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-   -   Poetry Corner - homegrown efforts encouraged!! (https://www.neurotalk.org/reflex-sympathetic-dystrophy-rsd-and-crps-/195200-poetry-corner-homegrown-efforts-encouraged.html)

Brambledog 10-07-2013 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KimA (Post 1020546)
Okay, Bram. I don't have a poetic bone in my body but I want to see another one of yours. So, I have written a haiku just for you.

A wee bit broken
Not quite who I used to be
I will start again


Feel free to cringe. I am. :P

Aww Kim don't cringe! I think that's lovely. Simple but effective, and I like the sentiment behind it. Some of the most famous poets wrote some very very short poems. There's a real skill to summing something up in so few words, without it sounding stilted and barking!

Thank you so much for sharing that :)

Bram.

anon6715 10-07-2013 04:19 PM

Bram, now you can post another one of your real poems. :)

Brambledog 10-07-2013 04:38 PM

Crumbs, no pressure.... :p

Better write one soon then! But thanks for the vote of confidence Kim :)

Bram.

Sylmeister 10-09-2013 03:24 AM

KimA I love your haiku, so you'll get no cringes from me.

When I saw this thread, my goofy brain immediately went to this little sing, songy, tid bit that my godfather used to tell me, I was very young ok, not like last week. LOL ok, get ready to send raspberries my way.

A peanut sat upon a track
His heart was all a flutter.
A train came rolling round the bend
Toot toot, peanut butter.
:D:D:D:eek::eek::eek::D

Brambledog 10-09-2013 05:37 AM

I love that Syl!!!! :D

Fab....keep 'em coming!

Bram (still awaiting inspiration lol)

Brambledog 10-09-2013 06:11 AM

Ok, here's one prompted by a dream I had recently....:rolleyes:

Bram.

Dreaming

I dreamt I woke without the pain.
The sun was shining....no more rain.
I dashed downstairs into the street
And ran on my own normal feet.
I walked the hills in wind and rain,
And laughed and shouted just the same.
I tidied up my daughter's room,
She smiled like roses softly bloom.
I went back to my tennis game
I won of course, biked home again!
I took my children to the fair,
We rode the highest in the air.
My husband took me to a dance,
A pretty dress, his loving glance.
We whirled about, and chatted long
My heart so full, and nothing wrong.

I dreamt, I woke.
I wish, I hope.

Brambledog c.2013

SloRian 10-09-2013 10:32 AM

Bram, those are SO good! Seriously, that first one made me almost cry. The "others" line at the end was so effective because it broke the pattern of the lines above and it really caught your notice.

The second one was also really good. I'm not just flattering you, either. You really have a talent for this. The images in the first part; they were varied, and you caught an essence of each (daughter-roses; dance-pretty dress, relationship, movement; games-winning! :D ) Then in the second part, the sadness of waking, but with the stubborn bit of hope ...

Please keep them coming. They're beautiful!

Sylmeister 10-09-2013 11:41 AM

Beautiful Bram. For me, the last two lines are heart breaking.
Thank you.

Brambledog 10-09-2013 01:08 PM

That's so nice guys. Thank you :)

Perhaps I could write a book of poetry for CRPS and publish it to raise awareness and donations for research?! Hmm.......scary thought. Brams considers putting herself up for possible public opinion.... :eek:

Bram.

RSD ME 10-09-2013 03:07 PM

Here's another one:

Poetry: If you could live in my body

A Poem submitted by one of our ButYouDontLookSick.com members.

If you could live in my body,
just for a day,
maybe you wouldn’t think
that I feel okay.
You might understand
what it’s like to be tired
by just trying to live,
just doing what’s required.
If you could live in my body
you might begin to see,
that a simple drug
won’t set me free.
If you could live in my skin
you’d learn to understand
that it’s not in my head,
nor was it planned.
I don’t want your pity
or to make you resent.
But I don’t need to apologize,
or have your consent.
I am sick and I’m tired
every single day,
and it won’t help to ignore it.
So listen when I say:
it helps when I relax
with a friend and some tea.
You can’t understand
but please, believe me.

Submitted by Beth Turner, © butyoudontlooksick.com
- See more at: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wp....qQPCWZ0F.dpuf


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