Hi friends, I will be traveling to see my daughter in about a week and a half, I have not seen her since Christmas. My concern is how to mask how much sicker I have gotten since then. My pain meds do not seem to be giving me much relief anymore, and that nasty little heart problem has popped up since then. I do not want her to worry since she lives so far away, and want this to be a really good visit. Any hints on this would be appreciated. My son lives close by,so I have set up all my legal things so that he will be able to take care of things when he needs to (he is a lawyer), but I really just want my daughter to not worry, she recently had another very difficult miscarriage and has enough on her plate. I am also worried about the plane trip with all of that cool air circulating around and having to sit still in it. Any hints would be greatly appreciated! Thanks, Lisa

Hi. I hope you can have fun with pain free times and enjoy seeing your daughter. I understand how you don't want to worry her but I also feel this could take a toll trying to be better then you are. Maybe you can just focus on doing the best you can in the situation. I have RSD and my mom can tell even if I don't say anything how I feel. I am not sure if it is a mom thing or what. I do know with my mom though I can tell when she has a health problem if she does not say. I have always told her I would rather know what is going on then always wonder and fear she is keeping something from me. I am not sure if that makes sense. I think it also depends on how close you are. You could even maybe say if she says something that you dont want her to worry with all she is facing. I am sorry about her loss too. As for the plane. I have traveled so much with this condition. A few things that have helped. One is to take a wheel chair to the gate and then back to the luggage. Get up during the ride a few times. Eisle seat so you don't have to climb over people and it seems more roomy. Bring a hoodie or extra layer cause the plane is cold. Make sure the blower is not on you. I turn mine off. I hope you can enjoy your trip and you feel better

I was flying weekly during the month of May to get my ketamine infusions. The first thing I always did when getting on the plane was turn the blower off. I always brought a hooded jacket and wore comfortable capris and a knit top. Food can't be carried on board unless it is purchased in the airport, but I managed to stuff some healthy granola bars in my bags that got through security and always bought water on the other side (Dunkin Donuts, if you can find one, usually had the best price).

I LOVE the beach, the warmth of the sun and the sound of the surf is just awesome therapy. Try to Enjoy!!! Bring your meds and use them when needed. Keep you head out of the wind (wrap it up or turn your chair). Go to bed early to get a lot of rest. And eat as many healthy foods as you can to keep your strength up.

Keep a positive outlook - there is a really god chance that you will do well on this trip!! Summer is generally a good time for us.

XOXOXO Sandy

Dear Lisa....

I am so happy for you in that you will be seeing your kids soon..I have to agree with Daniella as..please..take the stress away of trying to hide or not be your current self around them...They love you as you are..they want to be part of what your handling and your condition..Even your daughter who is handling a bunch now..she'll appreciate you sharing everything with her and go forward from there...Just take that stress away and don't worry..Have a safe fun great trip..I agree bring that hoodie..and sunscreen... Aveeno spray..wonderful!!! My family here introduced me to it!!!!!

Love ,Kathy

Hi Lisa,
That's great that you're going on a vacation to refresh and renew your outlook, and spend time with your son and daughter!!
I have a great love and appreciation for the ocean and go there as often as I can because it so so regenerating!

Rather than trying to make a decision now as to how to approach your RSD with your daughter, try and relax and take it moment by moment...circumstances will decide for you how to relate to eachother.
My daughter is 27 and she senses how I am feeling even over the phone...

I recall that your daughter had gone through some difficult times from your posts of several months ago..I think it brings people closer together to share the good in eachothers lives and also the challenges..Honesty and naturalness is always the best...
Try and focus on the happiness of being together without having to mask any difficulty you might be having..your daughter may gain strength and a sense of giving help and love by comforting you if you need it!
Have a restful and beautiful trip!
Hope4thebest

Lisa,
I agree with everyone. You are of course your Daughter's Mom. (duh) but, you do have a right, (and, perhaps responsibility?) to show her life, as you know it. She wants to know you! As you are!
(Hey, I just turned 54 today, and, lost my father back in 92, my mother in 72.
My step mother is in very bad shape.
I WANT to know her better though! (She's in FLA, and I'm in PA).
She doesn't want to get on the phone any more, which leaves me with small options! Let me tell you, for me, it suks!

It's All life! And, you have a wonderful opportunity to pass on your wisdom! Do that, if you can? You don't want your daughter to be kicking herself later, right?
Have fun, Enjoy her! And, don't worry if some tears are shed!
God watches over Moms!

Just let it play out, and get as much as you can from it, and don't worry!
Enjoy some smiles with your daughter!
They're so priceless!
So, my advice is "Don't Mask Anything". Your Daughter has the right, to know you!
(Don't you think?)

I know that you're gonna do great, Lisa!

love,
Pete