I have to ask..when RSD gets you down..where do you dream of re-treating to????? When you are forced to make life long changes in your life and others around you, your support system just carry on with their day...do you find yourself feeling sad or lost..best described as empty....

I have for a very long time thought of going to a mountain...a place where I can be alone and think..feel the warm breeze and even cry for myself...

Any of you have a place that you think about????

I send each of you, my friends a hug! KS

Not a mountain - that image is too cold for me!!!

I dream of a quiet, warm beach!! That's not too windy!!! Where it is peaceful and beautiful. And where I have no worries or anxieties or pain and my husband is with me.

XOXOX Sandy

My kids have a cabin in the mountains and I was just telling Susan yesterday to get me a key made for summer.

I do think of just getting away from everything quite often. You described how I felt today. I had a baby shower to go to and just couldn't pull myself up mentally enough to go.

I did take a walk though. The view from my walk is 60% surrounded by mountains and Bill and I spent many a day hiking, hunting, and picnicing in them.

The way I feel at times when I take my walk is that I just want to keep walking until I fall off the end of the earth. Crazy, huh?

It has nothing to do with what's going on in my life. Everything's fine right now, it's just my depression. Being disabled to me gives me a feeling of not belonging anywhere.

You are right about the support system carrying on with their day. My problem is I could have been with my support system today at the shower and chose not to. That's my fault.

I love the mountains and I do better in the cold but we have a dry cold here so that's better then the wet cold. Seeing those mountains give me the incentive to climb them.

Hope you start feeling better soon.

Ada

Hello Sandy and Ada...

I loved reading your posts.. Sandy, I understand the beach might be warmer..but in my thoughts..I need to be way up and I am not missed.. no cells phones allowed...and the crazy part is I am afraid of heights!! How am I getting there?? But it is my dream... like the Bucket list, is my so favorite movie, I can relate to it very well........ Anyway.. Ada, I understand your thougts on walking til you drop off the end of the earth, as I feel it too...it represents our sad.. lonely hearts and that unless people live with our saddness due to our health concerns, disabilities... they have no idea... no idea our disadvantage on life... so what they are busy and distracted by their daily routines..least they see people and have routines!!!

I think the world of you all.... KS

Maui Hawaii....I think about the Aloha spirit and relax. It's taken me a year to learn to live with RSD and my family is learning too. If by some miracle I go into remission, RSD has taught me how to slow down and don't sweat the small stuff. I love this board, because I know I am not alone. Some days I get upset and feel like I don't belong anywhere, so I come here. If I hadn't found this site I don't think I would be as well adjusted right now.

Dear ladies,

This illness has the ability to demoralize our mind, body and soul. You all have a wonderful place to go and you should go there. Just close your eyes take some deep breaths and imagine that you are there and you will be.

For me, I visualize a long winding road surrounded with trees and lively animals. I love to walk, so I imagine that I am walking down this road surrounded with nothing but peace and unconditional love. I love to watch the animals, I listen to the birds, the squirrels, the deer, the owls, carrying on with their lives. They do not fear me, they do not run, they just carry on. I always include a bench along the side of the pathway, where I can sit and rest, and there is where I talk to God, and sometimes I just listen.

Ada, don’t worry about the baby-shower, I understand the mental challenge of trying to attend a family function. I have forced myself to attend such family functions, the anxiety, the fear, the pain, but I would go and only stay an hour or so (that was the best I could do), and I still got criticized for not staying long enough. I do not worry about those things anymore. I, you and probably everyone one else who is inflicted with this condition do the very best that we can do in a day and that just has to be enough because it’s all we got! Don’t beat yourself up over something that you cannot change. Be patient with yourselves, climb that mountain and enjoy the serenity that it produces, enjoy the warm breeze on the beach and take that walk (no walking off the face of the earth) just enjoy the walk.

God bless you all, I wish you all peace and serenity.

Jeanie

Thank you all!

I have very much enjoyed your journeys and shared them with you! We all need to find our peace...Rest, my friends. We deserve it!

Sometimes I really battle with hurting everyone around me, their feelings ie..family, friends in that I need outlets but I am afraid to let them know that..and to isolate myself from them... then other times, due to my RSD I am so darn needly of their support, time and love... there is no satisfying me..I guess how can we make sense of our emotions on this illness rollercoaster then how can anyone else make sense of it????

One day I will make it to my mountain.. air kift..as my RSD is the worst in my rt. leg... it won't just be in my dreams... I hope we can all live out our dreams before we are not able to..

Did you hear/read that our life expectance is a bit shorter than the norm due to the chronic pain??? I read 3-5 decades... kinda hard to do the math when I am really not sure exactly when my RSD began..as not I look back, I had symptoms long, long ago...


I love my family here....KS

Good morning Everyone

I know that depression you speak of well...and identify with the need to avoid certain crowds of people. My support system has become smaller, by choice. I can't explain it. My husband's family, who are from RI, make me nuts with their stares and rude questions, so I stay away from them. I think that they are waiting for my affected body parts to fall off or something!! Also noise hurts my ears and my husband's family tends to be very loud when they get together in a group. It's so painful!!

My family all lives far away from me - South Jersey, SE PA, Dover Del, etc. So my immediate support comes from my husband and my neighbors. Sometimes I cry just because I am lonely for my family. When my kids are finished with school we may move to the mid Atlantic area so I can be near them. An added bonus would be that the better docs for RSD are there, also.

Because I have lived in the East all my life I've never seen the Rocky Mountains, except in pictures (I have flown over them - they go on forever!). I understand that they are truly beautiful beyond belief. One day I hope to be able to see them for myself.

I hate Mondays - when my husband returns to work, the kids are off to school, and I am all alone in the house ("cave") playing the waiting game with WC....

Thanks for your posts, XOXOX Sandy

Sandy...

I hope this helps you by me saying that you are not alone..by any means.. why today so far I have carried the dang phone in my bathrobe pocket and into the shower with me waiting for my disability rep to call and give me hear updated blessing .... OGH!! So many people here have said ... just invite her to lunch and let her see me!!!!

I know a big part of RSD is loneliness... Even if we chose not to build that big wall around us..RSD seems to separate us from the world in that our "needs" are different and we are not as socialy able as we once were... I go in waves as I am a people person... I miss my work for that reason but at times I'd rather have just a solo one on one and share my sadness.. but that always has to be scheduled and it doesn't work that way...

Some how some way..I firmly believe after the red tape and it is al said and done with...We will be looking down knowing that this happened for a reason..we were given a different route to follow and RSD was our means to get there....

btw..tell the in-laws to quiet it down a tad in your presence... just this weekend, I opted to drop out of a visit to mine as the ride is just too much for me.... so they called and bugged me.. can't win!!!

KS