I honestly hope one day that there is a cure or enough understanding to control RSD without a bucket of drugs and when that day comes, I will happily enter a detox facility, clean out my system and clear up my head and hopefully skip out of that facility and into my husband's arms. And then I will find the nearest swimming pool and just relax in the water.:D

Wow Syl. Thank you for sharing so much of your story with us, that is one hell of a life you lead - your mother sounds like an evil person in the true sense of the word, and you are amazing to have done so much with your life despite her appalling efforts to crush your spirit. Sounds like you have the right attitude. I am full of admiration.

You are so right to detach a need for medications that help you to deal with the pain and other symptoms your health throws at you, with a dependence on narcotics. This isn't meant to be a flippant remark :p but I remember watching an episode of House where Dr House was saying about his dependence on a painkilling drug for his leg. He said that if a certain drug worked on his pain enough for him to function, and continued to work on that pain for many years, did it make him dependent on them? It did, but in a pharmacology kind of way, not because he was 'addicted' to them. He said something like 'am I addicted because I take a pill prescribed to me by my doctor that helps my pain and lets me live? Of course i have taken them for years - I've had the pain for years. I am dependent on them because they are the only thing that lets me function - I do not choose to take them for no reason'. The point is that addiction (as I understand it) is taking a drug for a reason other than what it is prescribed for....like continuing to take it when the need has gone.

I don't think anyone with CRPS should beat themselves up about taking drugs. This is one nasty condition to fight through everyday. Some of us need a lot of help, others can manage on less, but the pain is real, the disability it brings even more so, and if there's a med that can help us claw back a bit of the life we lost, then of course we should take it if we can.

Syl, you are a marvel and should be very proud of yourself. Hope you have a good day today, and a better one tomorrow...

Bram.

Thanks Bram , I have flippantly told family members, "I will not steal your china or rob a liquor store if I am no longer prescribed these medications. I will deal with the situation and get on with my life. You know, it's not just that people can not even begin to imagine the pain another person is in that ticks me off, it's that they won't even take the time to consider the possibility that someone could be in that much pain, and that a family member is insensitive in that manner makes me shudder.

The last thing I or anyone else who has this disease, would be to intentionally abuse, lose, or disrespect the medication they are prescribed. The thought of taking more than is on that label would put me in a place where I would need a pill and not have it. Sorry, I would not do that to myself. I know the pain I struggle with, when I have that Rx. And, like a lot of RSD folks, I have been through that period of time where I had little or inappropriate medication to deal with this pain. I certainly do not ever want to go back to that place and I will never use more today and end up with not enough for tomorrow.