i was offered a spoon, but i don't know what for. can you please help me out here?

i love you all...

oh, also, can you please make a list of the abbreviations you use so i can understand what i'm reading instead of making up my own solutions...

thanks and i hope you all are having a wonderfully pain free weekend!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about my condition. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn't seem satisfied with my answers. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to under stand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have waht I have”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of "spoons". But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn't even started yet. I’ve wanted more "spoons" for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has this condition.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said " No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make y our self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can't take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too." I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her a spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s "spoons", but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less "spoons". I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on "spoons", because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t d o it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, tha t everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day's plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count "spoons".

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can't go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Do n’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

copied from a post by wittesea

[Common Abbreviations
Just thought I would put this up here to make our new forum seem more like home


PM - pain management or pain monster or private message


Medical abbreviations -

Dx - diagnosis
Hx - history
Rx - prescription
Sx - symptoms
Abx - antibiotics
Bx - biopsy

h/o - history of

BP - blood pressure (can also mean bipolar)
LP - lumpar puncture (also known as a spinal tap)

pt - patient
PT - physical therapy

pre-op - before an operation
post-op - after an operation

Medi/Medi - person has both Medicare and Medicaid

Doctor/specialist abbreviations-

GP - general practioner
NS - neurosurgoen
Neuro - neurologist

OS - orthopedic surgeon
Ortho - orthopedic

PM - pain management doctor
PCP - primary care physician
Rheumy - rheumatologist



Illness abbreviations -

ACM - arnold chiari malformation
AS - aspergers syndrome

BP - bipolar (can also mean blood pressure)

CFS - chronic fatigue syndrome
CMP - chronic myofascial pain
CTD - connective tissue disease
CRPS - complex regional pain syndrome

DDD - degenerative disc disease
FMS - fibromyalgia
GS - gluten sensitivity

IBS - irritable bowel syndrome

MS - multiple sclerosis
OA- osteoarthritis
PN - peripheral neuropathy

RA - rheumatoid arthritis
RSI - repetative strain injury
RSD - reflex sympathetic dystrophy

SLE - lupus
TMJ - temporomandibular joint disorder
TOS - thoracic outlet syndrome (can also mean Terms of Service)

UTI - urinary tract infection
URI - upper respiratory infection




Medication abbreviations-

BID - twice a day
TID - three times a day
QID - four times a day
PRN - as needed

q4h - every 4 hours (and q6h means every 6 hours, etc...)

a.c. - before a meal
p.c. - after a meal (also sometimes abbreviated PP)
h.s. - at bedtime
p.o. - orally

AD - antidepressant
AED - antiepileptic drug

LA - long acting
SA - short acting
BT - breakthrough medication

ER - extended release
CR - controled release
SR - sustained release
IR - immediate release

APAP - acetaminophen/tylenol (known as paracetamol in other parts of the world)

OTC - over the counter (no prescription from a doctor needed)



Computer and online and NeuroTalk abbreviations-

NT - neurotalk
PM - Private message

Doc - DocJohn (our administrator)
KD - KimmyDawn (our other administrator)
CST - Community Support Team (the moderators)

CG - Community Guidelines

TOU - terms of use (also known as terms of service)
TOS - terms of service (TOS can also stand for Thoracic Outlet Syndrome)

CFF - community and forum feedback (a forum on neurotalk)
HNH - health news headlines (a forum here at Neurotalk)
GH/RD - general health and rare disorders (a forum here at neurotalk)


OT - off topic
NPR - not pain related

LOL - laugh out loud
LMAO - laughing my *** off (rear-end)
PIMP - peeing in my pants

MIL - mother in law
FIL - father in law
BIL - brother in law
SIL - sister in law (or son in law)

DD - dear daughter
DS - dear son
DH - dear husband (or darned husband)
DW - dear wife (or darned wife)
SO - significant other

IM - instant message



Other abbreviations-

WC - workmans comp

SSDI or SSI - 2 different types of social security disability

L&I - forget what it stands for, but it's Washington states version of the workmans comp system


Please feel free to add any that I forgot.

Liz
Last edited by Wittesea : 01-20-2007 at 10:43 AM. ]
from -
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=255