i'm available to go into the chatroom if anyone wants to.

<----insomniac monkey here.
down fall of pain. :o

((((((Abasaki)))))),

I just saw your post and it tugged at my heart :(

I don't know RSD. I'm familiar with fibromyalgia -- years of pain with no good treatment.

I just wanted to offer this up as another suggestion:
http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct/gui/act...ecruiting=true
http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct/gui/act...ecruiting=true

I was in the original clinical trials for prozac over 20 years ago. Got my meds for two years. And mini-therapy -->> someone to touch base with frequently but NOT having to go through that psycho bull-ships anymore. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

The good thing about clinical trials is they are aware of more recent research. There's someone THERE that is trying to help. I know sometimes when you have complex, untreatable 'thingies', the medical community starts to just keep you in the "appointment loop" -- come in, see how you're doing, send the bill to the insurance company.

You know, Abasaki, we get this idea that we're HELPING someone by hiding what's really going on with us. Spouses want to be able to help. Children should know that everything is not all sunshine and puppy dogs -- they need to see real life examples of how to cope.

Come out of that cave of yours and let the people around you help you. If they're not willing to help you, they shouldn't be around you. You don't need negative energy around you.

I'm speaking based on my own life -- spinal arthritis, over 15 years of fibromyalgia, borderline personality disorder.

The BIG THING in my life, though, has been trying to cope with a lifetime of chronic clinical depression and trying to not follow in the same footsteps as my younger brother who committed suicide when I was 22 and he was 21. I've had a lifetime of living in hell and trying to learn how to cope with it.

It NEVER PAYS to hide your feelings. I used to ICE MYSELF. When the nurse at work saw me after my first psychiatric hospitalization, she told me my face use to look like ICE. No ships, I was trying to freeze myself so I wouldn't have to feel anything. The way that The Universe works is either you go through it now or you go through it later -- you are going to go through it. Can't beat The Universe.

Come out of your room and let the beautiful things -- love and soft animals and pretty flowers and magnificent trees fill your soul. There is a reason that you are here. Please stay here.

BIG HUGS.

Barb

I'm still here...

Meds: my memory isn't too good but I do remember fentanyl patches...oxycontin...and I know I've tried several others with the same bad reaction... lungs, throat, face swelled up... thought heart was going to explode. We tried benadryl and several other antihistamines but they didn't stop the reaction... i can't remember what they gave me that finally got it to stop... i just know my doctor was more than concerned and told me that I was never to take any narcotic pain medicine again and gave me a list of others that weren't narcotic too as they would likely cause the same reaction.


I've tried so much... nerve blocks worked for a little bit but then I had major flares as soon as they wore off.... I've tried biofeedback...it worked for a little while but as the pain got worse... it stopped. Seems like the only thing that works is Chiropractic (Very aggressive style) and acupuncture...but my doc has a super busy practice and I can't stand to be in there when they run different machines that vibrate....I can be on the other side of the office and I know exactly when they start one up... the pain shoots through my feet and across my body like someone doused me with acid and set me on fire. In order to keep the pain in check I have to go in a few times a day... everyday. I haven't been able to go in as much because of this so I can't get the pain down at all.

Ketamine and HBOT were on the list for the next things to try but it's a $$ thing and there is none.

I currently take Lyrica--450mg x 2/day. Cymbalta--30mg x 2/day. Miacalcin once a day... i don't think that's spelled right.


I have no spouse, no significant other, no kids.... I have brothers and sisters but never see or talk to them... I live with my parents who could care less if I am here other than I am a drain on their bills-- and I don't eat much--no appetite...don't use much electric--only tv on most of the time--no lights... don't use much water---sorry to say but bathing is hard so I usually just wash up. I have only 1 friend... others disappeared shortly after I was diagnosed and I haven't heard from them in nearly 3 years.

I am worthless... empty... lost... hopeless.

I used to be very active and athletic... softball, rollerblading, martial artist, running. Now I struggle to move.

Disablity has been applied for but we all know that game...
Work Comp settlement is pending... It's a mess and that game is just as bad as a disability.


I'm tired and have nothing worth going on for...

Abasaki,

I did some google searches about narcotic allergies.

I found this page - http://www.bccancer.bc.ca/HPI/Cancer...CancerPain.htm

that has this quote -
I don't know if you have tried methadone, or if it is on the list that your doctor gave you of "meds to avoid" but from what I have read, those who are allergic to narcotics are often NOT allergic to methadone.

Did your allergic response happen during the first dose of the medications? or did it occur later on? I ask because I found this page - http://www.hopkinshospital.org/healt...d_allergy.html

Which seems to suggest that it is an allergy if the reaction happens later (after taking it for a while) but it is an idiosyncratic reaction if it happens during the first few doses... the page also says that if a person has an idiosyncratic reaction that they do need to avoid the offending medication and related medications - but according to the first link Methadone is not similar to other narcotics, so maybe that would be different?

I would not want to suggest something that might harm you, I honestly do not know much about allergies and reactions - but from what I read just now on those pages seems to make some suggestions that methadone is different from other narcotics and methadone is less likely to cause allergy and reactions.

((((((((hugs))))))

I will type more in a minute - nature is calling - be right back

I also found this -
http://opioids.com/buprenorphine/pain-manage.html

It is about a medication called Buprenorphine, which is often used as a medication to treat drug addicts (similar to the way methadone is used to treat herion addicts). Recently studies have shown that this medication is useful as pain reduction medication. It binds to different receptors in the brain than traditional narcotic medications, so maybe you would not have a reaction or an allergy to it? It's certainly worth printing the study article and asking your doctor about.

More about Buprenorphine and pain management-
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/q...&dopt=Abstract

http://www.stoppain.org/pcd/content/...Management.asp



I'm not trying to overwhelm you with medical information... I just want to try to point out some new options and new treatments. Maybe you have tried them already, maybe not. Maybe they can help reduce your pain, maybe not.

But if you have not tried them, it is definately worth talking to your doctor to see if they would be possible.

There is always hope. I could do google searches all night about new pain treatments - and I will if you would like the information - but mostly I just want to show you that there are options available, there is hope, there are new treatments, and new things are discovered everyday.

((((((((hugs))))))))))

Liz

((((((Abasaki)))))),

http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...ding-hands.gif I've spent my whole life fighting depression. I *recognize* depression when I see it and hear it in others. *YOU* are depressed. Cymbalta stinks for deep depression.

I want you to do something for me. Read this and then answer a question:

The question: WHY is this enough for you?? I wouldn't wish a life like this on my worst enemy. If you give up and do not fight for MORE, you are saying I ACCEPT ALL OF THIS, this is ENOUGH FOR ME, I want NO MORE.

I cannot believe that. I cannot.

I * KNOW* you want more. I *KNOW* you want better. I *KNOW* you want relief. I *KNOW* you choose life.

Abasaki, do you have a psychiatrist?? Not a psychologist or psychiatric social worker -- a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication if necessary?? A psychiatrist who can work with you to discover WHY you think you deserve so little.

You are at the bottom of huge pit of depression, Abasaki. I've been there enough times to recognize it. You need to take active steps to get out of it.

There are people here: http://www.recovery-inc.com that will show you how to cope with living. They're everywhere in the world. There's minimal cost -- maybe just for having the janitor clean up after the meetings. You can get the books at the library. Please go to a couple of meetings. Share a book with the person next to you. Sign up to have the newsletters mailed to you. See if it helps.

You are worth SO MUCH MORE than what you are accepting for your life. Please...fight for more.

http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...dinghands1.jpg

Barb

Hey, Abasaki -

I am absolutely overwhelmed with your sorrow and hopelessness; and I am just as overwhelmed at the surge of immediate response to your post. I'm so sorry I wasn't home to see it sooner. I'd like to thank everyone from other forums and the helpers for being there for us; you've all said more than I ever could.

I'm thinking of the immediate hours. Abasaki, I too have no one special and no money at all. You have your parents; I won't suggest you talk to them, I sense you would have if you could have...and I know that without money your choices of who to turn to are very limited. I don't know the US system, so I can't really offer much practical advice.

But I know what I'd do if I were you right now. I'd go immediately to the ER and tell them what you've told us (specially the allergy problems!). I have no idea what they could do but I just feel they might do something. I have no idea what happens if you tell them you have no money. If they're likely to kick you out, can you get some attention first and worry about that later, I'm wondering.

But maybe even before you do that you should phone one of those numbers Jo posted (extremely good idea, Jo, for us all...). I was one of the people on the other end for a couple of years long ago - and you'd be shocked at the high percentage of callers who were not only severely depressed, but were severely lacking in funds too. They go hand in hand. We had lists of local assistance of all kinds, things you wouldn't guess at. Please give it a go, right now. Right now, please?

I'm sending this off the top of my head, I'll clean it up later.

You've been here in this forum since practically day one, Abasaki, you're part of our base core. You always come on to help others, please let us help you...
many hugs xx

just wanted to let everyone know i made it through the night... nothing's different or better but I'm still here.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))

I just woke up, so my brain is still a bit foggy but I just wanted to give you a hug.

I'll be online for most of the day if you want to talk.

Take care of you,
Liz

Dear Abasaki

i am so glad to see your post and just hope and pray that the right treatment can be found to lessen your pain

many people care about you here.....even those of us who are just getting to know you

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b2...575-19-044.jpg