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Purple,

The holidays bring out the worst in families IMO. I despise them, because of unrealistic expectations and my own history of family dysfunction. My dad had undiagnosed PTSD, which was violently manifested during holidays. At the end of his life when I charted his WWII battles they dovetailed exactly with Thanksgiving and Christmas.

My mother, a narcissist, would rile my father up, making every family gathering a replay of the last. Nightmare is the best word to describe my life. I believe I am in a constant state of high alert from the family insanity I endured and tried to unsuccessful fix for 6 decades. I wonder if it contributed to contracting CRPS.

I suspect your mother cuts people out of her life to punish them, because they would not do her bidding. Off with their heads.

Research has shown that childhood trauma changes the brain. I grew up where staying on high alert was necessary for survival. Though I have worked through many of these issues, I am still highly reactive to my surroundings and hypervigilant. I have often wondered if this early hyperarousal of the sympathetic nervous system did not have something to do with me developing CRPS??? Will never know, but I find it an interesting thought. And NO I am not in anyway saying this is all in our heads (just for clarification.)~mac

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama mac (Post 1177879)

Hi mama mac and Biobased,

I, personally, feel it's quite possible that early trauma and resulting hyperarousal/hypervigilance may contribute to the mix, may make some people more vulnerable to CRPS and/or to other chronic conditions.

:grouphug:
DejaVu

Quote:

Originally Posted by PurpleFoot721 (Post 1177732)

I wanted to take a moment to apologize to anybody that may have been upset by a previous post I made about me actually having a heart. I realize now that it sounded a little bit as if I were lashing out at somebody, but to be truthful, I was only making a sarcastic joke about myself. I thought at the time that I was only self-deprecating myself but apparently others here did not take it that way.

I may be wrong on that and perhaps it was me saying that my own mother is heartless as I was trying to say my mom is one of the few who has to deal with situs inversus, which is true. Please don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but I do think that she is a little heartless, so yes, I did intend what it sounded like. Why is it that I think that she is heartless? Well, here is what I have to say.

When my sister was married the first time, her and her husband were living in Texas to be closer to his family. When Christmas came around, they ended up spending their first Christmas with his family. This was the first Christmas that our family was not entirely together. Because of this, my mom stopped talking to my sister for nearly a year. My sister and my mom did eventually get along again until my sister got divorced for the second time. My sister had her reasons for this, but my mom did not agree with her reasons, so she completely disowned her from our family. They still talk from time to time but not like they used to.

Removing one daughter from her family was not enough. My mom and I had a argument back in 2006. At the end of the argument, she told me to leave and never come back and never call again. After a year and a half, my dad finally stepped in and brought us together to talk again. It was never a caring conversation again like we had in the past. I always felt as if I was talking to someone who completely despised me but was forced to be nice to me when I was around. We never were able to regain the relationship the way it used to be.

Two years ago, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and going downhill very quickly. My husband and I were the only ones who were capable of taking her in and caring for her. We ended up missing my family's Thanksgiving and Christmas that year since we were caring for my mother-in-law. Taking her with us three hours away, when her family was all close to here was not an option. My mom was furious at the fact that we could not make it for the holidays for her own sake.

In July of last year, my mom decided to host a family reunion. By this time, my mother-in -law was in a hospice program while living with us. She was having a nurse come every other day to check on her. Once again, we could not make it. You would think that an oncology nurse would understand. Nope, she once again told me to never show my face around her, and never call ever again. In October of last year, three days before her 76th birthday, my mother-in-law passed away.

Now that my mom has disowned both of her children, my aunts and uncles, her brothers and sisters, were quite upset with her. Because they did not agree with her, she no longer talks to them either.

My mom seems to remove everybody from her life that does not agree with her completely. This is why I feel that my mom is heartless. I have ignored her request to stop calling her. I call her almost once every week. I have not entirely worked her back into my life and I know our relationship will never be the same as it was years ago, but I still love my mom and still need her.

I am sorry for the long rambling post, but I felt it was necessary to apologize and explain why it is I said what I did. I hope that those that I have hurt can forgive me. I do not like feeling as if I have hurt someone else.
:hug:
Alaina

Hi Alaina,

I had never interpreted your post as sarcastic. I only understood that your mom has a real condition where organs are reversed.

I agree so very much with Littlepaw's post on this.

I have some unforgiving relatives. Some of them have refused to talk with one another for 30-40 years. I fail to understand how these types of tactics help anyone and I certainly won't play along.

Life is too short, hearts/souls too precious.;) I truly do not understand it and don't have the heart for leaving issues unresolved and acting as though loved ones don't exist.

Sounds like you are handling a very tough situation as sanely, as honorably and as heartfully as possible. ;)

:hug:
DejaVu

DejaVu,

Thank you for that. I understand why so many people here love to read and follow your posts. You are so supportive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DejaVu (Post 1178953)

I wonder if anyone has ever done any type of study on this..

WOW, I am glad you found such a great doctor. I had a great doctor, and he retired last year. It's been 10 years, 3 ketamine infusions, meds, meds, meds, LDN, Sympathetic blocks, and finally SCS. The scs works kindof it just masks the pain, the way oxycontin does, makes me think of something else. I think I will try ketamine again. It worked for 2 weeks I was pain free! I was like a kid on Christmas morning, the world could not be more perfect. Then it came back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PurpleFoot721 (Post 1178977)

I wonder if anyone has ever done any type of study on this..

PurpleFoot,

Multiple studies have been done in this area often showing mixed results. Almost any research in behavioral science (including trauma research) is difficult to prove using scientific standards because it is unethical to interfear with or manipulate a human being therefore variables cannot be tightly controlled. We can say there appears to be a relationship, but lack evidence to say there is scientific proof. With improved brian imaging, genetic studies and medical testing I hope we can better understand how the mind and body work together. This to me is key in understanding and treating CRPS and so many other illnesses. If anyone is interesting I can provide links to studies or this may have been quite enough (or too much) of an answer. :eek: ~mac :hug: