Friends, I do feel myself getting increasingly depressed as days go by. Every day I feel myself slipping further and further into a funk. More and more, I feel less and less useful to my family, my home, my job...etc. I hurt SO BAD and I can barely do anything once i get home from work. I just cry, head up to my room, turn on the tv, change into my jammies, and lay in bed. SO brings me dinner and helps me shower and it's off to sleep we go - eventually, and only IF the pain lets me.

But I take the MAXIMUM effexor allowed. Not for depression, but it's what helps my burning pain. So if I already have an antidepressant in my medication regimine, then what??? I certainly DON'T want to be sent to see the counselor at the pain mgt clinic...and if I tell them this is what I'm going thru, that's what they'll do. I've already been thru that whole thing, and don't want to do it again. I know what I have to do, but I dont' WANT TO. I just want to be allowed to feel like a failure for a while. I want to be allowed to cry, to feel miserable, to feel sorry for myself, ya know? I've held up and been strong all this time...and right now I just don't FEEL LIKE IT!

Why are we not allowed to act like we REALLY FEEL? WITHOUT being told we have to see a shrink or something? And why is it that we can feel this way when we're already on the maximum antidepressant dose allowed?

Then again...maybe i'm just going thru a "thang" and I'm just THINKING this is how I feel...I don't know...sigh....

Ignore me if you want. Thsi just may be babbly. I'm not too sure of much anymore at the moment.