Krank,

There is still hope buddy. Us CRPS guys in MN have to stick together! This terrible six month winter that we've just gone through (and isn't giving up yet) certainly doesn't do much to help with our mood.

Find somebody that you can truly confide in. You need somebody that will listen. Not try to fix it, as you have obviously been trying to do that.

Trying to help some of the others on this forum can be therapy in and by itself.

One day at a time. Hang in there.

I know I am fairly new to the forum and to RSD (just recently diagnosed) and fortunately my pain is just in my neck/shoulder/arm area and has not spread yet. So I am not going to pretend that I understand what it's like to have full body RSD... as I can't. At the same time though I could just not read your post and not respond.

I am not going to try to offer you any suggestions on what treatments to try, nor am I going to pretend things will be better tomorrow for you. What I can offer you though is my ear if you need to scream, yell, vent or cry. Feel free to message me anytime if you need to just talk... even if it doesn't make sense...just let it out.

A few days ago I had the worst pain yet due to my RSD. Never in my life have I felt anything like that. I thought it would never end. I was terrified and at the moment didn't think I could keep doing this if it is just going to get worse. So that night when my thoughts were swirling in my brain and the thought of ending it became comforting to me I broke down and called a local suicide hotline. I spoke to a very sweet lady who just listened. Didn't offer me advice on how to stop the hurt...as she has no clue how...but just listened to every word I spoke even through the tears when probably I was making no sense what so ever. After I calmed down we were able to have a 2 sided converstation.... we talked about how I felt like a burden to my family and friends and how frustrated and upset I was as I could no longer care for my 2 year old like I use too. That even the simple task of reading a story sent me to tears. She reminded me of something... That all the things my family and friends do, they do because they want to because they love me. I am not their burden but I am their love one in pain. They are not helping because they have too but because they want too. They have the ability to say No at anytime. That I need to let this guilt of burden go. She also reminded me if it was someone I loved dearly that I would do the same thing for them if the roles were reversed. For some reason when I went to sweep my kitchen floor as i was disgusted how dirty my house is getting yesterday...and when the pain hit me and stopped me and I threw the broom across the room and dropped to my knee's in pain and frustration...I was reminded of that conversation I had the with that sweet lady...and I dried my tears...called my oldest daughter (she is 18) upstairs and asked her "can you sweep for me?" she said "mom, I would love too.."
The lady was right....she did it because she wanted to help me, not because she felt she had too. Now maybe your needs are more then a floor being swept and trust me there are more then that for me as well...but just remember your family (wife) is doing all she can for you because she wants to and loves you. She wants you right there with her in your family home..she wants you to stay in her life and share her life with you. That is the good times and the worst times.

I really wish I could do more then just type words to you.... just please keep in mind that there is a women in Canada thinking and praying for you (hope the praying does not offend you) tonight and will continue too as long as you need to me.

Take care,
Karen