I couldn't agree more! Right on Renee!

SloRian - I'm so happy you've been able to play your harp so much that's fab! I've played Edward most days, although if my hands are very bad I've given him the day off lol I remember Yo-Yo Ma at that service. I think the cello has such soul and feeling, and there is a sadness, almost grief to it at times that other instruments don't have. It's very soothing.... The harp is a beautiful instrument, very calming - my husband and I have a CD of harp music, and we both love it to bits, I think it was the first classical music CD we got together (he didn't listen to classical before he met me!).

Renee - I know I've said this to you before lol, but stop apologising so much! That fear thread is a good and brave idea, and what each one of us thinks is as relevant as the others. We might not agree with each other, but we should be able to say so nicely and without causing hackles to raise. I think most of us manage to walk that line. Personally I found that discussion (most of it anyway ) really healing and helpful, and I was sad it stopped like it did. It certainly didn't make me feel bad or dislike you. And don't be so hard on yourself about giving in to that kind of emotional pressure, it's human to want to fit in and be liked. It was sad but understandable. As others have said - post what you feel, not what you want others to be happy with. As long as you stop short of being aggressive or taking offence where none was intended, then you have every right to post what you think and feel. I'd rather that than a board where we all spent our time agreeing with each other constantly and never hearing another side to a thought!

This is the only place where I can speak freely about my CRPS and its effects and know that I will be understood by real people who actually experience the same things and feel the same things. That's amazing. You're all amazing.

Right. Anybody fancy a delicious homemade chocolate and a cup of my best coffee?

Have as good a day as you can my friends

Bram.

ummm, YES! pick me! pick me! lol

Thanks Bram. I do want to say how I feel, but don't want to influence anyone to feel that way too. I don't know if what I feel is right, and would feel worse if someone copied me if I was wrong. And I don't want to lose the friendship I've made with all of you. But you're right, if I'm not honest than what's the sense in sharing my thoughts on this forum. I try to be positive, but sometimes it's just so hard. Like when the pain gets real bad. In the beginning I had more deep cold aching pains from my rsd. Now after two years I'm getting that plus burning pains. And it's now spread to my hands wrist, legs and feet and stomach and ears. My hands and feet are burning real bad right now (two days ago my hands were cold and my feet were burning) and it's all scaring the crap out of me because the last two times I told my pm dr about it, he said to exercise and take my pain meds. There has to be more they can do than just offer that adivce. And if there isn't anything left to offer, then how do I cope with this pain? I see my root canal specialist tomorrow morning for my second visit to work on my tooth, then I am getting xrays on my feet, (I asked my gp to give me a script for this) and then off to my psychiatrist for my follow up with him. Maybe he can offer some good advice for me. Anyway thanks again for all of your understanding and kindness. I hope you all have a good day today. I'm going to soak my feet and hands now because the pain is getting really bad. I understand what they mean by rsd and feeling the fire. Bye for now.
Oh yeah, I would love some homemade chocolate and a cup of your delicious coffee too. Thanks girlfriend!

I'm really glad I started up again It's really hard sometimes to make yourself get up and play when you're in a chair and finally a little bit comfortable, but every time I do do it, I end up playing for an hour or so and it's really nice. I love to make my own arrangements of pieces that I like. I generally do Celtic-style music, but now I'm working on arranging a lullaby ("Pretty Little Horses") and a spiritual ("I Wonder as I Wander") that I've always liked. And for Christmas, I'm going to finally get an iPad! The music apps are SO wonderful! I can't wait! I'll finally be able to get my adaptations down on sheet music because there are wonderful notation apps. I've been too lazy to hand-write them down before so I lose them, and that's frustrating when you've worked on it and come up with something that you really like. Anyway, thanks for sharing about Edward, because it really motivated me to get up and playing again Take that, you stupid pain and fatigue!!! Nyah Nyah!!! You can't make beautiful things like music ugly!!!

Yes, the cello definitely has that beautiful sad tone to it; just lovely. And also so soothing, as you say. It's really a lovely instrument. I really don't have much CD-wise for the cello except some Bach, IIRC; do you recommend anything?

BTW, everyone, please call me Rian; that's usually what I go by online, but I think it was too short a name here or something so I had to add on stuff before it. SloRian is really kinda awkward; Rian is what I prefer ANNNNND it's shorter to type for those with sore fingers

Hi Rian

Wow, I'm impressed that you compose and arrange - I know exactly what you mean about getting it down on paper, I've lost so many really nice little pieces that I've worked on and then forgotten. I've got an iPad (I'm on it now lol) but I've struggled to find a good notation app. Mind you, it doesn't help that I've for the original iPad, and it won't accept some of the newer (and better) apps. I'll try it again though now you've mentioned it!!

Cello music....hmm...there's so much out there. I'm glad you've got the Bach, that's beautiful (it's been on a tv ad here in the uk). I love the Elgar Cello Concerto, particularly the Jacqueline du Pre recital if you can get it, she was such an amazing player. Another really lovely piece is The Swan by Saint-Saens - it's slow and beautiful, and I can just about play it (still working on it).

I'd love to try the harp one day, have a wonderful time with it today! I also find that once I'm started with playing, even if I'm having a bad day, I start to really get into it and time just flies. One of the benefits

Have a fab day,

Bram.

Feel the Pain By Michael Evans Nz

Life is like that one minute your here then your gone
The only difference is your moving and i am not

Going insane can you feel the pain
Going insane cant understand the pain
Going insane shaking like a leaf again
Going insane no one understands the pain

Then you take a killer and life feels alright for awhile
when you cant feel the pain and you think your in control again
Feel the pain as i lead my head forward again

Feel the pain
Feel the pain
Feel the pain and carry on again

Then you take some pain killers and you feel less pain
but your incohearent and dopey again

Feel the pain
Feel the pain
Feel the pain please make it go away again

Run out of room part two in next thread

Feel the pain part two by Michael Evans NZ

First it was in my elbow then in my forearm now its in my hand
and its in my shoulder and i can feel i moving up my neck
now its on the right side of my face and in my leg I am running out
of space.

Feel the pain
Feel the pain
Feel the pain in control again

Just a thought as you feel the pain i may look alright
from the outside but i am hurting like hell on the inside

Feel the pain
Feel the pain
Feel the pain that no one else can see again

Thanks for letting me join this site i hope you like my poem/song


copyright Michael Evans.

Hi

I was thinking as I read it that it felt more like a song! That's really good, definitely getting that feeling of the repetitive nature of the pain, and the last line sums it all up... So many thoughts in there that are right on the money. Keep writing! I don't know if it's possible to upload a soundfile lol, but I'd like to hear it sometime.

Take care and I hope you have a good day today.

Bram.

"Comes The Dawn"

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall