Originally Posted by Goodn'Plenty

Lisa ,
I think you got some really excellent replies.

You can't live in the past ,you only have now .
Taking some time out to mourn is very valuable but you have to draw the line somewhere.It can't go on forever.

The reason that your case study worker will send you to counselling after x amount of time is that studies show that anti-depressants work more effectively in conjunction with counselling esp. if you are really symptomatic.
Anti-depressants aren't just a miracle drug on their own .They are usually recommended with counselling.Of course in cases with CP when health issues cause depression etc it is another game altogether but that does not change the significance of counseling if you need it.
Maybe you hated that counselor.
Is there another one you could try.
These days counselling isn't a forever commitment .
It may just help you get over this hurdle you are presently confronting in a quick and efficient manner instead of drawing it out forever-just a thought
( i have a few more )
If you are reading ,the Jon Kabat- Zin Book- Wherever You Go There You Are is particularly relevant right now - also all those meditation techniques people offered to you in the thread you posted .The book is not just about meditation but specifically about what the title says.Wherever you are now is your life- so learn how to love and accept it .(I paraphrase and not very well ).
Now more than ever it seems so appropriate.
And your husband sounds so supportive and loving ( a real keeper ) I think he will understand the concept of mouning the old ,what is lost and how to move forward in this new and different life.
He also sounds feminist at heart.He does not expect you to do all the "woman "chores.He is happy to share as he should be esp after you worked all day (even if you were not "injured") so welcome to 2006
Letting go of the past is an extremely important step in this whole process and the sooner you do it the healthier you will be- no matter how painful it seems to do it!
I was a professional athlete , type A the works like many of us ...and now.....You just can't live in the past once your life has been so radicaly changed .That is a recipe for depression and major confusion.
Your life has taken a huge U turn and to pretend to tackle the same challenges as the same person you were before is a huge obstacle to your progress and acceptance of current circumstance and self love.

I am not saying your heart and soul are not the same(probably stronger and even more sympathetic to other's) but your circumstance has changed and the sooner you accept that the easier it will be to deal with life's quirks and challenge's.I know much easier said than done.

I don't take any anti - depressants as I meditate and still exercise which releases more endorphins than any pill however I do know a little about it from my past.

Your recent depression seems to have crept up on you .Do you think it could have anything to do with the recent addition of provigil to your drug regimen?
I am just throwing that out there as we all know how a new drug can interfere with our already established drug protocols.
Frogga mentions that effexor is part adenaline and then to add provigil which keeps you awake( a very good thing at the wheel) well , you just never know chemically how the two are interacting in your body.
As depression is a chemical imbalance- some of us with a true chemical imbalance ;some disease caused and others caused by adding meds to their regimen ,we have to be particularly careful of the chicken egg theory.I would certainly discuss this with your doctor if there is a relationship between the two(addition of provigil to your already established protocol).
Such little tweaks can certainly mess with a chemical imbalance!!!!!!.

Another thought as you don't mention it... , have you tried topomax?
I have always been lean but I have heard that topomax is the perfect drug for those that are scared of the weight gain issues of neurontin etc.
(Hey , one less thing for you to worry about )
I had no side effects from day one and could titrate up to 400 mgs within a month but other people as with neurontin and the others- tegretol etc. have had their their share of side effects hence topomania - stupamax.
It has helped my burning tremendously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the one drug I would not want to be on a desert island without - plus I am never hungry which for me is NOT a good thing.I have to force myself to eat.
I don't recall the last time I had more than 1200 calories in a day.

I will leave you with my favorite new expression ( new meaning since I became this new improved person )

"Worrying will not change the outcome ."

so why worry ???The oucome will be the same whether you worry or not.
It just makes you more stressed hence more symptomatic and on and on...

I certainly hope you feel better.
You can't live in the fog forever so if it doesn't lift after x amount of time and if you aren't achieving what you set out to do please go to a Plan B
I certainly hope some of these good people's ideas' made some sense.

Much peace
GnP