God Bless you Ali and your family. Your Grandad will never be far from you. Just know that he is always near. Feel his love and presence each day. My love and prayers....Diana

Thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers, it means so much more than you will ever know at a time like this .

This week has got to have been one of the worst weeks of my life. On Monday, we went to see my grandad in the Chappel of Rest and that was SO hard, he just looked normal and I thought he was just going to jump up and say he fooled us all but I guess it was wishful thinking unfortunately.

Tuesday was the funeral and that was SO very hard. Even just seeing the coffin on the street made me start crying and when the curtains closed in the crematorium, I just wanted to stand up and say that was my grandad and that they couldn't do that to him.

My RSD is flaring at the moment also, probably from all of the stress and upset and also from some of the additional walking that I have been having to do. I try and go to my nanans every day to keep her company, it's so hard when I don't feel like doing anything but I NEED to do it. My nanans coping pretty well, although you can tell she's so upset, she says she is better when someone is in the house with her as it takes her mind off things.

My leg is rotating out to the side more now, I see my PT's next week hopefully so will see what they say and if they can suggest anything that may help. I've lost 3 and a half lbs in the last week - I need to lose weight but I never wanted to do it this way!!

Thanks again for your kind words, they mean a lot and i'll keep you updated.

I am so sorry for you! You poor thing! I am 34 and still have my grandparent's (on my mom's side) and know how much I love them, that I can't even imagine what this is like for you!

Hang in there and please let me know if you need to talk/vent/etc...........


Erin

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

We really do need to act more like the lives of we and ours are tentative. It won't really make it easier when people die probably.

I'm sure you'll find the strenght to get through this.

Best wishes.

Hi Ali
My heart goes out to you and your family. Let yourself feel the emotions, do what you need to in order to get through this time. We are all here for you.
Here's what happened to my sweet grandpa, my dad:
I lost my grandpa as well, it will be 4 years this December the day after Christmas. He went in for surgery (hernia), We all knew if he was going to have an operation his chance of survival would not be strong because he had a heart attack years before which damaged a good portion of his heart.He developed pneumonia, it was the longest week of our lives. He was more than a grandpa, he did everything a dad would do for their child. He never put his needs first always others. I miss him so much. I made a collage of photos and hung at the funeral home and to this day it hangs on my wall.
I also made a video with photos to music of my grandpa, the photos have everyone in the family in various parts, it was my way of coping. Everyone copes differently. If at some point you would like to learn how to this I'd be happy to explain it. This was a great form of therapy for me. I made copies of the video and gave them to family members. My grandma is so thankful for it, she watches often. I even have a part with his voice on it.
My father in law passed away when he was 55 from a massive heart attack as well. Life is very hard Ali but remember all the good times, your grandpa knows how much you love him. If there's anything I can do please let me know. I want to reach out and hug you, tell you everything will be OK and it will sweetie, time is what you need and please give yourself the time to cry and laugh to reflect on the memories.
I was also given a poem by someone at the services, here it is:

Some things I would like to say.
First of all to
let you know I arrived I ok.
I am writing this from heaven
where I dwell with God above
There are no tears or sadness,
just eternal love.
The day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and said
“I welcome you.”
Then God gave me a list of things I had to do and foremost
on that list of mine is to watch over and care for you.
When you think of my life on earth and all those living years
because you are only human they are bound to bring you tears.
Do not be afraid to cry it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, if there was no rain.
When you are walking down the street with me on your mind,
remember I am walking in
your footsteps-----
just a half a step behind.
And when you feel that gentle breeze
or wind upon your face,
that’s me giving you a great big hug or just a gentle embrace.
And when it’s time for you to go from
that body to be free
remember you are not going
but coming here to me.
I will always love you,
From my home way up above.

Many hugs and love Ali...

Summer

Ali,

SO sorry for your loss- yes you are right - we all should tell the people we love how we feel,,,My thoughts are with you

Love,
Debbie

Thank you all SO very much for your kind words and prayers, it means SO much more than you could ever imagine at a time like this.

I'm still not eating hardly, it is 5pm over here in the UK and I have only had a small bun today. Everytime I try and eat anything, I feel really sick afterwards. I was supposed to have my PT appointment today but just didn't feel like going so my mum cancelled it ... the nurse called us back and said she was so sorry to hear about my grandad and that it was fine to leave PT until I felt better (as long as I did my exercises daily at home!!), she said that the main thing is that I drink plenty of fluids and that I don't push myself into doing things as I don't want to end up in yet another, serious flare!! I am so glad they are being understanding.

My nanan got the results of the post-mortum yesterday, my grandad didn't suffer from an heart-attack, he passed away from Pneumonicosis and Bronchial Pneumonia, which caused the heart-attack from being down the pit. They are now having to do an inquest, all of this seems to never end.

I'm still really upset. I had to write a letter to my grandad today (the corener and my nanan wanted all the grandkids to do this) and it was SO very hard to do. I kept crying everytime I wrote anything down. I also have to find a picture of me to put in my grandads coffin and we are to take them down when we go to see my grandad on Monday at the Chappel of Rest - I don't know if I want to go yet as it was too painful the first time.

Stacie - I love the poem, thank you so much for sharing that with me! I would love to learn how to create a CD with all of my grandads pictures and music once the funeral is over, that's a great idea. I don't have that many pics of my grandad, it's a shame really but I have a few that I would love to use.

Thank you all so very much for your kind words, it means a lot and I have shown my nanan this thread and she was overwhelmed and says thank you all.

Love,
Alison.

Hi Ali, I am so glad I checked into the forum. It has been quite some time. I am so sorry for you and your mom and nana's loss. This is the hardest thing in life to do but if you look around you and watch very carefully some beautiful things will unfold during this time of saying good-bye. Your grandpa was no doubt very proud of you and how strong you are in life. You must have given him so much. Your love has not boundaries. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Take very good care of yourself. ---jo

Ali,
I am so sorry to hear about your grandad. It is very hard to lose the ones you love. I can tell you one thing that I really beleive "even though the one you love is gone there are two things to remember: 1. They are never really gone 100% because you have the memories and the love in your heart and that is something no one can ever take away from you. 2. He knew you loved him and he is in a good place right now. God needed another good angel and he decided your grandad was the angel he needed so he took him. God only chooses the good people when he needs his angels and it sounds like your grandad was an awesome person and God seen that so he decided it was his time." It sounds like your grandad meant a lot to a lot of people and you all need to remember the good times and remember he is always there even if you can't see him. He can see every move you make and he will be one of your gaurdian angels forever because we all need a guardian angel sometime. JUST REMEMBER HE IS ALWAYS WITH YOU AND IS NEVER GOING AWAY! If you ever need to talk you can always talk to me. Take care and remember you have a lot of friends on this site that would do anything they can for you. Don't give up.

Sincerely,
Tracy(Screwballpookie)