Kim,

Oh how I understand your struggle. My spouse was hurt in 2001 and diagnosed with CRPS in 2011 after multiple surgeries. Its a struggle everyday. I work a full time job and we have two children. I do everything most days. He also suffers from seizures from lack of sleep. Some days are worse than others. He has blown up on me for different reason, breaks things in the house, etc. I cannot talk to anyone about this as their first reaction would be to leave him, as they cannot even begin to comprehend our struggle. Of course I don't want to leave him, he's my husband. But like you said they turn into someone you don't even know at times. What to do but suffer emotionally through all of this. I cant tell you how many nights I've cried myself to sleep. I've thought about going to a therapist, my husband would never go to one, but I don't know whats stopping me. Pry because I don't feel like anything good would come of it unless he agrees to change as well. I've told him how I felt many times and his response is always some version of "you don't know whats its like to be me", or "If I could just put this in your body for 10 seconds to show you what its like." All he sees is pain and nothing else. After I blow up from his behavior, he changes for a few weeks then goes back to his same ways. How are we to know how to fix this when yes its true, we cant even begin to understand the pain and depression they are feeling? Please keep in touch.