[polarisgold]

Shocking title but I've already planned a way I just can't bring myself to do it due to my faith. I don't want to meet God in person that way. The Bible says nothing about suicide maybe because some circumstances its the only option. I'd also hate my wife and daughter to deal with my death. Problem is at this point I believe that is my future.

I aquired RSD in '98 after twisting my ankle. The pain slowly progressed to the point, after there years, of being unable to were shoes. Now I walk as little as possible, less than a hundred feet a day, to the car and back. Sleeping is becoming more difficult. I spend about 4 or 5 hours in bed and a few more in my lounge chair. Waking up with pain and dreading the day is getting way too old!

My pain was originally in my left foot and is spreading to my right foot and both arms.

We almost declared bankrupcey due to the doctors milking every drop of money from us. I'm now on Medicaid and finally headed to a pain doctor on 8/27/12. I've been taking 100mg of Tramadol and 600mg of Lyrica three times a day just to ease the pain while sitting down. While walking the pain meds do very little.

I'm running out of options just to stay in the picture. I'm fighting to stay out of a wheelchair and can't stand the thought. I'd rather just rot away in my lounge chair.

I've tried all the AMA approved treatments plus Hbot, Giant 4' electric magnents, the Water Cure, and becoming Vegan. If you know of anything else I'd love to hear it!!!!

[Jimking]

How about aqua therapy, Ketamine, t.D.C.S., spinal stimulator, morphine pump, a different med combo?

[Imahotep]

I wish I could help.

For me this disease is about the little things. It's about finding all the triggers and avoiding them as well as finding the things that help and using them as much as tolerated. Ghinko biloba and warm water help so I take 180mg of GB per day and try to keep my hand in a warm bath 45 minutes a day. Mostly it seems to be about distracting myself from the pain.

Sleep is exceedingly important to most of us as we tend to improve in our sleep. I'd talk to the doc about finding something, anything, to improve sleep. I have to take tizanidine to suppress a hardly noticeable tremor that keeps me awake as well as other meds to help sleep. If you're taking anything that tends to keep you awake see if you can take it in the morning instead.

Getting the meds right is job one. I hope you can find something easier to deal with. I often think along the same lines; that ultimately my choices will be exhausted but in the meantime I plan to fight this sucker with everything and see if a more natural death is possible.

[alt1268]

Polarisgold,

first I want to welcome you to the group. Second, obviously you have some faith in your background, so you must believe that GOD has a plan for all of us and I don't believe it is for us to leave here before our time.

I understand the pain and the feeling of everyday impending doom. When I reached my bottom I finally got put on an antidepressent.

I am glad you got a pm appt. coming up, there is lots of med options out there. Also I am on a rollabout because mine is primary in my right ankle. This helps a great deal. and has kept me active and able to get around outside my home.

You are doing the right thing by reaching out to people who understand what you are going through. Please don't go through with it. It is as you (not in so many words) put it, but it is selfish and your wife and daughter would be hurt so very deeply.
WE are here for you.

Originally Posted by polarisgold

Shocking title but I've already planned a way I just can't bring myself to do it due to my faith. I don't want to meet God in person that way. The Bible says nothing about suicide maybe because some circumstances its the only option. I'd also hate my wife and daughter to deal with my death. Problem is at this point I believe that is my future.

I aquired RSD in '98 after twisting my ankle. The pain slowly progressed to the point, after there years, of being unable to were shoes. Now I walk as little as possible, less than a hundred feet a day, to the car and back. Sleeping is becoming more difficult. I spend about 4 or 5 hours in bed and a few more in my lounge chair. Waking up with pain and dreading the day is getting way too old!

My pain was originally in my left foot and is spreading to my right foot and both arms.

We almost declared bankrupcey due to the doctors milking every drop of money from us. I'm now on Medicaid and finally headed to a pain doctor on 8/27/12. I've been taking 100mg of Tramadol and 600mg of Lyrica three times a day just to ease the pain while sitting down. While walking the pain meds do very little.

I'm running out of options just to stay in the picture. I'm fighting to stay out of a wheelchair and can't stand the thought. I'd rather just rot away in my lounge chair.

I've tried all the AMA approved treatments plus Hbot, Giant 4' electric magnents, the Water Cure, and becoming Vegan. If you know of anything else I'd love to hear it!!!!

[polarisgold]

Originally Posted by Jimking

How about aqua therapy, Ketamine, t.D.C.S., spinal stimulator, morphine pump, a different med combo?

If Medicaid would pay I might be open to a few of these treatments. I've looked into the ketamine thing and don't think it would work for me. I've had this daily torture thing called RSD since '98. I'm looking into t.D.C.S and will try to save enough money to buy the device. It may take a year.

My wife supports myself and our daughter with her office manager job. There is very little left over after paying the bills. I will be going to see a pain doctor 8/27 for the first time and hope he will give me something different that may help. Everyone says don't do narcotics but what else is there?

Thanks for asking.

[polarisgold]

Originally Posted by Imahotep

I wish I could help.

For me this disease is about the little things. It's about finding all the triggers and avoiding them as well as finding the things that help and using them as much as tolerated. Ghinko biloba and warm water help so I take 180mg of GB per day and try to keep my hand in a warm bath 45 minutes a day. Mostly it seems to be about distracting myself from the pain.

Sleep is exceedingly important to most of us as we tend to improve in our sleep. I'd talk to the doc about finding something, anything, to improve sleep. I have to take tizanidine to suppress a hardly noticeable tremor that keeps me awake as well as other meds to help sleep. If you're taking anything that tends to keep you awake see if you can take it in the morning instead.

Getting the meds right is job one. I hope you can find something easier to deal with. I often think along the same lines; that ultimately my choices will be exhausted but in the meantime I plan to fight this sucker with everything and see if a more natural death is possible.

My trigger is movement like walking or sitting with my bad foot on my good knee. I even drive like that. Makes it hard to get to the brake pedal but I have not hit anyone yet.

I will be going to the pain doctor 8/27 and will remain hopeful until I know better.

Thanks for answering my original post.

[polarisgold]

Originally Posted by alt1268

Polarisgold,

first I want to welcome you to the group. Second, obviously you have some faith in your background, so you must believe that GOD has a plan for all of us and I don't believe it is for us to leave here before our time.

I understand the pain and the feeling of everyday impending doom. When I reached my bottom I finally got put on an antidepressent.

I am glad you got a pm appt. coming up, there is lots of med options out there. Also I am on a rollabout because mine is primary in my right ankle. This helps a great deal. and has kept me active and able to get around outside my home.

You are doing the right thing by reaching out to people who understand what you are going through. Please don't go through with it. It is as you (not in so many words) put it, but it is selfish and your wife and daughter would be hurt so very deeply.
WE are here for you.

Thanks for responding. I am trying to believe the same thing about God. It is so hard to think God is loving and yet allows this daily torture to go on and on. My daughter has grown up with me here but not able to participate, same with the wife. What a burden! They have told me that they love me and I believe them.

What is a rollabout? Sounds like I could use one.

Not going to off myself anytime soon, just fells like my future.

Paul

[painman2009]

Originally Posted by polarisgold

Thanks for responding. I am trying to believe the same thing about God. It is so hard to think God is loving and yet allows this daily torture to go on and on. My daughter has grown up with me here but not able to participate, same with the wife. What a burden! They have told me that they love me and I believe them.

What is a rollabout? Sounds like I could use one.

Not going to off myself anytime soon, just fells like my future.

Paul

Hi paul. first a hug out to u man ..a soft manly one.
I too have been on the brink of loosing my house, as well as wife and kids.
I too am on mdcd. and comp covers the red. my wife works to support myself and four kids. (in NY) so I feel your pain. RSD started in my right foot knee and hip. to now every thing below the waist and working on both arms belly head and surgical scars. and walking sucks. i have gained over 125 lbs in one year. and I too am fighting a wheel chair. the roller walker wheel chair is great.(its by DRIVE) cvs might have it for 200. or less. it has helped me be a part of my kids life if only as a spectator. I want to address an remark you made. its about suicide not being mentioned in the bible. It has!! in fact it is a commandment, and we all know it. "thou shall not kill" suicide is taking a life and if I may add a life worthy to keep around. I believe you have much to still offer the world, and much still to learn from it,(it is my belief this is why we exist, to tend gods garden, learn the benefits of life , to experience them, and to bring our experiences back to our great whole..(god). your child will learn from what ever you decide to teach. And you have much left to teach. and love wow even in pain and misery the love you still have to give to your wife and child. focus on that I know it gets me through every day. yeah my kids argue, they are a pain in the behind!! but thats why they r kids. I am still amazed by the ,their energy , the way they approach new things and the way they soak up new information. ..Its selfish but I know I live to not miss out on their lives. I try to imagine it and well this is where I'm a tad of a mush..If I live to experience this pain, Just so my kids do not have to then I will do it. well my friend (Paul). I want you to also considerate this as you read my response..
My name is Paul as well>> lol... ok silly but as I saw what you wrote then I saw your name, I said god means for me to answer this. so yes I also agree that we are all here for a purpose to serve a larger design.
god gave us a family, god gave us our life , god gave us guidelines to live by, and yes god allowed us to get this beast. I teach my kids that they were born to a mother and father whom both wanted and loved them, but we didn't choose their form, or order, god did, and the trials of life . so we may not know why or how but we do know that we get only what god believes we can face. challenges and all. you were brought to this site to help you through. you pray often for guidance. I live my day by day with one phrase or (poem )always in my mind. read it . believe it. "foot prints".

You are loved , and admired. that is worth it all. but when it gets to hard to deal with alone. come here and find companionship, understanding, and love.
good luck my friend. I hope this has helped you. I look forward to you future postings. and when you feel weak come her for some strength . god speed and god bless

[LIT LOVE]

If you feel suicidal, then go to an ER. Call the pm and see if you can get in sooner, they frequently have cancellations. You definitely need a psych evaluation asap, which will be covered by medicaid. The YMCA has sliding scale memberships--sometimes even free ones, which would get you into a warm pool.

Regarding meds, it is not uncommon at all to require opiates with RSD. I went without for years, and my quality of life is substantially better with meds that help lower my pain levels (it doesn't take it away). I've had RSD for 10+ years and recently tried Ketamine and feel it gives me the best hope for a decrease in symptoms. Everybody reacts differently to every med and treatment--and new ones are discovered every year.

Good luck.

[Dubious]

Originally Posted by polarisgold

Shocking title but I've already planned a way I just can't bring myself to do it due to my faith. I don't want to meet God in person that way. The Bible says nothing about suicide maybe because some circumstances its the only option. I'd also hate my wife and daughter to deal with my death. Problem is at this point I believe that is my future.

I aquired RSD in '98 after twisting my ankle. The pain slowly progressed to the point, after there years, of being unable to were shoes. Now I walk as little as possible, less than a hundred feet a day, to the car and back. Sleeping is becoming more difficult. I spend about 4 or 5 hours in bed and a few more in my lounge chair. Waking up with pain and dreading the day is getting way too old!

My pain was originally in my left foot and is spreading to my right foot and both arms.

We almost declared bankrupcey due to the doctors milking every drop of money from us. I'm now on Medicaid and finally headed to a pain doctor on 8/27/12. I've been taking 100mg of Tramadol and 600mg of Lyrica three times a day just to ease the pain while sitting down. While walking the pain meds do very little.

I'm running out of options just to stay in the picture. I'm fighting to stay out of a wheelchair and can't stand the thought. I'd rather just rot away in my lounge chair.

I've tried all the AMA approved treatments plus Hbot, Giant 4' electric magnents, the Water Cure, and becoming Vegan. If you know of anything else I'd love to hear it!!!!

Sounds like ketamine might be your biggest bang for the buck. I've seen a couple on this list go from desparity to nirvana....just say'in