Thanks Ada,

What a good thread.

I have all of the above, I try to make a plan...but even then I'll ditch it if I'm not in the right frame of mind......and that "right frame of mind" is getting harder and harder to conjure....

all the best.

I have been treated for depression in the past, so I know what it feels like. I no longer take any meds of that nature, I leave my seratonin alone. I put the blame for my lack of motivation directly on the rsd/crps.

I was a lot like bassman, but no more "working through the pain". There has to be guaranteed end to the pain for THAT to work.

Joan, I have those stairs from heck in my place, too. If the toilet weren't upstairs and the kitchen down, I'd just stay on one level and let the other gather dust.

Junk, my rsd is mainly legs too, so driving sucks hard. And then doing the actual shopping, making my heels touch down on those hard store floors for an hour or so, under the blazing neon lights, yuckos! Plus, now that I have epilepsy, I am terrified to drive even though I am allowed to. I just can't take chances with other peeps lives, no matter what the dr.s say.

Michael has aids & HepC, so his motivational abilities are very limited. I "lucked out" and only got aids, but it is extremely tiring too. At the beginning, we could cover for each other's slack, we alternated whose turn it was to have a bad day, lol. Nowadays, that isn't happening as we get sicker and sicker.

Desi, we can combine piles of dirty clothes and see if we can reach the heavens, whaddaya think? It's just Michael and me, and we never leave the house, so it's amazing that we can even GET "piles", but we do.

Dream, I know how you feel, getting dressed takes so much energy that it drains you and now you can't go. I had my first mammogram today. The only reason I didn't cancel the mammogram was that Michael bribed me with yummy greasy Jack-in-the-Box tacos, mmmmm! Michael and I went to Wal-Mart today after the test. We got into the parking lot, looked at each other, and got back in the truck. Until we run out of coffee and cream, it just isn't worth it, lol.

We ALL seem to be the same way. I have to wonder, though, if age and attitude have anything to do with it? The young folks with rsd/crps seem to be plenty motivated, lol. I don't know if ya all want to compare ages, too, but I'll start, I'm 44.

No, that is far from old, I agree, lol. But "old" has far more to do with attitude than chronology. I have been most places I wanted to go, and seen far more than I ever wanted to, sheesh. Now that I hurt constantly and severely, there just isn't much that excites me enough to want to get up and go. Only maturer adults weigh the consequences of their actions BEFORE they do them. With rsd, there are very few things to do that are worth the price we pay in terms of pain later. Even when the "something" is important, though, it can seem as insurmountable as scaling Mt. Everest.

This lets me know I am not alone. Today I have to go out to my storage unit and show a piece of furniture I want refinished and bring a load back. We are still trying to get it empty. I just dread going.

Yesterday, I did nothing but take a short walk. Instead of driving all the way to the next town for my bloodwork I got up thinking about the lab we had here but I didn't know if Keith could do what they needed. They drew blood for test no one had heard of down at the hospital. He had the paper faxed to him and was able to do them. I DIDNOT want to drive all the way to the next town. I knew though that these test had to be sent to the Mayo clinic and my next appt. it next Tuesday and seeing as how it takes a week to get some of them back, I had to do it. I had to fast and I sat here until 9 o'clock and figured I'd better get going or I'd never get to eat. ]

As far as age, I just don't know if that. I am from a family that doesn't stop going and I'm next to the youngest. My 4 brothers and two sisters go all of the time. My sister that is one year older goes even at night. She calls me at 11 at night and she is on her way to Wal-Mart or to the gym. I get after her for being out that late at night by herself.

No, I'm 55 but got sick at 37 and I am at a better place then I was but I still get frustrated about not doing things that I use to love to do or always would do without question. The only things I will do for sure is things that I need to do for the boys. I go to some of their games, and any parties or school plays they have. It's a chore to do them though.

Even things I want to do though I hate doing now. I have to force myself out that door. I try to figure if it's the depression or the RSD and it could be both, I don't know.

The pain does play a part in it. When I feel a flare up coming on, I don't want to walk out that door for fear of not being able to get back home if I have one.

I'm not surprised about how many of you go through it too. From talking on here so much I can pretty much imagine what shape everyone is in.

What's strange with me is that I look so normal. I am able to get up and get dressed and put on my makeup. I wear makeup even when I don't leave the house, don't know why. I just think it makes me feel a little better to look nice.

Today the weather has changed, we had a hail storm yesterday. We had hail the size of large marbles and then it started raining and rained for 2 hours. Now my pain level is up in my right arm and hand.

Thanks to all of you for the replies. I guess we could have a contest to see who has the highest pile of laundry. It's just me now but I do have some of the boys laundry here to do. I might win. LOL

Ada

I'm not shy, my actual age is 55 but i feel 155! ha! but i have no laundry, my husband takes it down, washes it, dries it, and brings it to me to fold. so i guess i will not get to be in the pile that is getting to heaven, I will have to take another route!!! joan

Ada,

I too am one of those people who "look" normal (although I do use a cane to assist in walking outside my home). People constantly tell me that I don't look like I've ever had a sick day! The problem is that they don't see the real me. I only wish that they were right! I clean up nicely but the RSD monster still rages on the inside.

As you stated, I was a highly motivated person pre-RSD, active in my work, church, community, and volunteering. In a period of two years from 2002 to 2004, I became a totally different person as RSD - then fibro ravaged my body following lumbar disc surgery. All of a sudden even the things that I loved lost out. Motivation turned into desperation as I realized that I did not want to participate in fun things much less the things that are tasks. "This can't happen to me I am in control," I thought. Sadly, that was and is not true in my new reality. Fortunately, a solid support system and good medical team kept me from bottoming out and feeling hopeless. In my opinion, however, there is no way to suffer from moderate to high level pain for an extended time and not battle some form of anxiety or depression in the long run.

I won't even mention the fatigue and pain issues related to certain weather conditions. So many factors play into what kind of days we have and the main frustration is that we have no control over many of them.

Being a 50 year old, husband, father, and grandfather, I try to focus on "today" and making it through without excess pain. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Excellent thread Ada!

Best regards,

I have time time getting going, it has something to do with my symphatic nerve being cut I have read a study on it,just cant remember it sorry, mine is diffrent but I have to fight to get myself going as of late.
I know deppression is a big cause I do not feel it is the cause for me at this time, being the sympahtic nerve I feel causes alot thanks..

Thanks for the response.

I had plans yesterday to get a few things done today. I told Susan to come over and we'd do them. I got up this morning and left a message on her cell phone that I wanted to wait until next week to get them done.

Tonight I have the sleep study and I know I will have to force myself to go out the door. Too bad we can't kick our own butts out the door. LOL

Kejbrew, I know it has to be harder on men to go through this. I couldn't get Bill to wear his oxygen before he passed away. He always had this attitude that he was the man of the house and had to take care of his family. He couldn't accept the shape he was in.

We do look normal, at least most of us do. Like you, I never slowed down until I got sick. I loved to go to parties, get togethers, go to work, being around people and I can't stand to do any of that now. My kids are always inviting me to do things with them and I try to let them down gently.

Flippnout, by the way, that should be my name. LOL From what you are saying you had a sympethemy right? Do you think that's the reason for your
not being able to do things. Does this have something to do with the sympethic nervous system with the RSD?

I hate being the way I am with this. I really thought mine was due to the depression but I don't know. I know a lot of you say you don't deal with depression though.

what bothers me is how I make others feel when I miss an appt. or don't go somewhere I was suppose to go or do something I was suppose to do. I always worry that they feel I don't keep my word. I hate that part. I wasn't like this when I was well.

Thanks,
Ada

Hi Ada! I am on an antidepresent called Effexor, xanax o.5 and .. Let me tell you, I was doing so "GREAT" until this darn RSD got to me! It sounds to me that your feeling guilty, Ada!! I too miss appointments, don't even want to go anywhere, because I just plain "DON'T feel Like it"! I know, I know, I should "kick my butt out the door, too" it's just I have accepted me and I could care less anymore what "other's think"! OMG.. my family.. ok, I have 1 brother(used to have a twin brother, he's in Heaven, now ) and a baby sis. who is Heaven, too Anyway ok, like I said, I have 1 brother and 4 sisters. They "keep telling me" well.. look at cancer patient's, you'll be alright. why are you taking this morphine.. don't take it.. run away from this new doctor, he will make a "junkie" out of you! Oh, man.. did I feel bad? angry? yes.. Yes and YES! we have a wedding coming up July 7th. Am I going?? Yep.. do I want to go? don't know yet?? LOL Hey, lady, your in control of "YOU" If I am having a bad day (wich is pretty much, a lot) I will tell my kids, my DH and who ever.. I do not want to be a people pleaser, and that is excatly what I was being!! follow me here now.. I am "Woman"! anyway, hang in there, do what is right for Ada! "Do "Your own thing sweetie" we are here for you! Love and Desi