NeuroTalk Support Groups - Now What? I have Lost The Battle!

I go this alone pretty much everyday... Almost 6yrs now. I know that is nothing in the big picture of this monster.

I have lost more battles than I can remember... The war... now that's still yet to be determined.

Do I want to give up and walk away from this hell? Sure... many times everyday. Why don't I?? Because I'm more worried about the hell and pain it would put family and friends through.... but it is there and the thoughts, plans, actions are very real.

I had no medical insurance and was unable to seek medical treatment for the last four years of this monster... I recently obtained medical coverage and am now beginning to find out what this monster is doing to my body... It's scary...but I have to keep going for the same reason as above---if I quit that's how family will remember me...

I don't have many friends and RSD has taken many away... many people in my life just can't handle what this monster is doing to me and who, unfortunately, has changed me into... I am not the same person I was before this monster entered my life.

I had to move back in with family as living alone is not a viable option at the present time.

Going from a very active, physically fit woman to someone that has to ask for help to get out of bed... if no one is around... It often takes many minutes to hours for me to push myself up... just to have to crawl to the bathroom and then lift myself up. Not a pretty picture I know... but it's real.

I read everyone's stories and continue to be amazed at how everyone here comes together to support each other... With this I know I am not alone...

I don't talk much on this forum... but I do read and care for all of you... my brother's and sister's who also fight this war.

:hug:gentle hugs to all...
Abbie