Dear RSDjaded and All,
I am so touched by all your postings. As Lorigood243 posted "it is or a labor of love as my hubby says , to care for me." I nearly lost it on that one! It brought tears to my eyes for sure. I was thinking when you said due to your financial situation you cannot afford counseling...I was thinking if there is a Catholic Church in your area they sometimes have free (or a sliding fee scale) couselors. It is called Catholic Social Services. Some churches have them so call your nearest church rectory for info on where there is one in your area. I know they are nationwide. Also, contact any church in your area as they may have or have knowledge of others in the area such as a pastor of a church or support groups in the area. It is soooo important to get your emotional feelings out...even crying is very important as you are releasing negative feelings.

I was married for 9 years but have been single for the last 15 years or so (who's counting). I've been single with rsd so I have never had anyone to care for me. It is very lonely but I have a very strong son who is an amazing young man. He has endured alot (and lost a mom who was athletic and did everything with him) but has learned we all have to go through things and it is just how you deal with it that determines if you make it. After six years my family just doesn't get it at all and I am tired of continually trying to educate them. Today, my sister even said "Oh Monday is a holiday and your home health aid will be off." I just laughed because when you are disabled you NEVER have a day off. Each day blurs into the next one. But people that have not had any chronic condition just do not get it or they do get it but want to stay in denial over it all.

Please do not give up looking for a counselor. It is really important and for your kids too. I have learned as a mom that I have to take care of myself in order to take care of my son and others. Try to do things with your husband that he can do such as sitting in the park while the kids run around playing or watching a sunset. These things are free and will really keep you all together. It is the little things that get you through the day. I try to laugh each day and I pray alot. It gets me though it all. And I have a cat and dog that keep me laughing. They are my little angels here on earth. I hope we can help you here. We are here for anyone with rsd or chronic pain. Please do not hesitate to vent or ask for any help here. THis is the best group of friends you will ever want!!
Best of luck,
kathy d

RSDjaded this is my opinion about families coping with our condition from my experience with my mom. My mom tries to protect me by not showing her emotions etc through my condition. I know though that she cries from all I got through and the impact it has on her life. I would rather her talk to me about it then me worry about her hiding things. I also think when you don't talk about things it builds up inside and it comes out in anger or makes one more depressed. I think it is also important to find somewhat happy things you both can do together. It can be hard but like when I was living near my mom we would play board game or watch a comedy show etc.
Have you looked into if you insurance covers therapy? Mine does not but some do. Also there are free support groups for rsd and chronic pain in general. My mom went to one.
Kathy I can really relate to you and feeling alone. I am also single and live now in a different state from the only support I have my mom. The rest of my family is not understanding. It is hard to meet people when one is so limited with the pain. I hope one day to be able to volunteer or work again so I can have more people in my life. For you too.
Hang in there all.

Hi again, My insurance does cover therapy, but right now don't have the money for gas to get there It is hard enough to get to his dr's appointments. It is also difficult for me to schedule time for that because I have so much already to do. Posting on here has been helpful, the past few days have not been so bad. I also expressed to my husband that I feel lonely and how I don't want to burden him with anything else. He tries as hard as he can, he will do things with us when he is able, even going to walmart is a fun trip for us, or using our last few dollars to take the kids out to dinner. My husband and I are very close, I love him so much. I try to do things before he even asks for them, so that he won't try to do it himself. He was mr. fixit, loved working with his hands and could fix anything. My mower hasn't been working and before he was hurt it would be fixed in 5 minutes, now I don't want him to even try to fix it, but he does. He will go out there for 10 minutes and tinker, but I hate to seem him in more pain. It is frustating for me, so I can only try to imagine how frustrating it is for him.

I do not havea spouse he die of cancer last years but I do have a son who has rsd.

Hi I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and also the heart break a mom has watching their child face this. I know the impact it has on my mom. I see you are new to the boards and I hope you find support here like I have. If you want an email buddy I am here too.

I have had RSD for more than 3 yrs now. Prior to that, my wife and I were both health care providers taking care of others, in more of an orthopedic capacity, for more than 20 years.

There are those marraiges that grow closer with challenges and stressors and those that drift apart. Who could say that RSD is not just that? The ultimate of lifetime distractions.

We had it all going for us prior to my injury. It is now all gone. My business, our income, my dreams of an active participation, growing and enjoying time with my wife and daughter...at least as I had planned it prospectively. As much of a loss to all my accomplishments and dreams as it was for me, I am sure it was worse for my wife having to deal with the loss but not afflicted by the pain that delivered it; a confusing and empty dilema for her to be sure.

In spite of it all, we have worked through the hardships and have amazingly and with much work grown closer and stronger as such. CRPS has shown us a part of life that was once taken for granted but now cherished. Any moments that we can share, as a family, that are joyfull and precious are now revered. Everyday is a challenge now, but with every challenge comes a potential gem of delight that was once not realized. Nothing is taken for granted.

I hope that you an your husband can find the same!

Thanks Kathy, I am going to look into a therapist that can visit my home.
Dear Dubious, I agree, I believe that we have become a closer family because of the crps. My husband was working at a great job, making enough for us to live anywhere and get anything we wanted, now we struggle everyday to pay bills for the neccesities of life. I know that is a big concern for him, he feels like he can't provide for us. I try to show him everyday how much we still need him and how much I love just being around him, and our daughters go into his bedroom all day to tell him things and just to say I love you. I just hate that he is in so much pain and there is nothing I can do. Right now he is going on a few hours sleep everyday and having extreme pain in his right leg. I wish they would figure out something that could provide relief for all those suffering. Thanks again for all of your thoughts, hoping you have a good day.

Hello I m new here and i am looking a support group that can understand what it is like to live with someone that have RSD! My husband was injured at work and the outcome was RSD. And oh my our lives have been turned upside down. He had his first surgery on Tuesday and it was neurostimlulation. And I really think he is in more pain now then he was before.
I am having a hard time learning to coop with all this. Because this is not the man i married. This man that lives in the same house as me is totally different.
We have been married 5 years comes August. My husband is an amazing man smart fun and outgoing but this RSD he is grumpy never happy and no matter what I do I cant make him happy.
How does one help the man they love and coop with all pain they are in?
Please someone help me!

KB welcome and I am sorry about your husband. I am sorry your husband is having such a hard time and taking it out on you. Is he under pain doctor treatment? Has he thought of seeing someone to help him cope mentally?
I think it is so important for both side of this to talk about how they feel. Keeping things inside is not helping anyone. You can tell your husband how you feel you can't make him happy. Ask him what could help him? I think for you as a loved one it is important for you to still enjoy life. I know this is hard but going out with a friend to dinner etc can really help you take a break so to speak and regroup. There are support groups for families and people who have rsd or other chronic conditions you may want to look into.

Thank you for the reply. I have tried to look for groups on-line but i guess maybe I am looking i the wrong areas or something. I find ones that are for the person RSD but not for the loved ones.
I have tried to talk to him about it and most of the time it is like talking to a wall. i understand that he is in a lot of pain and he is under the care of a pain management dr. but nothing seems to help. This monday is the day that the trial period for the neurostilulation is over and the lead comes out. But that just means more pain just in a different area of the body. I feel so lost in his life. and going out with friends is not really something that I can do. no one to watch our little man and no one to be here for my husband while I am gone.