I have found that acceptance does bring serenity. I have also found that it has to be done one day at a time. I do still fight against it at times, like when I have been doing great and then over due it. It can be discouraging to be back to constant pain, where nothing I do helps. I have to remember it is only a set back, and I have experience now in how to help myself through it. I know I need to work WITH myself. I am learning how to balance rest and work, or walking, or living hahaha. Do a little then go and rest on the bed, breathe deeply, do my best to relax, read something to take my mind off of the pain. There is a lot of stress in my life right now that I can not change. How I respond to that stress I can change, one day at a time. Getting upset makes the pain unbearable. I see acceptance as embracing in order to look for solutions to problems. Acceptance changes the focus, from the problem to the solution. I want to be open. Acceptance changes ME, my attitude, my perspective.

[QUOTE=mama mac;1168671]What a great question! My acceptance and non acceptance are a day to day thing. I'm new to the illness and still cycling around the grief process. I deny, bargain, get angry and depressed, sometimes all in the same day. Acceptance to me is not going to be a final destination, but a place I hope to touch more and more often and at some point reside there most of the time. Acceptance will not be giving up on trying new options. I hope it will just be a place where I'm at peace with where I am at the moment and still continuing to do what is within my power to improve my life and health. ~mac[/QUOTE

Mac- your comment reminded me of what i went through early on. Its only through trial and error that you come to learn your new limitations. You can feel great one day, do all kinds of things, then feel crappy for the next day or two. What others can do in one day will take me three days to do. Im like the little engine that could... i think i can, i think i can, and sure enough i really can, just not as fast as i used to be! Its challenging when those around me still expect me to be like them. Sometimes i feel like they struggle with acceptance of the new slower me. I guess in one way its nice they see past my disability and at the same time i'm upset they dont see my disability and stop expecting things from me that i just cannot do. Thats when i mourn the loss of the old me.

Happygirlpa, Thanks for the kind words! You brought up an excellent point that I am really struggling with. Others expectations: Husband, children, boss, co-workers, my parents etc... I have a hard time accepting that each day is different and getting them to, well? Everyone wants the old me back and that's just not happening. Seems I get better for a bit and they adjust expectations like I am going to stay that way. I know they get frustrated with me, but I have to let that be part of their process. Easier said than done!