My sons are almost carbon copies of their father in almost all of the really important things: sensitivity; empathy; a determination to be the best father they can possibly be.

That's true of Pat, who has three beautiful children; Sean is gay, but he would very much like to adopt; not likely in Sam Brownback's Kansas.

Anyway, this is about Pat. He accepted a better job in Western Kansas, depriving us of many opportunities to do grandparent stuff; like spoiling them rotten, filling them with candy, then sending them back to mommy and daddy who will have to deal with three kids bouncing off walls and ceilings for the next 24 hours. Even though we will miss the kids, we know they were an important part of his decision to move.

Their new school has a neat program in which parents are invited to have lunch with their kids in the cafeteria.

Eight year old Katelin, who is always bouncing around looking like she has to pee, or else (she doesn't really need candy), was delighted. Ten year old Sebastian (CB), loved the idea, but wanted to make sure his father arrived in his uniform.

12 year old Ben, however, was reluctant. He's at that age when having parents isn't cool. He definitely did not want to share lunch with his parents. Pat. loving father that he is (he was a boy once, he remembers), sadly accepted Ben's decision.

Lunch with Katie was all that you might expect: she bounced around in her chair just like she does on her feet. Did she come into the world with springs in her butt?

During lunch with CB, Pat noticed Ben; who was sitting with his friends and trying to pretend he made the right decision in refusing lunch with his parents. It was a touching sight; one that forced Pat to stand up, walk over to Ben, and kiss him on the forehead.

Later, when Ben was walking out, Pat wanted to reassure him that there were no hard feelings about his decision to forgo lunch: He called out; "Ben, I love you".

By the time Pat finished telling me this story, we were, of course, laughing like crazy.

My wife, who some years ago suspected I was having phone sex with someone (why else would he smile so much?), had become an expert at listening in on my phone calls without my knowing. She always turns the TV all the way down first, for example.

Anyway, she had been listening, and she wasn't happy: She began telling us that we were maliciously cruel and Pat had probably destroyed Ben's life. I interupted her to point out that she was being **** retentive again.

Besides, the only thing Pat did wrong was kiss Ben on the forehead. He should have kissed him square on the lips.

Well, that started her on another tirade, but when Pat began to talk, she went quiet to hear what he was going to say.

"I thought of kissing him on the lips" Pat said, "But I couldn't be that cruel. That's why you will always be the master. You have no conscience whatsoever".

We are both wondering who will give in an talk to him first: Ben or my wife. We should find out in two or three weeks...Vic

Thanks, Vic, what a great story
all the best!

Vic that is an awesome story!!

You just keep me in stitches bro!!

Poor kid wont get over that until he is at least 38 or so, and might decide to try it on his kids LOL.

I still like Pat's favorite story, he is a real character!

While I never had the opportunity to help Pat overcome some of lifes little speed-bumps is this specific way, he can, and does, offer stories of a similar nature.

My wife is wrong. Ben will not be hurt by this; he will be strengthened; just as my sons were. And he has learned one of life's valuable lessons: Don't **** daddy off unless you have already found someplace else to go to school.

i know it will be hard to be away from the grandkids, but you can keep in touch with them..........i will be going through the same separation with emily.......we will be moving south after frank is medically retired, so that will be tough................i know i will be burning up the wires.......lafff

the story of your son kissing ben is a hoot..........i remember when my kids were young, and they were not too fond of frank yet, and we would walk around the store...well, frank and i would be several feet behind the kids, and all of a sudden frank would start talking weird, making idiotic sounds, just anything to embarass the kids..........they were mortified, but we always laughed and so did other customers, just watching the faces on the kids...............too funny.

Hi Claudia,

Frank sounds like my kinda guy; except I don't limit myself to emotionally torturing kids.

My kids still tell the story of the day we wandered through a sale barn and I found the plastic imitation Wedgewood Jasperware bowl. Had it been real, I would have hidden the bowl beneath a pile of junk; my wife thinks collecting Jasperware is more important than feeding kids, and while I see nothing wrong in emotionally abusing them, I think its only fair to feed them.

But it wasn't real. My wife, however, didn't know that when I called out to her, raised the bowl so she could see it, then dropped it. I would not have believed that a human being could change facial expressions so many times during the short period it takes for a bowl to reach a floor.

But then, I would never have believed my wife would ever talk like that in public either. Perhaps "talk" is too mild a word. You get the idea.

I'm sure my kids stayed up nights discussing different ways to kill me. That I'm still alive because they lived with the hope that they could think of an even more painful way for me to die if they worked on it just a little harder. Today they love to tell stories about dad and what a funny guy he can be.

And, of course, try to create even newer and more innovative ways to make their children's lives miserable.

Honestly, I believe that if your children know you love them, they won't murder you...Vic

you are so right vicc.......i would love to have been a fly on the wall when your wife thought you broke that bowl.........

as long as the kids know you will do anything for them, and that you love them unconditionally, they will be fine..........and have tons of stories to tell later in life.....................

Kids are sooo fun to tease.

I would put the car on cruise control, then play like the car had a mind of it's own. Sure was fun watching them freak out about that lol.

To this day when I explain anything to them they are not sure if Im telling the truth, or some yarn. According to string theory...............

The grandkids are even more fun! Get to spoil them rotten, and grin real big when the kids start whining about what happened next.

This is a great thread!

The package arrived bro!!
Thanks much!!!

Great story Vic.. I would have loved seeing ben's face when Pat kissed him in front of his friends.. LOL I'm sure his friends have been totally embarrassed by their parents before, and kids are so resilient that they get over things like that.. I disagree with your wife wholeheartedly because if a kiss from your parents in front of your friends will ruin their life, then I'm sure we would all have our lives ruined..LOL


It is so good to see the humorous post from you, and i hope to see a lot more. It does help to focus on something other than the pain we all endure daily.

Love ya Vic,
Janet

I went deer hunting one year, and decided to take the 2 older boys and introduce them to the sport. The first morning they decided to stay in camp, which by the way was a campground. Not to my liking, but for the safety of the boys since they had never been in the woods.

Now these boys are my foster boys, and they never went to the woods in their entire lives. Anyways, I left early telling them I will be back in about 4 hours.

About 4 hours later as I am walking back to camp, I can hear my name being called by one of the boys. So I quicken my pace. As I approach the camp one of the other campers yells "Allen!", so I look that way, and they all start busting up laughing.

Come to find out the oldest thought maybe a bear ate me, and started worrying. He then began to wonder the campground yelling my name.
Well the entire weekend was great fun for the other campers, as they continued off and on to shout my name, and cause me to look over at them just to see them waving and laughing!

Never got a deer, but did entertain a bunch of deer hunters for a few days.