whenever I'd feel guilty.

in some cultures, they magnify guilt by embarassing those that feel guilty...

when I got a little bit older, I projected my guilt onto others, I tried to make them feel guilty so I won't feel so guilty...but then, only to feel even more guilty myself yet again..

in learning and searching out life....I have found out one thing, it's ok to feel guilty...just NOT to the degree where it consumes you...

perhaps in that guilt, you also feel some self-pity. Acne problem is one of those self-image things that we all are very cognizant and sensitve about/of.

so it might be a mix of guilt, self-pity, resentment, anger, all mixed up along with feeling of being "had" (cheated)...

but as many have said, you must deal and face with the NOW...what's done is done and you cannot look back...but you can let it serve as a lesson that you will try not to repeat again..

and the first thing you have to do, is stop beating yourself up so much...

that void inside you is saying all the wrong things to you...the emptiness inside you is trying to tell you that you are not wanted nor needed and you need to tell it to go somewhere where the sun don't shine

I hope you will see in you what we see. A bright, beautiful person that has a wonderful heart.

in all your guilty posts, I sense a common theme.

you don't like yourself very much...boy, do I understand that feeling...I am still working on liking myself, as well...

but I really have learned that if I don't like myself, nobody else will...because I will end up pushing everyone away...because if I don't like myself, how can I expect others to like me??

when you can't sleep tonight, and you are sitting by the puter and you feel like shedding buckets of tears because of how lonely you feel...

remember, you are never alone and as lonely as you think you are....

"THEY" (the beasts) will lie to you...they'll drag you down with them....

come to the place where people don't judge you and don't care what you look like...

and read...and open your heart and soak up some love...

((((HUGS))))

((((((((((Moi))))))))))

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Ive missed you tons !!! (Like everybody else I guess...)

Thank you for taking the time to reply with your wise comments, suggestions and advices... you are so sweet, kind and wise to be true :hug: