[rsd kitti]

Hi Brokenwings,
I'm sorry that I haven't gotten back to you I have been in alot of pain and still feeling bad and alone. I know everyone has left me caring loving wonderful throughts and everyone said something great to say to me and when I was reading them I was crying when I was reading them they were very sweet. I just don't know how to shake it still. Does anyone know how to shake this feeling of being alone even though you know tha so many people here reach out to you? Everyone has been wonderful and I'm going to email back some special people that left me some messages.............You know what I mean I don't want people to think hat I don't keep my word and get back to them the depression is getting really hard less last few weeks. I have been trying to do some art things that I like to do but I haven't been able to drive so I can take some photos that's what I love to do. I live by the ocean so I can take some real neat photos of the water. I can't sleep but a couple of hours at night then when my son goes to school after I take him to the bus stop or school I usually end up sleeping half the day intil it's time that I have to pick him up from the bus. The only good thing I can say is I'm sleeping during the day the few hours so deep that I'm so out of it and I haven't slept like that since I was visiting in Oregon my I don't know if he is still my boyfriend or not. I still haven't talked to hi which isn't like him but the last email to me said that he is besy getting his bussiness started and he doesntt have all the answers. That was after our fight and I tallked to him the next day after that but I haven't talked to him this time so I don't know what is going on with us but that will work out what ever is going to happen is going to happen. But this depression is something ealse. This on going and on going RSD is just getting worse. I'm going to be seeing me Dr on Friday I am going to ealk to her. She did increase one of my meds my thyroid stoped working about 2 years ago. At 36-37 years old, does anyone now if RSD causes that to happen at that age? We have had a problem stableizing it, it was for awhile intil this last time and we were testing for a lot of different things and signs of cancer because I have lumps that you can feel and my weight is unsable and other things I was suppost to of had a bones meral test before I got RSD but I didn't Thts when my thyroid showed up being off again. Also my Dr said that the lumps that all over and is speading on my hips chest arms ect. she said that its probaly fattie tissue because she said I can feel them because Im so thin, also does anyone has spams so bad that it hurts or that they wake you up or it starting to happen when Im awake and I shake worse now so does anyone have these things? Its scary.....................

Thank you to everyone again for the wonderful words and hope that everyone has given me. I just cant shake it..................................