Has anyone heard from Jewells yet? I have been worrying about her and hope she pops back in soon. She is being missed pretty bad. Chin Up

Mark

No, Mark, I haven't; she's switched off messaging, so...??

I'm very confused, I don't understand what I/someone/we did. I can't see anything special in the previous posts. It's hard, because if you understand you can do something about it, but with no understanding I have no tools to help me sort it out in my own mind.

I'm very sad too.

all the best

Mark, Artist, and Everyone,

I managed to catch Jewells on the other site a couple of days ago. I sent her a PM, because I had just seen her post in a thread there (that thread has since been removed...it wasn't supposed to be there anyway...someone looking to do research). I didn't hear anything back from her until the next day, but she did answer me.

She said she wasn't mad. Something about "only dogs get mad ". But she did say that she has not been back here, nor had she any intentions of doing so. She has removed this place from her bookmarks and tried to remove her name from the membership, but was unsuccessful (which I think is a GOOD thing, incase she ever changes her mind). She said that she also intends on doing the same for the other board after a day or so. She is only staying there that long because she is hopeful that she will hear from the student that had started that thread.

I had asked her in my PM if she was OK, and what was wrong, and if she wanted to talk..but she made no response about any of that. The not being mad thing was because I asked her if she was mad at me, as her post followed up one of mine on that same thread where I warned the person that started it, that they shouldn't be doing research....and I wondered if she was upset with me. You know how some things can look on the web and message boards. And since I am confused as to what is wrong, and why she is hurt and leaving...I guess that I was being overly...I don't know...something? So, she assured me that wasn't the case. I was glad of that, anyway.

I do wish that she would come by here and LOOK and see all of the folks that have posted to her, and SEE all of the folks that miss her, and don't want her to go, and all of the things that we all have said. I said as much in my PM, which is why she told me she hasn't been here. She also said that once she removes the other site from her bookmarks, she is planning on directing her energies in other avenues.

I am not sure what has happened, although I might have an idea, which I will get to in a minute. I will say this, though; I DO NOT think that it would be a good thing for everyone to go charging over to the old site and start bombarding her with PM's. That might make her shut that down quicker too. I don't know?

After reading Hope's post to Jewells here, I think that I have a better understanding of what might have happened. It is just a "guess" mind you...and Hope, if you are reading this, would you please let me know if I get it right?

If I am right, I didn't see if myself, because I have gotten so very used to it happening all of the time, to all kinds of different people. It happens to me all of the time, too. Shoot...I myself feel either like a "post killer" or like I get skipped over or ignored quite a lot. I write it off to winding up with having written such long posts. But....it gets very disconcerting at times, when someone has ASKED FOR advice, and you take the time out to sit down and give it.....only to never be acknowledged for it. Even if that person doesn't LIKE your advice and thinks that you are full of caca...that is Ok. No one has to take my adivce, or anyone else's advice. But, if they ASK for it, and I or someone else sits down and takes the time to GIVE it....common courtesy would be to at least say "Thanks for taking the time to write that down for me. I will give it some thought" or something along those lines. 2 seconds out of your day can mean the world to someone else. Especially when we are all in pain. Especially when the person that has written to you has severe upper body pain and is trying to type with clawed hands. Or, has severe lower body pain, and is having horrible troubles being able to SIT long enough to type even one sentence at a time, let alone a paragraph, or a page...or a book! (LOL...that was for my benefit, and for a couple of others on here that I know. I mean, I am not the only long winded...erm..fingered...person on here, after all!)

I have not done this yet...but I am pretty sure what I will find if I do. Has anyone gone back and looked at the threads that Jewells has posted on here, and seen if she was recongized for her contributions to that thread in anyway? Thanked for her time? For her advice? For bestowing upon whomever was asking for it, the benefit of her knowledge and experience with SCS or whatever else the topic of said thread(s) might have been? I bet..and I am not a betting woman....but I Bet that in the majority of the, she was not acknowledged in anyway. Just over looked. I know how that feels, and it is not a good feeling. Most ALL of us know how that feels....but when you get to be an "Oldie"....you start to get to the point where you go "Crap. What's the Point? Why waste my time? I could be doing other things. Screw this." Just because it has happened...oh...so very many times.

That is why we "Oldies" get so very quiet, you see. And, why...we drift away. I mean...if no one is going to acknowledge us, or even thank us, rather they like our advice or not...What the flip is the point? We all already KNOW this stuff!! We all have already BEEN THERE and DONE that! We all don't need to say crap to hear our ownselves say it! We all have most likely branched off and made little support groups among our "peers" or folks that all kinda sorta started out at the same time that we did, and KNOW what we have gone through, and what we have done, and what we are up against NOW, which is much different than what the Newbies and the Mid-Timers are. So...we get quiet.....and we take Loooooooonnnggg breaks. Or we drift away, or back to visit every now and then, or just lurk. Or, sometimes, we get so totally fed up that we just leave, and never return. Which may have been exactly what Jewells has done.

If so..I do understand that.

Did I get it right Hope?

I hope that folks kinda think about things.....and maybe we can stop this from happening in the future. What a price to learn a lesson though, huh? We just need to think about it, and Thank folks when they take the time to answer us, when we ask questions. It is an easy and simple thing to do, only takes a few seconds, and it can really make someone feel very good and like they are appreciated.

Ok...soap box put away...and I am ducking and covering now. Fire away. (If anyone actually read this far, that is. LOL)

((Hugs))
Jose

From one long-winded to another, I see your point. Bigtime.

I do not enjoy the feeling that goes with having been a thread killer. It makes me feel as though others have regarded my contribution as an egoic exercise, rather than as an offering of value. Which may very well be the case, for all I know.

Mike

Only thing is, this isn't that old board.

True, we've got a good crowd over here. But my sense is that Jose is speaking of a dynamic that is independent of the mods, and is something of which we have to be mindful.

Mike

Mods? mods? No, I am just very uninterested in any unfinished business relating to the other board. Period.

Sorry, bit hot under the collar there.

OK, I'll be more specific. I do *not* think that this board should be used to either rehash or play out old dramas. We are weeks old, we're new, we have to build our own history, make our own history, not import sour grapes from elsewhere.

I think we can do it, build a history together, but we have to understand that we are all, on *this* board, every one of us, as old as eachother and as new as eachother.

all the best.

((((artist))))



i hope jewel does come back too. if we don't know exactly what happened, how can we make it right?

My suggestion? Measley as it may be. If a honest to goodness oversight has been made than we have learned from our mistake(s) and we must move on. It's when the same ole issues would continue to happen over and over again, than big problems arise.

Another big problem is trying to emphasize feelings and body language through a computer. Just can't come close to the real thing. Feelings can get easily hurt. I have pretty thick skin and consider myself lucky I guess. But there are many who are easily hurt.

Lets not turn our forum into a "walking on egg shells" situation. Speak Ye Minds! But please be aware of others. SUPPORT!! That is the name of the game. But at the same time bond with each other. From someone like me you guys are the only people I have who I feel can help me through my bad times. There will be days when I will say nothing or very little. I will read only but I can assure you it goes straight to the heart.

Do not be offended if your post does not get answered. Many of mine have not been in the past. So be it. This is not a race to see who gets there first. And many times I take from the forum what I need at that time and leave the rest. And for the new folks. There is a certain underlying level of decorum for lack of a better word that should be followed unfortunately we have never posted rules. We have always welcomed with open arms because we are a loving group. Maybe the mods could make the newbies read a set of behavioral rules before they log on the first time. Who knows?

Well enough ya ya from me for now. I am passionate about this forum and its significance. Bless all of you. May each and everyone find something in this forum each day to give you strength. Chin Up!! Love yall. xoxoxo

Mark