Hi everyone,
I have been reading threads on here for a while. My husband was injured at work in April of 2013, days after we conceived our first (and only!) child. Since then he has had surgery to correct a severed ligament, which was really the beginning if his downfall. After that he was diagnosed with CRPS, possible that a doctor upon doing the surgery sliced his nerve. Anyway, to try and summarize the story, he is/was a chef who tripped on a floor tile that was upturned, was in a great deal of pain for seven months before he tapped out of working and was suddenly (big shock) given the opportunity for the surgery he supposedly needed. There were a number of complications after that and now, a year and a half later through all of the workers comp crap, he has been diagnosed by three doctors with CRPS with a variety of "solutions" and a lesser variety of approved treatments to work towards those solutions. About a year ago he was told that he would never go back to cooking again, which was obviously very difficult for him to accept because it is the one thing he has been passionate about as long as he has been passionate about having a career. Now, we are nearing the end of his case- about seven months until it has to be settled based on what our lawyer has told us and what I have researched. He has been on the same medication for more than a year and has, as expected, built a tolerance so that his pills are no longer lasting as long as they once were. As soon as his urine screen came back negative (he eventually got to the point that his norco 10/325's lasted until about four days before his pain management appointment) the insurance cut him off. He's been through withdrawals and is now living with constant pain, I'm not sure which is worse. His insurance has approved another pain management appointment but in the week that we've been calling pain management, they have not been able to get ahold of the insurance company to approve the appointment, so now we sit and wait.
The major point of this post is that my husband is in denial, wants to continue his passion (I can't blame him, we met opening a restaurant together and I can't imagine giving up my choice career) he likes to think that he will be cured and when the claim is over he will be able to go back to doing what he loves, he's short tempered because of his pain, he has been prescribed medications (lyrica, etc) that have caused suicidal thoughts, he couldn't hold our son when he was born but refuses to acknowledge that when the time comes, he may not be in the shape to coach sports, etc etc.
This is very long and I know I am rambling, but the point is, I do everything I can. I pick up slack where I can and I praise him for doing everything that he can- but he is no longer the man I married. I can accept that- I was no angel towards him when I was in labor with our son. But what can I do? What can I do do help him, and to help us?
Workers comp has denied his request for any form of counseling because it isn't a "body part" that is within the realm of his claim.
I love him, I am constantly amazed by everything he does given his pain level, but how do I approach him as far as our future?
I know this was a cluster**** of words and feelings, but that is pretty accurate as far as what I am thinking and feeling every day.
Thank you for any and all input, and again I apologize for the length and the fact that it may be nonsensical.