Hi Hanna and welcome :)

The work thing is one of the biggest parts of what CRPS does to us I think. It can take away our independence and our ability to earn money to both support our families/ourselves, and to give us that sense of worth/self-respect that working gives us... And of course a life outside the house. A lot of social life comes via work and colleagues - take that job away and you remove a lot more than the hours you're there.

I used to work in retail, all walking and standing and carrying things upstairs, etc. When my knee troubles first started I went to lighter duties, then had to be off for a few months before the simple (haha) op that was meant to sort everything out within a few weeks... That dot dot dot means nope, that didn't happen for me! Pain and CRPS and disability followed and I never went back. In the end they asked me nicely to resign (it was a small independent place) so that they could employ someone else. I did it. I didn't feel I had any other options, and I had enjoyed my job. They had been fair.

I went through the black times, wondering if this was it...but as things very slowly improved a bit, I got bored and wanted to try to work again. The CRPS was such that I knew I couldn't do 9-5, or anything massively physical or with regulated hours, because I just didn't know how long I could last each day. So I considered self-employed options, and asked friends and family for suggestions. There was something I could offer, so I thought it through and started small. It was something I could set my own hours for, so I started with just 1 hour, then an hour several days a week, then a couple of hours, etc. I've built it up and I'm doing ok now :)

Admittedly, I'm doing a second income - albeit an income we hugely struggled without for that first year or so. I couldn't bring myself to do the benefits thing without trying to do something myself first. I don't blame anyone who claims, I'll be there myself one day, and glad of the help, but for now I'm putting it off as long as possible.

The main issue with being self-employed is that there is no sick/holiday pay. If you're not working, you don't earn. Simple. I found that one hard recently when I had back issues that took me out for over a month. Luckily I kept a bit going by the use of clever technology lol, and I've kept most of my customers now I'm back. It's a hard road if it's your main income, and I admire anyone that can keep themselves afloat financially with CRPS to deal with.

I suppose I'm just saying don't give up. Think around the problem and ask people. Sometimes the answer comes from someone or something surprising. Also, don't stop valuing yourself as a person just because you have this thing. It doesn't make you any less worthwhile ;) There's a way to do most things, but you will need to find some creative ways to get around your limitations, whatever they are! Plus remember that many larger employers have a quota of disabled employees that they are expected to fill. I hate the whole quota thing, but it can at least get you an interview at some places, and you never know where it might go from there. Councils and things often have the facilities to cope with physical limitations, and most know that people with a disability are glad of their job and tend to work harder than the average person who takes it more for granted. If you are positive, and make it clear that you are a lot more than your health problems, and have a lot to offer, you always have a chance.

Sometimes it just can't happen, and benefits is the only answer. If that ends up being you - we'll, that's what it's there for. And you deserve it. You are what that help was designed for, so don't feel bad. Dont feel useless, or a burden or anything else negative. You worked hard for as long as you could, and it's your body that is damaged, not you as a person.

Sorry for the waffle (I'm having to say that a lot recently!!) but I hope you get my meaning. And I hope your find your answers and can find some peace and a way forward, free of all the questions...

Good luck :)

Bram :grouphug:

I want to return to work....I think I would do me a great deal of good both physically and mentally. Problem being, I work as a manager for a major box retailer and they see me as a liability which I understand but I also am a hard worker and motivated and not an idiot. I've looked for alternate employment but haven't had any luck this far. My biggest stumbling block is the health insurance. Mine is mostly covered through my employer right now and I can't go without nor can I afford to pay for it all on my own.....especially right now.

You all are such inspirations of hope....I think I've at least found a place I feel comfortable to discuss what I'm dealing with. Most people just do not understand.