Thank you for the reply. I have tried to look for groups on-line but i guess maybe I am looking i the wrong areas or something. I find ones that are for the person RSD but not for the loved ones.
I have tried to talk to him about it and most of the time it is like talking to a wall. i understand that he is in a lot of pain and he is under the care of a pain management dr. but nothing seems to help. This monday is the day that the trial period for the neurostilulation is over and the lead comes out. But that just means more pain just in a different area of the body. I feel so lost in his life. and going out with friends is not really something that I can do. no one to watch our little man and no one to be here for my husband while I am gone.

Don't give up. Speaking as a person with RSD. We feel so helpless, and hurt that we have this disease and that we have put this burden on you. It is not what you are doing or what you are not doing... it is the pain talking. There are days when I just say please dont be around me because I am snappy and hurting so bad I cant handle it and dont want to be mean to anyone. It takes alot more out of a man to not be able to take care of his family. I will type more later, but dont feel like it is you. That is the number one point of advice I have for you. Learn to forgive yourself, and come back and talk here. Eveyrone here is so warm and understanding. There are many people who are the spouses, mothers, of the person with RSD. Any topic and question you have or feeling you have... trust me... we are going through it right along side you or have been through it over and over, and can help you get along with what has helped us. The most important thing is to never give up either... my family never gives up on me, and learn to forgive even if he is being mean I know what its like being the mean person and it breaks my heart becuase its like something comes out in me that is so frustrated and I take it out on the people around me. Just forgive take a deep breath, and this is the BEST place online for you to get support. Honestly. I am 21 and have had RSD for 3 1/2 years and have been through lots of emotions ups and downs, and continue to go through it. Just hang in there, and feel free to message me if you ever need an ear or anything. THere have been so many times that I have gotten a message from somebody on days when I felt hopeless, and I felt so not alone anymore. Hang in there and know love and prayers are being sent your way. Welcome to the fam

Hannah

ps: one thing to think about is him getting on cymbalta. It is a miracle pill that helps me and all my friends with RSD manage mentally with the pain. If I didnt take it, oi.... lets just say I take it happily. Look into that.. it supposedly helps with pain, and works with the receptors that fight pain, and is an antidepressant, because lets get real... this is DEPRESSING!!! And even if it doesnt help with the pain it helps with our mood managing the pain and relationships around us. All my friends who have RSD take this, and we couldnt imagine not. oh and 60mg of it!

KB through the over 4 years I have had this condition my emotions and coping have went in every direction. I had periods where I would take my frustrations out on my support. Also my moods and behavior was everywhere. Can your husband see a therapist for the mental aspects of this? Being on meds for the mental side and having someone to talk to can really help in terms of coping with this condition.
Does your husband need care all the time? I just ask cause you said that no one would be there for him. It is one thing if he is unable but if he is able to do on his own I think it is important for him to. It is ok for him to need help and ask for it but things he can do on his own for his mental and physical well being he should. Is there anyone you can ask to watch your child even for a few hours? It really sounds like you need some you time.
When I was talking about groups I meant in person ones. I know they are hard to find for families. You are more then welcome to post on here and if you want an email buddy I am here too. There are other family members who post on here and actually it helps me as a suffer. I see how it impacts our loved ones and I try to respond to the loved ones in my life in a better way.

Hannah- Thank you so much. And i hate to say this but my husband is one them. Or I guess i should say that he is suppose to be taking them. when I bring it up to him it is a huge fight and I hate fighting with him.
He goes back to the Dr on Monday so I am really hoping that we will get some good news. He is is having the leads removed from his back. I m not sure if the Neurostimlulation is the answer for him. I see him in more pain now then I did before!
I really do feel so lost in this world of RSD.
I feel so sorry for the people that are dealing with this and has been dealing with it for years 9 months for me and all I can do is complain. I guess i need to work on being a better wife. I don't know what the heck I should do

kbltrn, I feel deeply for the both of you. My wife has RSD now nearly 10 years. I can ramble on and on about the hardship we've gone through from doctors not worth a dime to unresponsive insurance companies, battles with SSDI, my wife's RSD changing and moving around to limb to limb and her taking her frustrations out on a man, who until recently, had very little patients. From experience seek patients, lower stress for the both of you, be leary of invasive procedures. Try to seek out the correct doctors and therapy for him, both mentally and physically. He must move about not wither away idled. Water therapy I would strongly recommend even Yoga. Ketamine might be another treatment to consider. My wife has her good days and bad but there was a time when there was no hope and everyday was very bad. It is a work in progress and there is hope. Next week we vacation at the beach, waterfront, a quiet place, good food, soft sounds, gentle winds, very low stress and of course, one thing she loves to do when she feels up to it is shop! I pray you both will find your happy spot in life and live your lives to the fullest. It may not have been your original plans but plans do change, just make them the best they can be, it can be done and fight for your man.

jim&suzy

Hi KB! Well my husband and I have been married for almost 8 years, anniversary is in august, and he was also injured at work and developed RSD 3 years ago. You said that your husband is supposed to be on Cymbalta? but when you bring it up he gets mad? My husband thought that antidepressants were crazy pills and that people should not have to take them, if they are depressed they should just make themselves better. Myself coming from a home where my mother has serious depression, and constantly went on and off of different pills I could understand that it is a truly medical problem, not a crazy problem. Try and explain the benefits to your husband of the cymbalta for the nerves, it actually calms the nerves and helps the pain from RSD. It is not just the mental that it helps. Maybe then he will be more willing to try it, and let him know that if it is not helping in a month then he can try other things. My husband gets very frustrated with all the medications, and he doesn't always want to listen to me (I am the kind that constantly reads online about everything to do with CRPS).
The only other thing I can say is it sounds like your husband is trying to figure out how to deal with this and it is hard. It is almost like losing a life, your former life where you were able to do anything you wanted and move any way you wanted, to one where you can't even hold a cup of coffee, he has to go through the stages of loss. Eventually he will come to accept it and then he can deal with you better. It is so hard. I often feel lonely, missing the things we used to do together, but then I think that if he had been a little slower that day at work he wouldn't have moved out of the way and his whole body would have been crushed instead of just his hand, I am thankful everyday that he is here and I try to let him know that. I try to let him know that I still need him (a problem I have been hearing alot from CRPS sufferers, not feeling needed anymore for lack of being able to do things)
I have rambled enough, sorry. As you can tell my thoughts jump all over, if you ever want to talk I am here. It is nice to know there are others like me! Hope all the sufferers enjoy a pain free day!

This year in August will be our 5 year wedding anniversary. And I can say that the last 9 months have seemed like a life time. I tried to talk to him last night about the meds that he was taking. but he just gets mad. We have a 3 year old son that doesnt understand why daddy cant play with him and mom is consumed with work and taking care of daddy. I always try to make time for our son but it is hard. And the stress of workmans comp is not any better. It is dr after dr and lawyer after lawyer and we feel like we are gettng NO WAY. I want to walk away. I feel like my life has been totally forgotten about. My needs and wants our sons needs and wants. Everyday is worse then the one before.
I thank all of you for the support that you have given me and it all helps so much and it is a great feeling to know that I am not alone out there and my husband isnt either. To be 34 and to e told that you will never work again breaks a man to a point that I think there is no return.
I will pray for all of you today thank you again so much

kbltrn, I really understand the stress and the unknown-the fight it takes to acquire benefits that your husband is entitled. He will receive what he deserves but it does take time and patients. I'll repeat, he will receive his benefits. My wife also refused to take anti-depression meds such as Cymbalta and lyrica. In the early days of her condition she was accused by her doctor as being a fake, all the pain was a way for her to get attention. Her own family had serious doubts about RSD especially her mother, but not any longer. She did try lyrica and had a bad reaction to it, but that was her. As someone posted earlier these do help some calm the nervous system down, others not so much. By the way my wife broke her right wrist which triggered RSD and spread. She does say the pain was much more intense and different in the early days than it is now although her condition spread.

I think approaching someone with rsd about getting mental help has to be done in a very careful way. I was talked many times about going back to a psychiatrist before I did. I see looking back that I should have went back sooner because when the mental aspects get out of hand it is harder to get a grip on.
My best pain doctor said to me that one can't be in pain for so long and it not impact mentally. It was such a better way of saying it rather then making it sound like this was in my head.
I don't live with my mom but she is my biggest support and we had a talk about how my condition impacts her. Not till we had this talk did I see how much it truly does. Now I make a concious effort to not get angry or short with her etc. Kb I think you need to talk to your husband. It is not ok for him to take his frustrations out on you.
Kb I don't agree with that doctor about your husband not returning to work. He may be able to if he finds the right treatment. I know a girl for ex who was in wheel chair,dropped out of school,etc. Now she is back in school and I saw a picture of her jumping into a pool. You just never know what treatment may help.

it is a very hard situation- to see your love one go thru and theres really nothing we can do except be there but i know my husband is not the same guy i married either- he's sad- angery- hurting- and he wants to do things but rsd just brings him down and the pain is so strong- my life has changed as well, and brings me to tears seeing him this way and hearing of others going thru this nightmare called rsd.. but what we can do is be the strongest we can be its hard especially if you have little childern i do not and you taking on a lot more responabilyt is tiredsome and hard,, theres really no words to say to help fix anything just support and venting- and making new friends with the same and each other being there in times we need support.