The good thing is she is not a bad person and she says she is supportive and understanding of my disease or of being disabled anyway. She says she will and wants to help me. So we will see. It is just hard to have your life completely changed in a minute without any control. I am trying so hard to not hold it against her and I am doing the kindness thing. I write in my diary the hard feelings so they don't come out because it is not her as a person that I am upset about it is just the change so fast. I also feel like they isolate me a lot. Everyone is always getting together and they never invite me or when I walk into a room they al stop talking or leave. I have started reading a lot more and have gotten more books to keep me occupied. I want to redecorate my room and make it my own so that I have a 'safe zone'. It used to be my upstairs but she has taken that away from me. It sucks not feeling comfortable in your own home. I am trying to look at this change as it could be a good thing. It might turn out to be great instead of the disaster that I keep waiting to happen. It could be the best thing that has happened to us. And I am very happy that my Dad is happy. I hope it stays that way! I just need more time to get used to it. It is hard trying to find your new life with CRPS then to add getting a new 'stepmom' and a whole new family, not to mention the 'new' house, so fast is head-spinning!!! It is just so much change in my life all at once. But I know I will be ok, I just need to figure it out. And only time and patience can do that for me I think. Thank you everyone for helping me through this hard time. Finally being able to talk about it has really calmed me down and helped me more than any of you could ever know! I sooooo much appreciate it!!

Angelina, just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you. This is such a tough situation. I would be a mess. Ginnie has some good suggestions. I sure hope you can learn to manage amongst the chaos. Your Dad should be thinking more about how his situation affects you.

Shaking my head ...

Humans, healthy ones, generally hate change.
It takes us out of our comfort zone.
What we need to do, is embrace change, and, search for the opportunities that are probably there!
I hate it myself, once I get comfy, (not often), I just wanna lay there. But, it gets us nowhere.
I think God make 'uncomfort' zones to move us along....?

Take what you may from this......

I wish you the very best, you never know, in a few months, you may feel totally comfy in this new situation, and if you're daddy is smart, (I suppose he is), he's explained to this new lady about you.
The best you can do, is to help educate her.
Print out that page from the UK! put it on the fridge!
Or, hand it to her would probably be better!

Point is, Help Her, to help you!
This, if you have faith, is probably a blessing, in disguise!


Pete



asb

His thinking is she is not a complete stranger. She is the mother of my youngest brother's best friend. She just got a divorce and supposedly she wanted to leave her husband for my dad for a long time

it sounds to me like she is not a stranger to him and it's not after just one date but as he has never spoke to you about her she is a strager to you. Might be an idea to ask him to sit down alone with you and say how long he's known her and when did his feelings turn to love. Might set your mind at ease a bit. You might even want to do the same thing with her

Also, print that UK page out, and sit down and talk with her about it!



p


asb

Words of wisdom and words to try and live by. This is so true and well said!

I have talked to them about it and I know when they have met and they technically met through me when I was a 4-H leader. I remember my dad talking about how hot she was and know when they talked, that is the hard thing is I know they do not know that much about each other except through word of mouth through their kids. I just hope they still get along 6 months from now and my Dad doesn't get his heart broken again. But I also need to learn that it is not my place. He is a grown man and this is not my house. I may not like what is going on but I have no control and that is something I didn't know until now.

Angelina - it sounds like you are starting to look,at the situation differently, and I hope that helps to reduce your stress levels.

My daughter has serious depression, anxiety, and possibly borderline personality disorder - she is 17, and the doctors would give her that diagnosis at her age. And I'll tell you for sure that when she has a flair-up, I have a flair-up, so I can only imaging how hard it is for you.

I have also found that the "mindfulness" techniques that are often part of treatment for borderline personality disorder, often as part of Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), have also helped me a lot with my pain. If I sit down and do mindfulness meditation I can lower my pain level quite a bit. My pain level will stay low so long as I stay still after that. Unfortunately, the pain comes back when I get up again, but this technique at least helps at night or in the evening when I can keep a low activity level for a few hours.

Then hope they are as lucky as I was, I phoned a company and could not speak to my regular person so got chatting to my wife. After a few weeks conversation I drove up to meet her. She moved in a week later, we have been together 23 years now. Even when I tried to get her to move out because of this she wouldn't go

That is so great for you. And I really hope this works out for them. I am not trying to sound selfish or mean, I just needed someplace to express my concerns and vent so that I didn't say anything bad in the home. I am doing better as more time goes and the more her and I talk and the more I get to know her also the more I get to talk here and read all of the great advice you all have (and support). It is just so hard to have such a great change slap you in the face so fast with no warning and COMPLETLY change your life and take so much away from you. It would have been nice to have my dad at least act like he cared about my situation or about my daughter. She has taken it really hard too, which has made it even harder on me. But I am happy that he has found someone that makes him happy and I am glad that you found someone and was able to move fast and have it work for you. But giving a woman everything you have..money, phone, car, house, etc... after one date is not smart. And as much as I hope that it works out I can't stop that nagging feeling that this is going to not have a happy ending. But I will pray and do everything I can to try to make it work out for my dad because I love him and want him to be very happy.