So true us old folks just get a pat on the head:grouphug: Thanks we need to laugh!!!

A blonde quickly went out to her mailbox, look in it, closed the door and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking in her mailbox again.

She did this 5 more times, and her neighbor watching her commented," you must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mailbox.

The blonde answered," No, I am working on my computer and it keeps telling
me that I have mail.

The golfer
 

There was this golfer that never golfed in a group, but golfed nearly every weekend. One day this group asked if he would like to make a foursome with them? He thought about it, and then accepted because it just might be fun.

Well the guy golfed a perfect par game, and amazed the the other golfers. One of them asked him if he would be around the next day for another round. He accepted, but said that he might be a little late. They said that was ok, and see ya tomorrow.

The next day he was right on time, and golfed another perfect par game. Only this time he golfed left handed instead of right handed like he did the day before. This really amazed the other golfers, and they began to ask questions about his amazing feat.

One of them said to play a perfect par game right handed is wonderful, but to switch to the left hand and do it again is simply amazing! How do you do it?

Well the golfer says, if my wife sleeps on her right side, I play right handed. And if she sleeps on her left side, I play left handed. Then one of the other golfers says sarcasticly, what if she sleeps on her back?

Well, that's when im a little late. :D

Nervous Dad
 

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying:

"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do"

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this:

"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke... And well worth the
wait !!!!

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work
on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and
cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going
to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a
bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage, and jumped to his death.


The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his
death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd
known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would
have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos
orenchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."


Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife
said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch ."











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An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "Chuck, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

Chuck replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, POOF! the light goes on. When I'm done, POOF! the light goes off. "WOW, That's incredible" the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Chuck's wife. "Helen," he says, "Chuck is doing fine! But I had to call you as I am in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and POOF! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done POOF! the light goes off?

"Oh my Gosh!" Helen exclaims. "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!