[Patti_Christmas]

Well, I believe that I have experienced a crappy, crappy permanent stim placement, and for the first time since Sept I have a functional, clearer head!

I met with the counselor/shrink at the Pain Management Clinic today and completely unloaded. I even told her that this forum is by far more informative and supportive then the doctors, nurses or my Medtronics Reps (3 of them so far).

She was in complete shock when I told her how things were going, how the Sept surgery was a total failure, the doc put the stim under a stretch mark and it rotated and was sticking out (how the rep couldn't communicate with it and a different doctor in the clinic said I needed the 2nd surgery), and how I feel like a "number" for the device's company.

We also discussed how the latest cortisone injections aren't working, and how I was surprised to find out yesterday from the nurse that the doctor gave me a "bonus injection" (a slower acting cortisone). We talked about how no one has answers as to what is going on, what has gone on over the weekend, how my arms now feel heavy, how I had an "episode" this morning of queasiness, sweating, clamminess, dizziness and all the color in my face was drained. We talked about the fact that I couldn't even manage to get my hands to my mouth to feed myself this morning (hubby had to feed me, arms weren't working, very heavy feeling and I thought I was going to pass out. We thought it might have been because I needed to eat. This was at 8:00am). She told me at my appointment tomorrow (for re-programming) to get the answers to my questions, to insist on having the doctor SIT and talk to me, to not allow him to just rush out of the room and to NOT ALLOW any more injections. We also discussed the stim, the side effects, the chest wall sensations and she advised me to ask them about leaving it off for awhile to see if things settle down. Give my body more time.

I am in terrible pain right now, but I have my brain!!! I hope tomorrow's appointment leaves with answers or some idea as to what is going on and what to expect!