http://www.rsds.org/1/publications/r...ummer2006.html
What to do with the guilt?

Since having CRPS, I often feel guilty for not accomplishing those things that I used to be able to accomplish. I also try to hide my pain as much as possible. It is one particular issue that I have discussed with Doc K, my psychologist. She was surprised that I had feelings of guilt. Basically, she simply told me I should not feel guilty. One should not feel guilty for acquiring a disorder and subsequent disability without any control whatsoever of a diseases affliction. But, it is not that simple. Especially when it has been drilled into my head that one can will themselves to overcome illness or pain, and that showing outward signs is evidence of weakness or inferiority. Suffering should be done in silence. Well, I've failed at that. I found this article on RSDSA.org. Surprised that there are others like me who feel guilty for being ill, it revealed to me that I am not alone. Interesting in deed.

Do any others of you CRPSers have feelings of guilt?

Gosh yes. Every single day. Every time I don't want to force myself to do something, every time I ask someone to do something I used to do myself... Every time I admit that I feel crap, or show my pain.

Guilt is a strange beast. You can know its irrational, know that having this disease isn't your fault, know that you would do the same for your husband/children/family if it were the other way around.....but it doesn't change a thing. I still feel guilty, and I think I always will.

I have a mantra - to deal with this the best I can. Some days I can do more than others (it's never enough though!).

I don't know the answer, but I suspect it comes down to living with it, like every other aspect of this condition....

Bram.

You can't help feeling guilty, I taught my 3 granddaughters to swim in our pool took them to disneyland my grandson I've never even picked up. Had his 3rd birthday party yesterday but I couldn't go I feel as if I've really let him down and wonder what he'll think of me as he grows up.

Oh my Gosh DJ you have no idea how much this post touched me! I'm constantly feeling guilty for something anyway even before the RSD. I'm caught in the generation when trying to be Super mom and wife was expected, to be everything to everyone all the time.
Now my kids are grown and I just had them over for dinner. It is quite a huge chore for me these days. They just don't understand there is no pattern with this disease! During dinner they roll their eyes about me not working. They just do not understand how much pain I'll be in for later doing the fine hand movements needed just to make dinner even if I can struggle through it at the time.
So there you go, I'm feeling guilty, it doesn't take much to tear me down.
How do we make people understand that just because we can force ourselves to do things at one moment doesn't mean we will even walk or hold on to something later, or cry in the night with pain.

Yes we do. Recently I have been feeling it more than ever. Its also part of the depression we get with this disorder. As long as we don't let it get us completely and we take the easy way out we are still fighting. I think that's the main thing. To keep fighting.

Thank you so much for your responses. So then, is there a way to overcome these guilty feelings? Seems like I am constantly saying I'm sorry, which I am truly sorry. I'm sorry for myself, as much as I am sorry for the extra burden I have placed on my family and friends. This disorder has taken a confident competent person and totally turned her upside down. How do you manage?

I'm always feeling guiltily, then when I'm on low pain days I wanna do do do but know if I do then I will pay the next day worse. Grrrr sometimes just wanna yell n scream

I feel guilty majority of the time. I have had RSD/CRPS for over 22 years now and got really bad in 2009-2010. I finally stopped working at the end of Dec 2012 and am on SSD now. I am so used to working so hard at my job and at home. Cooking, cleaning and scrapbooking with my friends. Shopping and being more social...the guilt eats at me.

I have gotten better about it with my husband's reassurance and from talking with a therapist...but the guilt pops up every now and then.

I think Nanc hit on part of the answer, talking to a therapist. We also have each other on this site. I'm not sure how much a therapist can understand how RSD/CRPS makes us feel. I've been to one a handful of times and I was frustrated by it, but maybe I didn't stick with it long enough or find the right one.

I really think MORE AWARENESS is absolutely needed! Maybe we wouldn't feel so guilty if there was more validation out there for the harsh reality of this disease.

Guilt about things I cannot do with my six year old, Guilt that I cannot go with my spouse to check pastures. Guilt I can no longer work the shifts and areas I once did as a RN.
Guilt that I try to do all of the above and end up torturing myself. Then guilt for having to rest for longer and longer to recoup my energy and reduce my pain