NeuroTalk Support Groups - Rude Rude People

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- - Rude Rude People (https://www.neurotalk.org/reflex-sympathetic-dystrophy-rsd-and-crps-/7875-rude-rude-people.html)

Hi Joan, and merry Christmas,

I think I told this Christmas shopping story at BT, but some people haven't read it.

My son Sean, a cop at the time, had driven me to K-Mart to push me around the store while I did my annual Dec 24 shopping. I'm not too imaginative and knew I hadn't bought my wife a watch the year before, so I had him push me to the jewelry counter; which was packed 3 deep.

I finally made it to the counter and was looking for a watch I could afford when this jerk grabbed the handles to my chair and pulled me backward. I figured Sean had wandered away, but he hadn't; instead, in barely a moment he had his fist around the jerk's tie (near the knot), his badge in front of the guy's face and both feet firmly planted on the toes of the jerk's shoes.

He told the guy that in Kansas, forcibly moving someone from one place to another -- even just a couple of feet -- was felony kidnapping. He said that since the victim in this case was his father, they probably wouldn't prosecute the jerk for kidnapping, but he was a sure bet to be convicted for battery and the guy's lawyer would leave the court with "...more money than you can afford".

He added that he thought if the guy apologised to me nicely, the incident could probably end right there, but if the guy wanted, he could call his lieutenant and let him decide what to do. The jerk mumbled an apology, Sean released his tie and stepped back off his feet, but quietly followed the man to the parking lot and wrote down his license number.

"I don't think he will," Sean told me, "but if I ever see his car parked in a handicapped parking space he'll get a $75.00 ticket every half hour until he gets back".

He added that he knew I didn't want to spend Christmas Eve filling out forms, but the guy would have been convicted of battery and would have had to pay his lawyer several thousand dollars.

"Besides, it's Christmas"

He was right, of course. and when we finally left the store we were filled with the Spirit of Christian forgiveness. Plus, the guy would still have to pay to get his shoes shined...Vic

WOW! Your son is my Hero! (Hey Vic! I have missed you!)

Oh...Vic!

Your son is my Hero! For Real! He is, and so is anyone and everyone else that stands up to the **** holes that don't have manners and treat people in the manner that that crap head did! I can tell that he is a chip right off of the old block!

While I am lucky enough to not yet have to stay 24/7 in a wheelchair, I do use one sometimes. In fact, I will be using one very shortly, when I am in Vegas visiting my Folks (and hopefully my Brother! I wish we could chat...we have so very much to catch up on, my dear old friend! I have missed you so very much!!!!). I will use one for several different reasons; (1) the trip out there it's self will cause a pretty dramatic rise in my already high pain levels, and other symptoms (I have awful problems with swelling....that really gets bad a day or so after we get there), (2) I can't keep up with everyone any other way, and there is so much that we all want to see and do...and I don't really want to be left behind, or feel that I am holding anyone back, or miss out on being able to spend as much time as I can with everyone, (3) I can use the chair when I need to, and not when I don't. I do get some weirdo looks when we are out and about, and I get UP and OUT of the chair to walk around with my crutch for a bit (I always have my crutch there with me....I even use it kinda like a "jousting lance" to help open elevator doors, and the handicapped-easy-open-type of doors, by holding it out in front and aiming. ROFL, that is when my old Fencing Training comes in pretty handy, as I still have pretty good point control, and very rarely miss my target! Heh).

One of the things that troubles me the most about being in the wheelchair is how you all of a sudden almost become a "non-person" down there. Bubba (remember Bubba? LOL) used to call me "A Cart" when I was in a chair...and that is about how I feel sometimes. Folks just kinda ignore you. Either that, or they stare, or treat you like you are some kind of a nuisance.

In Vegas, it is such a mixed bag of folks visiting and living there, that you have all kinds of different cultures almost clashing, and trying to mix. When you are on the Strip, it is worse...and when you are there during Peak Tourist times..well..you can imagine. It is nothing to be making your way down the strip, or cutting through one of the casinos, and hear several different languages being spoken in the span of only a few feet. Pretty cool. But, the thing that maybe isn't quite so cool...or that is a little harder...is some of the different cultures (not sure if this is the right word here? My brain isn't working this morning....my back is killing me; had to stand out in sub-freezing weather last night to watch Jay in his last Christmas Parade. At least this year, I had some company, as Meghan was there with me, wither her bad cold and all :( This was after she tortured me {don't ever tell he that I said that!} for the second time at her Cosmetology Class....for hours...lol) that are very used to dealing with small and cramped spaces? Or, with having lots of people to cram into limited spaces? It seems that this is mostly people of Asian Persuasion that do this cramming and jamming, and don't have much of a "personal space" thing...or a very teeny tiny one.

I have had folks (not just Asian people, either...I don't want to make it sound like I am picking on any one ethnicity, because I am not!), literally STEP OVER me, or my feet/legs which makes me very worried/scared/tense (pick a word, LOL), because of my lower body RSD, and my poor right foot sticking out there. So, I kinda try to hide it..but that causes problems all of it's own. I have had people JUMP over me, while a member of my family is pushing me, which has totally freaked me out, and caused my Dad (who looks like a typical Absent Minded College Professor, LOL) go on a cussing fit that has even impressed my TEENAGERS! ROFL.

I had a little Asian family try to stick their kids right in between my feet, and almost sit on my friggin lap (this was at the Treasure Island pirate show, when it was cool, and not the stupid singing sluts that they have now. LOL). I didn't mind the little kids getting right up close to my chair, so that they could see ( we had gotten there early, so that we could have a good place on the gang plank, since I have to get right up front, or I can't see *****, just like a little kid), but when the mom was trying to get them to climb OVER me, into the place between my feet? I was shocked. My Mom realized what was going on a split second before I did (she goes on "Super Sensitive Hyper Over Protective Mom Alert"...most times, it is very exhausting, but sometimes, it is helpful. LOL), and SHE went off on them. A little TOO hard, I think....and a little too colorfully, since she matched my Dad in impressing the Kids with...erm...."Grandma's More Interesting Vocabulary", ROFL. Especially since I don't even know if the poor people even understood English or not, and if they did, they DID have little kids there. Whatever the case, they got the point really quick...and we got dagger looks for the rest of the show.

I have been cut in front of in all sorts of lines, or had folks "race" to beat me there...like that is a big accomplishment. I have had people that work in stores not want to wait on me, or even take the time to help me out by answering a simple question....but if I send Meghan or Jay or my Mom back, the are more than Happy to help them. ROFL, if they have the misfortune of getting my MOM, they usually get an earful from her. Sometimes, a sly comment from one of the kids, and ALWAYS a dirty look from me, and a comment to their Manager. I have been pushed out of the way when trying to get into elevators. I have had people run in front of me after I have been waiting the longest and was first in line for an elevator, making me have to do it all over again, sometimes (usually) with the same results. Like I said...it is like other people do SEE you, but in a non seeing way? If that makes sense? They see you, because you are an obstacle or nuisance that will cause some problem for them, or slow them down, or just get in their way a little....and then once they do something to get around you, they make a studied effort to NOT see you, I guess to make themselves look better to everyone around them (How could I have done anything wrong, if I didn't SEE her there in the first place?), and even make themselves FEEL better about themselves? That probably didn't make sense, how I wrote it....maybe you understand what I am trying to say anyway...

I just don't understand people these days. I was brought up to be helpful to people. Not to stare, but also to not treat folks like "Non People" too, because all People are People, no matter what. Period. I don't understand people like the man Joan told to eat *****, and all of the others, who must have relations here, and everywhere else, that push and bump and do other such things when they SEE that someone has problems (like a crutch, or a cast, or a wheel chair, or whatever!), or the people that work in stores and DO NOT help (what happened to "The Customer Comes First"? That is what was drilled into my head when I worked retail...?), and the people like your man that your son grabbed up, or any of the other listed here, or the others that hare not, but that folks have dealt with. I don't understand.

And they all think that something is wrong with US. HA! Double HA! TRIPLE HA! I think that what I will start to do, when people act like crap heads to me, is say something like "I am so sorry for you. How long have you had YOUR affliction?" See what happens next. I bet nothing but some weird looks.....but hey! I get those anyway! ROFL!

Anyway...I am so glad that you are back...and that you are posting...and that you found this new place here. I hope that you like it better than BT. I really think you will, as the Moderators are much nicer, and actually HUMAN! The rules are understandable, and don't change as the wind blows, and folks don't get banned at the drop of a hat. Or without warning. The mods will actually TALK to you! How COOL Is that??? The talk to us, and NOT just about BAD stuff!

Ok...I know that you can do your own Long Posts...but I also know that you can't sit at the computer all day reading AND writing...and I know that I ALWAYS right long things, no matter how hard I try to do differently. I know that you and I have LOTS of catching up to do....and I know that there are some more posts of yours on here that I need to go and look at. I am just kinda slower these days...I know that you understand. II am glad that you are back!

Love and ((Hugs))
Jose

You know it is really sad that people have to be so rude that you can't even go to a store to do some shopping without leaving with your blood pressure elevated because some idiot was so rude that you just wish you had stayed home. A few years back I made the mistake of going to the local Wal-Mart the day after Thanksgiving, well let me tell you never again.. There were some of the rudest people I had ever saw in my life. There were people getting knocked down, stepped on, elbowed, and if they were having a sale on some certain item and there was more than 1 person wanting it, you could bet there would be a fight. Now that is ridiculous. The first one that gets to that item and reaches for it and begins to put it in their cart, should be the one to purchase it, but I actually saw people taking stuff out of other peoples cart. Now how rude is that?

Christmas is suppose to be a joyous occasion, even though it has literally been blown out of proportion, and so commercialized, and people just get so greedy and rude at the expense of others. I do try to do as much online shopping as I can, because with RSD in my foot and leg it is so hard for me to stand and fight the crowds, especially with people stomping on my feet, and of course it's always my RSD foot that gets it.

I do hope that if you all have to go out to the stores that you make it without needing to be put in a hospital just for doing some shopping. I feel sorry for those that have to be so rude, because I think it's probably not just at Christmas that they act in such a manner. I try to be polite and say excuse me and thank you, but there are times that I do that and it doesn't make a bit of difference, the rude continue to be rude.

Joan, like you I thought about doing the Wal-Mart thing late at night, but the problem with our local Wal-mart is there isn't a lot of people crowding the isles, but the stockers have boxes completely blocking the isles while they are trying to restock. Sometimes it is worse than all of the people. LOL I don't know if all of the WM stores have that problem but I know here it is every night.

Jose, I am so proud of Meghan. I know she probably didn't want to have to get rude, but you can only take so much, and if it had been me I probably would have accidentally dropped the kitty litter, barely missing her toes..LOL

Love to all,
Janet

Hi Jose!!!

It is so good to see you here and to get one of your brief notes.

In my reply to LisaM on Buckwheat's thread to me, I said things were not as bleak as the picture I painted there and there were good things I wanted to share in my reply to your post.

First, I laughed more last Friday night than I have in months, if not years. Right now I am trying to decide whether to describe what happened on what my kids already agree should be called "The Great Chianti Safari", it not only takes time to tell, but I really don't know whether anyone else would find it nearly as funny as we did.

Meanwhile, I want to clarify that my current problems dealing with my wife's infidelity don't mean the last 42 years have been a living Hell. There have been some spectacular fights (not physical), that led one good friend to use the word "turbulent" to describe our marriage, but there was a lot of love and happiness too.

I think we hired babysitters 3 times while the kids were growing up, otherwise we did everything with the kids; we weren't poor, but money wasn't always that plentiful, so as a result, our kids visited lots of parks with good playgrounds; nearly every beach from Santa Barbara to San Diego, and nearly every natural and art museum in Southern Ca.

They have lots of good memories, and I think one example of this is Sean, who has sent his mother and I $300.00 per month faithfully for more than two years now. You don't do that if your childhood was unhappy.

You mentioned people being surprised when you would get out of a wheel chair and use a crutch; after my 1979 injury I finally reached the point where I could walk up to 400 feet with a cane, and I can still walk today. unfortunately I am down to five steps and need someone to catch me when I fall. The damn bathrooms are former closets and the wheel chair won't fit, so I have to walk. When I can't anymore, we'll have to move.

I refused to get a wheel chair until a had to in order work again (1993), but I rented one once: 1981 or 82, when we went to D.C. for "Washington for Jesus".

I guess I should explain that we finally began being active in a church again a few months before my '79 injury, and after my injury I got pretty caught up in faith healing for a while. I finally got over that when I realized that almost anyone can toss aside a couple of crutches and run around a church; if, however, I learn of a preacher who grew back a leg (or even a finger), I will be there bright and early Sunday morning.

Anyway, we were in D.C., me in the chair, when 4 guys in phony Franciscan robes came out of one of the Smithsonian buildings. One of the pointed right at me and said:

"In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to walk!"

My wife was fast. Before I could even start to stand up, she was pushing down on my shoulders and hissing

"Don't you dare."

I will always regret that I didn't. I would have spent a couple of days in a lot of pain from dancing, but it would have been worth it. And that rectum deserved it! That and the very loud lecture that would have followed.

Unfortunately, I can't even last an hour in a chair anymore, but when I still could I carried an aluminum half-arm crutch everywhere, and used it vigorously and without regard for the dignity or risk to others, whenever I sensed my feet were threatened. Nobody is going to hit a man in a wheel chair, even if he knocks their idiot kid down for approaching too close or too fast.

Unfortunately, or perhaps not, I'm too tired to write about the Great Chianti Safari. I will use it as another example my kids, however; it involved my younger son (Pat) and his wife (Mel), and before noon Saturday, Pats 3 out of state siblings had all heard the story and had called to tell me how funny they thought it was.

Unhappy kids don't phone their siblings to tell them funny stories that involve dad...Vic