[catra121]

You have all been such a great support as I've struggled these past few months with this shoulder injury after falling off a ladder at work back in October. I wanted to share something with you...a product of one of my coping mechanisms that I use to cope with the pain.

A little backstory first so that you can maybe understand a little more about me and my motivation...why I sometimes see things that way that I do. Sorry if I start to babble a little at this point as it's a pretty emotional topic for me.

About 9 years ago (before I got RSD) I met a bunch of lovely people online through a cross stitching group and I got really, really close to several of them and consider them my closest friends. We stitch these very elaborate designs from a company called Heaven and Earth Designs. One of these people was named Chelsea.

Now...when I often say, "I really am lucky...there are people who have it so much worse than me," it is Chelsea specifically who I have in mind. Chelsea was a couple years younger than me but we were both in our 20s when we knew each other. Chelsea was one of those people who ALWAYS was smiling and happy...someone who could support you and make you feel better no matter what was going on. She was also waiting for a double lung and heart transplant. Her courage and attitude, enthusiasm for life, despite what she was going through and the knowledge that she may very well be dying...I mean...that just really amazed me...that she had so much strength.

About 6 years ago, she finally got her transplant. She lived life to the fullest, got married, moved back to her home town with her new husband, got a job, finished her master's degree...and then one night 18 months later while out to dinner with her husband she said she didn't feel well, they went to the ER, she was flown to the hospital where she had gotten her transplant, and passed away the next morning. It was very fast and hit everyone very hard.

After her transplant...Chelsea had commissioned a piece of artwork from an artist who works with the cross stitch company we met through. It was called Chelsea's Gift and was a mermaid being gifted two lungs and a heart from an octopus (Chelsea's LOVED to swim and did deep sea diving prior to her health problems and then after her transplant). After she passed away, we (my friends and I who had gotten close on the cross stitch forum) asked the owner of the cross stitch company to chart the artwork. We then each stitched a square of the artwork and made a quilt which we sent to Chelsea's mother. It was a very lovely group project...but I wanted to stitch the entire artwork for myself as well.

Cross stitch is very difficult for me since the RSD spread to my hands several years ago...but it helps me cope with the pain. I lose myself in it and it relaxes me. It took a long time to work out HOW to stitch given my new limitations (holding the frame a certain way, propping it up, time limits, etc) but I have managed to work it out. My physical therapist said it's really good for my hands too...getting that sort of exercise. Win win...so long as I do it the "right" way otherwise I end up with fingers and hands stuck in curled up positions and have to have the boyfriend uncurl them (a very painful process that no one enjoys).

At any rate...today I finally finished this piece that I stitched in memory of my dear friend and I wanted to share it with you all. Even though she has left this world...I find that Chelsea gives me strength to face each and every day despite the pain. If she could do it...I can do it...as she dealt with something so much harder than this. I'm not dying after all...so I choose to LIVE and not let this cursed condition get the better of me.

So here she is...all 75,400 stitches of her.