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Don't sell yourself short. Among all the souses I know, you have most clearly gone the extra mile to take her pain in. You are clearly empathetic and do not feel feel personally threatened by her situation. Would that could be said of all spouses. Or in the immortal words of Henny Youngman, "Take my wife, please." :tongue: Mike |
Jimking,
I know the feeling your wife is going through. I went to the store and got into one of those little wheel chair carts. I guy came up behind me said excuse me then hit me without giving me a chance to move. He didn't apologize (or at least I didn't hear him) because I was to upset from him causing an increase in pain. Quote:
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Oh lord...even when I was in the wheelchair if someone bumped it that would send me reeling. I'm actually having an easier time now that I can walk a little bit with the walker. The walker (and my slow pace) tends to keep others away from me...and because I am the one in control I can avoid people a little bit easier than when I was in the chair and someone else had to push me. But of couse...I haven't tried any place that is very crowded yet. But the walker does provide me a bit of protection without really immobilizing any of my RSD limbs. Of course...I know assistive devices are frowned upon too but the pain and other symptoms have gotten so much worse that I need the walker (at least for now) to be safe and for my physical therapy.
In the beginning they gave me all sorts of air casts and then put me in one of those moon boot things. At first they seemed like they helped but the pain grew so much worse during the time I was using them. At the time I hadn't yet been diagnosed with RSD so no one could understand why I was getting worse with the immobilization...and I certainly didn't know enough then to put the immobilization together with the pain getting worse...I just thought that whatever it was was getting worse just because. When the doctor first mentioned RSD and I did some research it was like a lightbulb went off in my head...all of my odd symptoms suddenly had an explanation and no one else had been able to give me one before. |
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Or when someone comes up to me and pats hard on my arm to say "how ya doing?" :rocket: |
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Have you tried a tens unit in public? It does accomplish the same thing while (potentially) helping, as opposed to the brace which can harm you further. When I wear two Lidoderm patches--the first covering the front of my hand, the second over my wrist, (and I cut little snips into it so it is more flexible and stays on) it is a big white indicator that my hand is damaged and it actually brings more attention than I'm comfortable with, but nobody touches my arm while I'm wearing them. The frequency with which you wear a brace, is going to contribute greatly to how big of an issue this is. When atrophy is very apparent, like in JimKing's wife's case, I'd be very worried about any brace use. There have to be additional options others have figured out as well. :( |
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I thank you so much for your concern but my fingers don't work anyway. I haven't made a fist since the accident. The nerves controlling their movement are messed up. I'm not worried about the lack of wrist movement because it's fused. The brace, which my PT calls a corset, brings attention to my arm and blocks air being blown on it which gives me pain... |
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I hardly ever go anymore, but there was a period where I used to use movie theatres as a way to recoupe when I was out in the world. After takings meds, or driving a distance, etc. Depending on the behavior of my neighbors, it could be relaxing or it could be a horrible experience. It would baffle me when I go into a mostly empty one and someone come and sit behind me and then proceed to kick my chair, or even a few chairs down for that matter. If they're fidgety and sit in the same row, it will drive me crazy. I used to get irritated. Now, I tend to just move, not worry about it and realize I'm hypersensitive. If I'm in a car with someone, the force they use to close a door, can make a big difference in my pain. When my son was a teenager, and I was not adequately medicated, I'd ask him to wait for my slow behind to get out of the car before he'd close his door. I can't tell you the amount of tension this caused between us. He was sick of hearing about it, I was sick of him forgetting, etc. It got where even when I was dropping him off, I'd get out, wait for him to close his door, and then get back in. The more my pain was out of control, the more foul my mood... Those of us that are ubsurdly sensitive to environment and vibrations are not easy to live with. It can feel as if your being tortured 24/7. Some inconsequenstial thing to everyone else in the world, can seem catastrophic to us. The better managed our pain, the less of an issue these things are! JimKing--I have close family members that I highly doubt have ever bothered to even do an internet search about RSD. You seem to be incredibly compassionate. I'm sure your wife doesn't want you to experience her pain, she just wants you to comprehend something that she knows is likely uncomprehendable for you. It can be a very isolating experience--both physically and emotionally. I am not in remission, but my pain is being managed (with meds and a variety of coping strategies) to a level that I'm no longer in constant acute stress. Perhaps, that might be a goal for her to work towards? |
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