[Patti_Christmas]

I had my second epidural on Wednesday to try and settle down the RSD in my back and arms. It didn't do anything really. I feel like crap. Yesterday, I sent hubby and daughter out to give them a break. I was extremely crabby when they got home.

Hubby applied some Lidocane cream to see it that would help. Of course, I screamed while he was putting it on. That crap is super cold, which doesn't help. He was applying it very gently (as normal) and was putting some around the sides of my surgical site. I wanted to punch him, but fortunately, I was laying on the bed and couldn't get to him.

I just don't understand why all the pain around the site still. It's been since December, and I've been extremely careful not to bend, twist, lift, etc. My doctor said that patients with RSD tend to heal slower, but this is crazy.

I fought again with my insurance adjuster regarding the Compounded Pain cream doctor called in Wednesday morning. The pharmacy thought everything was set (as I did also) and was told to run the information through yesterday morning. Now the 3rd party pay system told them that they needed the actual prescription, office notes and reason that it was being prescribed from the doctor. Called the doctor's office, and they did receive the request, but wouldn't be able to get to it until before closing. Looks like I won't get the cream to try this morning. I explained to the adjuster that it was important to rush this, as it might help the injection to keep things "calm".

I am just so mad and hurting right now. I sent the kids out to do some painting for our local historical society. Hubby is napping again.

We actually fought last night. He kept saying that I didn't have this "monster huge" metal hard paddle, but that it was small and coated with a soft rubber. I tried to explain to him that might be the case of what is actually implanted, but it feels like a 6" knife blade that is stabbing constantly in my back, even when I breathe. We haven't spoken much since his "day out", which makes me even more upset. I thought he would appreciate his time out, he is/was a mechanic and he has a 1950 Kaiser project car. I thought they would get ideas, have fun, dreams, things to think/talk about other then me.

Is it me? Is it them? I feel so distant, I feel like a burden, I feel as though I am holding my family down/back. Is it the pain or is it my "head"? I want to tell my husband everything that is going on in my head, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of driving him away, making him angry. I get sick of "hearing" myself, but I can't get the crap out of my head.

I see the therapist at the Pain Clinic on Tuesday. I hope I have the opportunity to speak to her alone, but is that going to upset my husband?

Well, I'm going to attempt a shower. It's funny how the simple things that were once done alone is something that I miss. I love my husband, I know that he loves me, we used to "enjoy showering together", but now it's a chore. One that I wish I could do alone somedays, just like I want to drive again.

[daniella]

I am sorry about your pain and also family problems. I am right there with you on both. I don't live with my family but I was going to suggest for you maybe family therapy? I think both sides face major stresses and it is good to be able talk about how one feels and maybe work on ways to cope. I think when we keep things inside it causes anger etc.
As for your pain I am confused on what you had done so not sure what the course of treatment is. I know for my rsd area if I keep it too still the pain goes sky high. If I keep it too active it does too so it is about balance. I will also say that if someone rubbed the cream on my rsd area I would be in a flare up regardless of if the med would of helped. Even those patches I can't tolerate pain wise. Everyone is different though.
I hope you have a better day

[Patti_Christmas]

Hi Daniella,

My RSD started in my right leg (from knee down to toes) as a result of a car accident and surgeries in 2007. In Sept and Dec of 2010, I had a spinal cord stimulator implanted with hopes of helping the pain. Instead of helping the pain, it has caused RSD in my back, shoulders and arms.

I agree completely with you on the patches! They suck, and the presence of them are extremely painful. The lidocane cream helps a bit, once I get through the application process.

Hopefully today will be a better day.